WAR

By Daniel Birch

Introduction

During the 2lst century there was a huge chemical war. Because of all the chemicals in the air the laws of physics soon started to change. And because the whole world was in this war against Vietnam and Colombia, chemicals were everywhere. Those two countries put up a good fight too. Heck, they made the war last for a century. Anyway, with the whole world against them you might think we should have been able to kick them to where the sun don’t shine, but they had a secret weapon. Four of them. Four of the most ruthless scientists in the world. But one day my father entered into a cave in one of the hills in Colombia. He never came out, ......, neither did the scientists. Then there was a slight twist in the war. We won. But there was one small problem, the chemicals that were changing physics were really changing physics. When someone said, “Elvis is alive." They weren't kidding.

Chapter 1: A New War

Ben Drost (one of my best friends) and I were summoned to the White House on the morning of July 4, 2100. Ben had helped me get over my father's death and I owed him my sanity, but I couldn't give it to him or I'd go insane. Upon reaching the White House we were met by President I. M. Knutz at the door.

"Hello, gentleman," said the president, "Do you mind if we talk outside? I think the woman, my secret service men call the first lady, might be a spy."

I looked at Ben, he just shrugged, "President Kah-Noots ..." I started.

"My name is pronounced Nuts," replied the president.

"Oh, sorry. Anyway, I thought the war was over."

"It is," he said handing Ben and me war assignments.

"Mr. President?," asked Ben, "Pardon me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t there need to be a war if you're going to give war assignments?'.

"By golly, you're right!" replied the President, "It looks like we'll just have to start a war."

"Sir, that doesn't seem advisable. Might there be some other reason you have given us these assignments?!” I asked.

"Hmmm, now that you mention it, yes. Ben, you are going to Colombia to join Captain Rope to make sure Colombian forces don't produce any weapons to start another war. Daniel Birch, you are going to Vietnam to free any and every P.O.W's."

Ben and I had never fought in the chemical war. We were trained and ready, but when we were standing next in line to join the war, it ended. Thus the reason for us to receive these orders; we were next in line. We took a taxi to the Washington Airbase to fly to our destinations the President had told us to go to.

On our way there, Ben took out a book and started writing in it. I asked him what it was and he told me it was a journal he was going to keep while he was in Colombia. I decided I would keep one too. Thus, the reason, why you are reading it now. We soon reached the airport. After saying our good-byes, we left in our planes to what would become our destiny.

Chapter 2: The First Mission

That night I reached Homebase in Vietnam. Major Bonder told me to go to bed because my first mission would be the next day. The following morning a platoon of twenty men and I were assembled and entered a plane. An hour later we were blown to Quibbles & Bits. Everyone survived except the pilot, he forgot his parachute at home. When we landed, we immediately removed our parachutes, but before Sgt. Target could give his first command we were attacked. This was not going to he a good day.

Only five others besides myself escaped with our lives. Now we're lost, hungry, and cold. But then I remembered that if anything went wrong, we were to make our way south to the pick-up point where Major Krumley Bonder would he waiting for us in a chopper. To head south, was our only hope. It was now starting to get dark, so we set up camp. Each man held his gun nearby. We were scared, Scared and bored.

Then I remembered I had brought my mini t.v., a generator, and a Nontendo. Playing Super Duper Bros. took our minds off our problems. We were having such a good time, until some Vietnamese showed up, and blew up our Nontendo. That made us mad. We blew them away like wind blowing away leaves. Suddenly we found the reason why they were there. They were escorting POWs to a P.O.W. camp. Rescuing the prisoners added five men.

The next morning we reached the pickup point, but the chopper left us behind. I guess the government didn't want to pay the P.O.W,'s for overtime. Then I was reminded that we were left behind with no Nontendo to keep us entertained, and that Major Bonder himself was flying the chopper! This meant war. What am I saying? This is war.

Chapter 3: The Secret Origin of Major Crispy

We were attacked again that night. I lost two lives, Oops! I was thinking of Nontendo. What I meant was that I lost two men Bang! Make that three. Suddenly, we were inspired. We remembered how our friend the Nontendo died, and that made us mad. Being madly inspired made stronger than our enemies so we were able to beat our enemy. Most of them were killed, the others escaped, but we were able to capture one. We tied him to a tree.

"Where's the nearest chopper?" I asked.

Sure enough he was a wise guy he started talking in Colombian. A former P.O.W. turned and asked me, "Could it be that he is Colombian?"

"But,” I replied, "that would mean that Colombia and Vietnam might be trying to start another World War. Talk about your technical difficulties."

We all thought that it was logical that if we were attacked by Colombians in 'Nam, there must be a Colombian helicopter nearby. We decided to find that chopper and go home. After a long search we found a Colombian helicopter. There were two guards. There were eight of us. The guards each had handguns. We were fully armed. We surrounded them. They gave up. It was that simple. We tied the guards to two trees. Our team then loaded up into the chopper, and I flew us to Homebase.

"Welcome back, We almost thought you wouldn't make it back," said the cold Major Bonder.

"You left us to die, You're a traitor to your men and to your country," I said.

"What are you going to do about it?" he gloated as he picked up his gun.

"Men ..." I said.

The troops grabbed Major Bonder and dragged him outside. They put a stake in the ground and tied the cruel major to it. They poured gasoline over his head and struck a match. Major Bonder or should I say Major Crispy was burning rather nicely. Little did we know that at that moment we were deciding our fate. Or at least helping it along a great deal.