Joe's dumb jokes!
The Duck Joke!
One day a duck walks into a bookstore any says to the bookeeper "S'cuse me sir, but do you have any grapes?" The book keeper looks real confused and finaly says "Uh...no..um...this is a bookstore. We sell books. Not grapes"
"Oh I see." Says the duck and he walks out.
The next day the duck walks into the bookstore again and says "S'cuse me sir, but do you have any grapes?"
After a minute the bookeeper says "NO. This is a bookstore. We don't have any grapes."
"Oh, I see." The duck says and he walks out
The next day the duck walks back into the bookstore and says "S'cuse me sir, but do you have any grapes?"
The bookeeper looks at him and says "NO! This is a bookstore! We don't sell grapes! We sell BOOKS! NOT grapes!"
"Oh, I see" says the duck and he walks out.
Well this goes on for a whole month.
So the duck walks in again, and says "S'cuse me sir, but do you have any grapes?"
Well the bookeeper blows his top and says
"Listen duck! Every day for a month you come in here asking for grapes! And I have been telling you for a month, THIS IS A BOOKSTORE! WE DON'T HAVE ANY GRAPES! IF YOU COME HERE AGAIN AND ASK FOR GRAPES, I'M GONNA NAIL YOUR FEET TO THE FLOOR!"
The duck shudders and says "Oh, I see!" and walks out quickly.
Well, the next day the duck walks into the bookstore and says "S'cuse me sir, but do you have any nails?"
The bookeeper is a little confused. Then he says "Um, no. I don't have any nails"
"Well" says the duck "in that case, do you have any grapes?"
The Restaurant
Two men walked into a slightly run-down resteraunt and sat down. When the waitress appeared she asked what the men wanted. The first man said "I'll have a cup of coffee with sugar please." "Make that two" said the second man, "But please make sure my cup is clean."
So a few minutes later the waitress came back with two coffee mugs on her tray and said "Okay, which one of you wanted the clean cup?
Stolen PAY?
A teenager was living with his aunt. One day he invited his girlfriend over. When they ran out of things to do, they went down to the post office and picked up his aunt's mail. When the guy's girlfriend saw his aunt's paycheck, she grabbed it and ran off! Quickly the guy ran to a pay phone and called the police. When someone finaly answered, the guy said "Help! My girlfriend just ran off with my aunt's pay!" So the cop on the other end laughed and said "Ootay Adbay!"
Tuna again!
One day two construction workers were on their lunch break. When one guy opened his lunch box he said "Ick! Tuna! Why do I have to eat this awful tuna for lunch?"
The next day the two men were on their break when the same man opened his lunch box. "YUCK!" he exclaimed, "I HATE tuna!"
On the third day he opened his lunch box and yelled "NOOOO! Tuna again! I'm sick of this nausinating tuna!!!"
Well this goes on for a week, and on the seventh day the guy opened his lunch box and yelled "TUNA AGAIN! I HATE TUNA WITH A PASSION! AND WHAT DO I GET? TUNA! I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE! I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT!!!!" and broke out into sobbing.
"Aw" said his friend "it's not so bad. Just have your wife make something else." The man choked back his tears and said "Naw, that won't do no good. I make my own sandwiches."
