Random Thoughts - Fanfic: The Unexpected Soul

Note: This story is intended only for the enjoyment of Harry Kim fans everywhere. Part 1 is slightly K/7 in an angsty sort of way, but part two will be more friendly-like.... yes, that's a teaser with the express purpose of getting you back to this site at a later date.

Disclaimer: Paramount, or is it Viacom... Anyway, they own all the Star Trek characters and the horse they rode in on.

Part I:

[Captain's Log: We've finally resumed our journey home. It's taken weeks of work, but, the crew has completed repairs of the damage done to Voyager while using the quantum slip stream drive. Unfortunately, a ship subjected to a critical stress doesn't return to "as good as new" condition when you remove that stress. After a thorough inspection, we determined that the hull had to be reinforced in several weakened sections, and structural integrity had been compromised in key areas. In fact, several sections of the trusses supporting the warp nacelles needed to be replaced entirely. The plasma welds will integrate the new truss sections without a loss of strength, but, somehow it hurts me to know I've damaged Voyager so severely. I guess that's part of the Captain's burden. One good thing to come of all this, the labor required to make the repairs was extensive, but it seems to have helped the crew to recover their spirits after such a terrible disappointment. Even so, they still look slightly haunted by the opportunity we have lost.]

The Captain leaned across the back the couch in her ready room and propped her chin up on one fist. That was only part of what troubled Janeway. The rest was too undefined for her log, she wasn't able to describe the effect Arturis' betrayal had on her. From the moment she had discovered his deception to the moment Voyager brought her back from the edge of Borg space, she had operated on pure adrenalin. Now, weeks later she was finally starting to consider how she felt about it. Coming so close to home and then almost losing the ship and the people she loved, it was almost too much to bear.

Janeway reclined slightly, balancing the PADD with her log on her crossed knees, and rubbed her forehead pensively. Letting her head rest on the couch back, she contemplated the dark rush of stars sliding past her view port, until the details of her ready room began to fade. She felt, momentarily, as if she had somehow reentered the slip stream. The events of the last few months fell away for a moment and all she could see was space through her half closed eyes.

The Captain sighed and shook her head. It wasn't like her to be so unfocused. "This is Janeway, what is it Tuvok?"

"Captain, we have an unidentifiable object on our long range scanners. Your presence is requested on the bridge."

"Report," commanded the Captain as she strode onto the bridge. She had left her ready room as soon as the words "unidentifiable" had been uttered. She spared a quick glance at Harry as she passed, he looked pale. The dark circles under his eyes seemed to indicated he wasn't sleeping much.

He'd been strange of late, she thought. Harry was more high strung and sharp tempered than he used to be. Granted, his new found desire to speak his mind and champion his own ideas was a welcome change, but, it was a more than that somehow. Harry still smiled and joked with the other crew members, but his humor had taken on a dark edge, as if he was slightly unaware of how his words could affect their target. However, regardless of what was causing this change in him, he wasn't one to neglect his duty. His fingers danced rapidly across his station console as he worked to assess the situation.

"Captain," said Harry. "Long range scanners have picked up a spherical object, roughly 3 meters in diameter. It's moving in our direction at high warp. There is no answer to our hail."

"Can you get a reading of what's inside the sphere, Harry?" Chakotay asked as Janeway seated herself beside him. She could feel her first officer studying her profile, trying to gauge her next move. She resisted the urge to return his stare.

"Negative, Sir," replied Harry without looking up, still working feverishly at his console. "The sphere seems to be an bio-electric energy shell the sensors can't penetrate. It's now within visual range."

"On screen. Mr. Paris, slow to half impulse." The Captain caught her breath momentarily as the object appeared before them. Magnified by the view screen, it was startlingly beautiful, like a pearl against the black velvet of space. No pearl she'd ever seen had the silver glow of this one though. As it raced toward the ship, she could see an opalescent gleam chasing across it's surface.

"Captain," reported Tuvok. "The sphere appears to be heading directly for Voyager. We should consider that this may be some type of weapon."

"Raise shields, yellow alert." Janeway leaned towards Chakotay and said in a low voice, "I don't think we can afford to take any chances, do you commander?"

"No, Captain!" he answered with a grim smile. "We just got this ship cleaned up."

"Still no readings on the interior of the sphere. Captain, I'm detecting another vessel following it." Harry sounded worried, she thought, and well he should. This was very peculiar. He continued, "The second vessel seems to be a more conventional ship.... but I can't identify what type of drive it's using."

The mysterious sphere slowed and stopped before Voyager. It looked, for all the world, like a giant Christmas ornament. The opalescent colors swirled slowly around it's surface. "The sphere has assumed a position one kilometer off our bow," said Tuvok.

