CURSE OF THE MATHEMATICIAN'S WIFE (WITH APOLOGIES TO BRUCE BOSTON) Calculating with exactitude the definitive parameters of his connubial existence, the mathematical genius considers for the nth time the exquisite irony of marrying a woman whose "math anxiety" was nearly phobic in its intensity. Perhaps the sexuality index, s, appearing as it did in the numerator of his equation (where, raised to a very high power indeed, it compensated for various fault factors in the denominator), had much to do with it. But man does not live on bed alone, and the import of other variables, equally complex, does not escape him. He considers the possible solutions, real and imaginary, all neatly arrayed on the foolscap of his cerebral cortex, and realizes with dismay that, despite their abiding love for one another, he and his wife had chosen asymptotic pathways through life's topography. Always getting closer and closer, the chasm between them growing smaller and smaller forever, they would never quite coincide. He smiles, recognizing a good thing when he sees it. Besides, not being numbers, they could always reach across the gap - Keith Allen Daniels
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