This Kind of Love
by April the evil princess of dark
E-mail: dinerly@crosswinds.net
Web Site: http://www.crosswinds.net/~dinerly/xf/index.htm
Archive: a hollar would be nice
Feedback: I would love to read.
Category: V, Scully POV
Rating: PG Spoilers: Momento Mori, Requium
Summary: How would Scully think after losing mulder?
Disclaimer: if i own the X Files i wouldn't just sit here like a bummer.
Thanks: lisa for being my beta reader :) pale ari and JayB for reading it first lol

I fear the darkness will swallow me. I fear fate will divide us. I can not think of life without you, Mulder.

Once, I was told that love is meant to join two lives. From the moment I stepped into your office, I knew that our lives had been interconnected thoroughly.

I remember fighting the battle with cancer, Mulder. I know I've touched you like no other, and I know that my death would have transformed your life completely.

And now look what you have left me, Mulder! I don't want to be transformed, as you would have been, if I had died. Now you may die, and all I am left with is our child.

As I am sitting here, my heart beats with hers. I can feel her thoughts, her feelings and her heart. The bliss of being a mother has mixed us so >beautifully.

I do not know what kind of love I have for you. I know it's not as simple as we see it. It's more complex, more elegant and more fulfilling. It is the love we spent 7 years to rise and I know I could never reach the zenith with another.

As a special agent I've searched for justice with you. I have seen and have understood the meaning of life, death, and parting. I've done autopsies on lifeless bodies who used to be people just like us. Who had a family, had a dream, had a life, and had the beautiful moments and memories. I've seen and have sympathized with the people who have lost their parents, sons, daughters. Criminals have changed so many people's lives and have destroyed so many families.

The pain never healed. Mulder.

At this moment I cannot stand back and see your disappearance as a case. It is a wound time cannot heal. You are my child's father. The injustice of life has ruined all types of hopes and dreams. This is the time for me to >stop it.

So I cling to my faith against all despairs. I have to find you, Mulder. This is a battle I fight to save our love. The love mixed with partnership, friendship, trust, faith and wonder. The love that changed us involuntarily, the love I admit and believe without any doubt.

This kind of love.