"Captain," said Harry, a note of uncertainty in his voice. "Somebody is piggy backing a message on our comm signal. It's the sphere, I think... It's asking for permission to come aboard?"

Harry transmitted the message. He looked up in alarm. "It said it would be easier to explain in person!"

The sphere dipped forward and passed effortlessly through the shields. The disrupted shields responded with a flash of blue light that was almost blinding. When her eyes recovered from the flash, Janeway found the glowing sphere only meters away from the ship. Before she could utter another command, it had passed through the hull of the ship and was poised at the front of the bridge. It seemed to pause there.

"Intruder alert!" Janeway shouted. Tuvok had already called for a security team and had a phaser trained on the sphere. Yet, even as the Captain leapt instinctively to her feet, the sphere was shrinking rapidly. Curiouser and curiouser, she wondered to herself, her body tight with angry anticipation.

The opalescence glow that flickered across the sphere's surface was fading fast. Solid blocks of more mundane colors began to coalesce on the surface of the object as it shrank. No longer spherical, the object had assumed a generally cylindrical shape slightly less than two meters high. Vaguely human features started to form on the object.

"It's starting to look humanoid but, I've never seen any species that could do this." Janeway whispered, unconsciously leaning into Chakotay's shoulder. She concentrated on un-clenching her fists, Voyager had hosted too many unfriendly aliens for her to feel happy about uninvited guests.

With a sudden flash of light, the object completed it's metamorphosis. In it's place stood what seemed to be, to all appearances, a human woman. She opened her eyes and looked up at the stunned bridge crew. In a low voice, almost to herself, she observed, "Humans? What are humans doing all the way out here?"

Janeway considered the intruder, one fist on her hip. As she was about to demand an explanation, Harry interrupted from behind her, "Captain, the pursuing vessel is hailing us." Casting a glance at the view screen, the Captain got a quick impression of the ship. It was small vessel but it had a beautifully liquid design, as if it's creators had managed to capture a teardrop of mercury and freeze it in place. The seamless and unadorned hull made the ship look swift and predatory.

"Tuvok, keep an eye on our visitor. Harry, on screen." Janeway ordered. Tuvok motioned for the two security officers just entering the bridge to move to where they had an unobstructed line of fire. On the main view screen, two fairly humanoid aliens appeared, one seemingly female, the other male. They were exotic and lovely with satiny, olive skin and luminous eyes that were entirely grey. Their silvery hair was strangely thick, like silk ribbons, and was twisted into elaborate coils. They bowed their heads gravely in greeting.

In the most neutral voice she could manage, Janeway said, "I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager. May we be of assistance to you?"

"Greetings, Captain Janeway." The female alien spoke. Her high voice was clear and melodic. "I am Jola, first commander of the Brae ship, Wave Scout. We appreciate your assistance in securing the subject."

"The earth female that boarded your ship." Jola continued smoothly, the male Brae nodded in agreement. "We are conducting a study of her abilities, such information is of great importance to us."

"What they're not saying, Captain," the woman interrupted, eyes flashing angrily, "is that I never agreed to become the 'subject' of their experiment and they tried to confine me against my will. I'm here to ask you for your protection"

"Those are serious accusations, Jola." Janeway considered the woman and the two aliens carefully. She resisted the need to rub her head and sigh. "Unless this person has committed some crime, I see no reason to give her into your custody." As if I could confine a woman who can fly through my shields, Janeway thought wryly.

"Captain," Jola's voice turned low and persuasive. "On our planet, the requirements of scientific research are paramount. Surely you do not mean to say that the selfish desires of single person outweigh the needs of an entire society."

"As the woman in question is not a member of your society, Jola," the Captain returned in equally diplomatic tones, "that is exactly what I mean to say. I respect your people's desire for knowledge but I can not accommodate you in this."

"We will be seeing you again soon, Captain." With a polite nod, Jola terminated communications. The main screen showed the Brae ship wheeling gracefully about and departing in the direction from which it came.

"Why do I get the feeling that was a threat, Captain?" Chakotay said quietly in Janeway's ear.

"Because it was, my friend." Janeway said grimly. She studied the stranger on her bridge carefully. It was difficult to determine her age. She was dressed plainly and held a small pack casually by the straps. She had brown hair, pulled back from her face, and large dark eyes. Her face would be ordinary, but for those large eyes and an almost unnatural symmetry of her features. Janeway broke her reverie with a mental shake of the head. If she was going to endanger Voyager by sheltering this woman, she needed some answers first. "We have a lot to talk about, Ms- ?"

The woman looked carefully at the weapons still held by the security officers and Tuvok. With a bemused smile, she slung her pack over one shoulder and raised her palms to shoulder level as if surrendering. "My name is Ann Winters, Captain. Thank you for sticking up for me."

"You'll have to forgive us if we appear distrustful," replied the Captain. "We seem to have more foe than friends in the Delta Quadrant. And your appearance is more than a little unorthodox."

