Barbara Eden vs. Joan Collins (1966) by Bob

By the mid-sixties Dave Moll was making a lot of money promoting his famous celebrity apartment catfights. Although there had never been a championship match, Barbara Eden was considered to be the best despite the fact she was just a shade over 5'3" tall. But the blonde bombshell was as quick as a cat, and aggressive as bull which made up for her lack of size. The busty blonde was also deceptively strong and while she was considered one of the nicest celebrities in Hollywood, she had a mean streak when she fought and the gorgeous blonde was never content to simply win; she wanted to destroy her opponents! After winning thirty straight matches, the undefeated blonde was declared, 'The Queen of Catfighting' by Moll and her many fans.

Then 'Queen Barbara’ told Dave Moll, "Get me a match with Joan Collins. I've never liked her and I'd love to get her in a fight." Moll told her he'd tried several times to get Joan to fight her, but Joan had heard all about Barbara's reputation for toughness and had ignored his many requests to fight his champion. Barbara said, "Offer her money! I'll give her $10,000 out of my own pocket if she’ll fight me. I want her and I'll do anything to get her. We worked together once and she started some nasty rumors that led to my getting fired. I’ve got a score to settle with her."

When Dave called Joan one more time to try and arrange a match, the 5'6" beauty told him she didn't want to fight Barbara until Moll told her he'd give her $10,000, win or lose. The feisty British beauty quickly agreed to take on the blonde bombshell. Like Barbara, the British bombshell was undefeated at the time. Although she hadn't fought a lot of the toughest women, Joan had easily destroyed everyone she faced. Like Barbara, Joan was deceptively strong and like Barbara, she too had a mean streak and would do whatever she had to to destroy her foes.

After a week of hype and anticipation the day of the fight had finally arrived. A large crowd filled the banquet hall of the hotel that Dave had rented. The British beauty was the first to enter the fight area. Wearing a black bra and black panties, black fishnet stockings, and black heels, the cocky black-haired beauty turned the crowd on with a series of poses that left little to the imagination.

Hearing the men cheering wildly, Barbara, who was wearing a white bra and panties, white stockings, and white heels, decided not to wait until she was introduced. She entered the fight area and shoved Joan while she was still preening and posing. Joan turned, glared at the champion and then disdainfully laughed as she turned her back and continued playing to the crowd.

"I'm going to rip all her hair out and strip her," she announced as she turned and slapped the surprised blonde. Barbara retaliated with a slap of her own and despite the fact her hard slap had left the red imprint of her palm on Joan's fair face, the black-haired beauty just laughed. "Is that as hard as you can hit? You slap like a girl. My younger sister, Jackie, used to hit me harder when we would fight as kids."

Barbara couldn't believe Joan's arrogance and hissed, “Oh I can hit a lot harder, hon."

She then gave Joan another hard slap. When Joan again laughed, Barbara gave her another hard slap. Joan retaliated by reaching out and raking her sharp nails across Barbara’s left cheek. The scratch drew blood and shocked and surprised the blonde. Incensed when she realized she was bleeding, Barbara tried retaliating with a scratch of her own, but with catlike reflexes, Joan put a hand up and not only blocked the blonde's attempt to scratch her, but then Joan’s other hand flashed out and Joan again clawed the blonde, raking her fingernails down Barbara's right cheek. Joan had drawn blood twice now and she was ready to move in for the kill!

Before the blonde stunned could recover from having both her pink cheeks bloodied, Joan grabbed Barbara's hair with both hands and yanked her head to one side. She continued pulling the blonde's hair, twisting and jerking until Barbara was off balance and once she had Barbara in a position in which she was defenseless, Joan released her blonde hair with one hand, and gave her foe a hard slap to her bloodied right cheek. Barbara screamed from the pain of the stinging slap.

"What's the matter Babs?” Joan laughed. “Did I hurt you?"

When Barbara didn't answer, Joan brought her knee up, driving it hard to Barbara's face. Suddenly, the blonde champion was in big trouble! Looking to destroy her, Joan continued to hold the dazed Barbara bent forward as she again smashed her knee up into the blonde champions bleeding face. The black-haired aggressor quickly let go of Barbara's hair and drove her doubled fists down on Barbara's back, buckling the blonde's legs and nearly putting her on her knees. Joan followed with a judo chop to the back of Barbara's neck and the shattered blonde crumpled to her knees and put one hand on the floor to support herself as she blinked and shook her head trying to clear the cobwebs.

With the blonde champion kneeling at her feet, Joan stepped around and threw her leg across Barbara, then sat down on her back, clamping her knees against her ribs in her best ‘English Pony Ride’ style. Joan unhooked the blonde's bra and pulled it up, wrapping it around Barbara's neck. The blonde immediately started gasping as Joan tightened her grip, cutting off her air. Joan applied more and more pressure, tightening the choke hold with the bra until the blonde beauty couldn't breathe. Barbara desperately clawed and pulled at the bra trying to pulled it from her throat, but the raven-haired English beauty held tight; Joan was too strong.

