There once was a young chap named Alfred. Alfred was slightly unusual from the other boys at his school, mainly because of his giant elbows.
It was one of the first things people noticed about poor Alfred. Not just because they were giant elbows, but because they were actually bows. The type you get around the better class of present.
Obviously it being school and all, Alfred was picked on something rotten. He dind't mind though because he had a Plan. And he was mad, but the plan is more important.

Alfred's plan was simple. When he was older he would harvest his own elbows and sell them for a profit. He thought he'd make millions. The only problem of course was that bows were frankly quite inexpensive, selling his own elbows, giant though they were would only earn Alfred enough for a newspaper. This did not occur to Alfred, nor the fact that he would die without his elbows.
Still his sunny disposition was not ruined by the bleakness of his future, mainly through him not knowing what was to come.
Alfred spent most of his days at school as any young boy would, but during school instead of going to the lessons Alfred would run and skip and hop and jump outside with all the furry animals. Little did the rather thick lad realise that he would both get thrown out of school and get rabies from the furry little creatures.

Still the cheerful and dim youngster continued through his life. Unaware of the cataclysm that lay ahead.

Luckily to avoid all this bad luck the universe dropped an asteroid on Alfred as the universe tends to not like watching people suffer. You may think this is harsh, but given Alfred's future consisted of being bitten, getting rabies, being thrown out of school having a rather large social stigma from being well known as the thick large elbowed boy and finally dying from a pointless business enterprise. See? The universe is actually quite a kind old soul.

Particularly for Nora who was walking past as Alfred got struck by the asteroid, addmitedly she had a large dry cleaning bill afterwards, but she was used to that as her twin interests were astronomy and pig farming. Many people consider these to be rather seperate tastes, but not so Nora. She considered the whole galaxy to be made up from pigs, which just goes to show how barmy some people can be. She put this theroy forward once to Patrick Moore the reknowned astromoner. Unfortunately she had yet to make the distinction between a person on the TV and being in the same room as her. Nora sulked for weeks when she got no reply other than when Sky At Night would next be on.

As it turned out though she was prooved entirely correct and much to everyone's suprise (including the pigs) the universe turned out to be a giant pig. Should have seen Nora's face.... bright red. She was really miffed. I mean her whole life was spent devoted to prooving this then all of a sudden the universe turns round, says "yup I am". That's it. The end of her whole life effectively. What else is she to do? There's not much of a career path for the person who pointed out that you were living on a big ball of pork. Except possibly a chat show presented but even at her darkest hour Nora had standards.

But to wrap things up neatly because the universe besides not liking suffering doesn't like poorly ended stories either. So Nora got a job in a butchers complaining at customers but they put up with it for the premium pork at low low prices! Oh and just so everyone is happy, Alfred was resurrected, sold his elbows for 35p, bought the Daily Mail, won one of their instant win things, got a doctor to seal up his arms and cure his rabies then retired happily making fun of the chumps who ridiculed his elbows beforehand who were know shovelling the stuff produced by a universe sized pig.