I have a problem.
It's the sock people living under my bed.
I thought moving house at the end of the univeristy year might've put them off living under me. But apparently not. They sneaked into my parent's car somehow and followed me.
But that's not the problem.
The main problem is that small things evolve quicker then big things.
Or so the sock people tell me and I guess they shoudl know. I asked them about mice. I mean mice dont' seem to be too evolved. They jsut laughed. Seems the hitch hiker's guide was right and mice really live in ten dimensions and we just see a small part of them. I asked them about small dogs which yap constantly.
Seems there are exceptions to every rule.
But mainly my troubel comes from the fact they've discovered space travel.
Space travel for us humans is a good thing. From my point of view space travel for the sock people isn't. Mainly because I inhabit the space they travel in. It's somewhat disturbing to wake up with a probe orbiting your head, as you can well imagine.
Luckily, however, the sock people have evolved beyond finding puns funny so comments on my lower regions do not mention anything about going to Uranus or landing on the moon.
The exploration of space has ioncevered some weird thinkers in the sock people society. Apparently when the first pictures cmae back fromt he probe they saw my nose at a certain angle and believed it to be a sock like formation. This led to some people assuming that the sock people must have come from my head originally or that there are other extra carpet beings out there.
I tried to explain.
I caused a holy war.
Have you ever tried to sleep while a holy war goes on under your bed? It's not easy.
Still because of their quick rate of evolution they produced a generation within a few hours which was entirely opposed to war on moral grounds. Unfortunately they couldn't fight to save their lives.
Literally.
I'm not sure whether I'm for or against them everntually creating a weapon of mass destruction. I mean it'd end their war pretty quickly. On the other hand I'd be above it.
The guns are silent now.
Mainly because they've fitted them all with silencers.
It's suprising at quite how agressive this race is. The war from their point has been in existence for several generations. But then knowing that they evolved thorugh my lack of care about where I put my dirty socks wouldn't exactly fill any race with a general sense of well being towards the universe.
They're fairly miffed.
Still, as their creator I get a small amount of respect. Not as much as you'd think. A lot of the sock people are going on about how they're actually descended from a section of carpet which one day decided to split and carried on from their. Clearly not realsiing the time and effort I put into their creation.
Well maybe time.
OK well it was my fault even if I didn't actually set out to do it.
So I've basically created a race of highly evolved creatures who are at the moment in a holy war because of my ocmments, under my bed and with a lot of them losing any form os respect they had for me.
Definately against them developing weapons of mass destruction now.
I think I'll get a hammock