"Well, I'll give you that. Please except my apologies for my precipitous entry." Ann bowed her head contritely, but left her hands up. She looked up at Tuvok again, "You have Vulcans aboard as well as humans? How many different species are on this ship?"

"If you don't mind, we'd like to ask you a few questions before we discuss the ship's roster." the Captain said firmly. "This is Commander Chakotay, my first officer, and Lieutenant Commander Tuvok, my Chief of Security. Will you join us in the briefing room?"

"This way please, Ms. Winters. Stand down the intruder alert, Mr. Paris, you have the bridge." Janeway gestured broadly to indicate the briefing room, she and Chakotay allowed Ann to proceed them as they left the bridge. The Captain noticed that Ann was staring intently up at Harry, looking very perplexed. For his part, Harry seemed surprised at her stare. Finally, Ann tore her gaze away to make her way through the briefing room doors.

"Well, that's kind of the abbreviated version, Captain." Ann pulled one foot onto her chair and laced her fingers around her knee. "I was born on earth in the twentieth century. My parents were farmers, and they died when I was young, only 16. After their funeral, the family lawyer hired a farm manager to take care of things and I was sent to live with a foster family. When I graduated from high school, I headed off to college. Generally, I studied whatever topic tickled my fancy. After a while, the administration forced me to admit I had graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in General Studies."

"I didn't know you could get a degree in such a thing," Chakotay said with a slight smile.

"Oh you could get a degree in just about anything as long as you paid your tuition." Ann grinned briefly. "A few years after I finished college, I left the earth and set out to find my roots, so to speak."

"You mean to find other people with your abilities?" Janeway observed, curiosity glinted in her eyes as she leaned towards Ann. She had always loved a mystery.

"Not exactly." Ann stared momentarily over her shoulder and out the view port at the passing stars. Her jaw tensed slightly. "I mean find out who did this to me."

"You don't think I was born with the ability to fly through the walls of star ships, do you?" Ann asked in a wry little voice. She picked at the fabric on the knee of her pants, seemingly unwilling to meet their gaze.

"Nope." Ann answered briefly. After a long moment she lifted her head again and smiled in a self-mocking manner. "But, I've had a great time looking. I spent a hundred years or so bumming around the alpha quadrant. I left in hopes of finding more clues."

"Excuse me, Captain," Tuvok said. "But I believe we should question Ms. Winters as to why the Brae were pursuing her and how she was able to penetrate the defenses of this ship"

"Call me Ann, please, and I would like to thank you for not firing on me," she said. "That always gives me a terrible headache. And, if this ship is as powerful as it looks, you might have hurt me."

"Is that why you were running from the Brae, Ann?" Chakotay said. "They were firing on you?"

"Yes," Ann said, the smile had left her face again. "Most likely they wouldn't have killed me, they were using just enough power to make it hard for me to escape."

"I'm not completely sure, though I seem to inspire curiosity wherever I go," Ann said. Janeway had a strange feeling that she knew more than she was willing to say. Ann looked up at the ceiling and seemed to considered her answer carefully. "I was a visitor to their planet for only a few hours before they decided to study me. They are a very technologically advanced people. In fact, the Brae seem to have a reverence for scientific discovery that borders on religion. They may not be unable to recognize that not all of their subjects want to be studied."

"And they don't seem able to tell when they have gone too far in their pursuit of scientific information. We should probably try to keep our contact with them to a minimum in case they decide that Voyager is worthy of study." Janeway said, looking steadily at their unexpected guest.

On the surface, she seemed to be a pleasant young woman. Not young, she's ten times your age, Janeway reminded herself. However, Ann didn't have the air of formality you might expect from someone a few centuries old. She seemed good natured and slightly irreverent, in a self deprecating way. When she smiled, Janeway found herself returning it easily. Even so, she thought, there was something hidden about Ann. Perhaps it had something to do with her quest to find whoever had given her these rare talents. All in all, she was an enigma and there were a few more questions to be answered before the Captain would feel at ease with her on Voyager. "Ann, how did you get through our shields?"

"I'm afraid I can't state it scientifically, Captain." Ann said, her dark eyes earnest. "But, when I'm in the energy state, I just sort of wiggle between the gaps at the atomic level."

"I told you I couldn't explain it scientifically." Ann said with a grimace. "Since, as you know, I'm not eager to become the subject of some experiment, I really only understand it on an instinctual level."

Seeing the incredulous looks on the Captain and Chakotay's faces, Ann sighed as if disappointed. With an air of reluctance, she continued, "When I was 14, I disappeared."