As Barbara continued to struggle, Joan took the bra in both hands like a pair of reins on her favorite pony, then leering for the audience she reached back and gave the blonde a hard spank on her curvy ass. The CRACK of Joan's bare hand slamming into Barbara's ass echoed throughout the ballroom and a bright red hand-print glowed on the blonde beauties backside.

Joan laughed, "Oh, Barbara’s been a baaaaad girl. She needs a good spanking."

She brought her hand down four times and each of her hard spanks brought cheers from the capacity crowd. But when Joan turned around, bent down and buried her teeth in Barbara's ass it was too much. Barbara screamed as she collapsed on her stomach, both hands waving and flapping wildly as she tried in vain to reach around Joan’s hips to protect her vulnerable ass from further harm.

Still gasping for air, Barbara managed to grunt, "I'm going to kill you when I get up."

Joan just laughed at Barbara's empty threat, "That should be interesting. Just how do you plan to get up?" she asked, bouncing up and down and making the blonde grunt with each impact of her tight ass on Barbara’s back.

Barbara tried to push herself up, but Joan was clearly in control and each time Barbara planted her hands and tried to get up, Joan would lean forward and bounce or shift her position to apply more weight on the blonde's back. Barbara was unable to move or wriggle free. Finally, Joan let go of Barbara bra and grabbed a handful of her blonde mane, using it to shove Barbara's face into the carpet and grinding it to remind her she could do anything she wanted - whenever she wanted. Joan scrubbed Barbara's face into the rug for several minutes, the she suddenly let the blonde go. To everyone surprise, the black-haired beauty got off of Barbara, gave her as hard kick in the ass and stepped away from her.

"All right Barbara; let's see if you can kill me." Barbara didn't move, so Joan gave her another hard kick and yelled, "Come on tough girl! You want to kill me, well here's your chance."

Barbara continued to lie on the floor and Joan gave her butt another hard kick, then turned to the crowd and said, "Looks like the champs not getting up. It would appear, Ladies and Gentlemen, that I'm the new champion. She's pretty pathetic. I’m surprised she hadn’t lost several times by now!"

Suddenly the blonde sprung to her feet, screamed and charged at the black-haired fighter while Joan was still posturing for her fans. Barbara slammed into the challenger and both women tumbled to the floor. They rolled over several times, then Barbara mounted Joan and started throwing a barrage of punches, driving her hard fists down into the startled challenger's face. After landing five hard punches, however, Joan managed to grab Barbara's blonde hair and roll her off.

Now back in control, the black-haired fighter gave Barbara a hard slap across her face and growled, "I gave you a second chance, babe. Look's to me like you couldn't back your words." She gave Barbara another hard slap. "You lost. I'd give up now if I were you and avoid the inevitable beating."

She faked another slap and when she saw Barbara cringe and shut her eyes, Joan knew she’d won! The black-haired catfighter rolled Barbara over on her stomach, grabbed Barbara's white panties and ripped them down and off. Holding the champions white panties and waving them triumphantly in the air, Joan taunted her foe.

"Should I stuff these sweaty things in your mouth?" She watched Barbara’s face closely and saw the fear appear in the blonde champs eyes. "How about if I put them over your face and smother you?" Joan teased, grinning as tears appeared in Barbara’s wide eyes. Joan used Barbara’s panties to whip her back and bare, up-turned butt until her entire bottom was bright pink. When she stopped, Barbara pushed up on her elbows and looked back over her shoulder…..Joan gave her a hard slap that whipped her head to the side, then she gave the blonde another hard punch in the eye.

Barbara knew she had lost and she couldn't take anymore humiliation, weakly she muttered, "I give."

Joan got up and raised her hands in the air, then she flexed; showing surprisingly well-developed biceps. The spectators cheered loudly and to emphasize her superiority, Joan removed her top to show off a beautiful pair of firm young tits. Standing over the sobbing and defeated blonde, Joan couldn’t stop grinning.

"Remember this beating,” she told Barbara as she posed with her foot on her ass. “Any time you want some more, you'll know where you can find me. Oh, and thanks for the $10,000 too. It’s going to pay for a great party for the new champion!"

Although Barbara Eden continued to fight for Dave Moll - and easily beat the majority of women she faced for the next ten years - she carefully avoided Dave Moll's new champion! Several influential people tried to talk Barbara into asking for a rematch and a few offered large sums of money if she’d take on the black-haired mauler but the beating Joan gave Barbara that night made her realize she’d always be second best as long as Joan was fighting - which she did well into the 21st Century with her same fire and zeal. Joan compiled a record that left her with few rivals in consideration as an all-time great with her main rival, Raquel Welch! 1