"I don't know, Captain." Ann twisted her fingers almost savagely through her ponytail, pulling her head around to look out the window again before turning back to them, "I was walking home from the bus stop after school, there was nobody around and no cars on the road. The next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital. To all outward appearances, I was completely unharmed. But, I had been gone for three days when they found me, unconscious, outside the emergency room door."

"Exactly," Ann said. "After that, I found I myself more and more able to interpret energy currents. I could change the channel on the television without touching the remote control buttons. I could access a computer simply by touching the interface. Eventually, I could even read most people's thoughts by touching their skin and reading the energy patterns involved in the thought process. Then I began to be able to control those patterns. What I like to call the energy state, my traveling sphere, is just a manipulation of my own personal energy patterns."

"It is fascinating," stated Tuvok, "that you were able to gain this level of control without understanding the mechanism involved. Are you able to similarly transform other beings?"

"Not really," answered Ann. "Why do you think I'm flying around out here by myself?"

Janeway and Chakotay both grinned at that. Ann continued, "Transforming to and from the energy state has to do with how well I know myself. Maybe that's why I don't age anymore, I just know myself as being this way. I could transform another living being to the energy state. However, I'm not at all sure I could ever know another living being well enough to put them together again. So, I've never tried. I have had success with inanimate objects," she said, gesturing to her pack. "The hard part is making sure you materialize inside the clothing."

Janeway smiled again. She felt more willing now to risk having Ann on Voyager. "Ann, you certainly are... unexpected. Would you consent to be our guest on Voyager? I'd like the opportunity to learn a little more about you."

"I don't want to be studied Captain, I mean that." Ann's suddenly bleak eyes stared intently into Janeway's. After a long moment, she broke the look and smiled wanly. "But I'd love to stay with you awhile. I miss the earth, I'd like to catch up on what's happened. In exchange for room and board, I would be happy to give you any information I have on what lies ahead."

"Captain," said Tuvok. "May I point out the security risks involved in having Ms. Winters on board? It may be impossible to keep her from accessing classified information about Voyager's systems and weapons on the computers or through the crew."

Before the Captain could consider an answer, Ann rose from her seat and walked over to stand by Tuvok. "There is another aspect to my ability to read other's thoughts. When I am in physical contact with that person, eventually they can feel my thoughts as well. Being a Vulcan, you are already telepathic and could probably sense my thoughts immediately." She held out her hands formally, palms up. "I would like the opportunity to prove my good intentions to you."

Tuvok considered this briefly. He turn his head to the Captain and said "With your permission?"

Tuvok stood to look Ann directly in the eyes, she returned his regard calmly. Then he took her hands in his own. Ann's eyes, dark and deep, stayed locked with Tuvok's. They were so totally motionless, Janeway found she was holding her breath and gripping the chair arm in anticipation. It was almost a minute before Tuvok gently released Ann's hands. Ann sighed slightly. Still looking into her eyes, Tuvok said, "I believe Ann holds no immediate threat to Voyager, Captain."

"Excellent," she said. Now he's calling her Ann, thought Janeway, interesting. Perhaps it's time to give her a tour so Tuvok can brief us on the mysterious Ms. Winters. She tapped her com badge. "Mr. Kim, please report to the briefing room."

Harry walked in and stood at easy attention, politely trying not to stare at Ann. The Captain stood to make the introductions. "Ann, this is Ensign Harry Kim, my Operations Officer. Mr. Kim, would you please assign Ann quarters and give her a tour of the ship? She'll be staying with us for a while. Tomorrow, I'd like you and Seven to start working with her in Astrometrics. Ann has offered to share her knowledge of the systems ahead."

"Aye, Captain." Harry said crisply. Turning his head slightly to address Ann, he gestured towards the door "If you'll come with me, Ms. Winters?

They left the room, side by side. Janeway heard, "Please call me Ann, Harry," as the doors glided shut behind them. She smiled.

"Well, Ann certainly is a puzzle," said Chakotay as Janeway sank tiredly back down into her chair. He continued, "I'm sure she will be able to give us valuable tactical information."

"From what I was able to ascertain through our telepathic contact, that is correct, Commander," confirmed Tuvok, sitting down again as well. "However, her path through the galaxy has been erratic. Subsequently, not everything she remembers will be of use to us on our journey home."

"Well, we can sort that all out once we have the information," Janeway said. "What else were you able to discover during your link, Tuvok?"

"I was able to confirm her claims as to her origin on Earth. In order to verify all the details of her life, however, I would have to link with her for much longer. Most importantly, I found no hint of malice behind her seeking asylum on Voyager, only a strong sense of curiosity and loneliness. She is beginning to believe she will never find what she seeks."

While Janeway considered this, Chakotay asked, "Tuvok, do you think, with Ann's abilities, she could help us get home faster?"

"It is unlikely, Commander," answered Tuvok. "She does not travel any faster than this ship does and, as she stated, she is unable or unwilling to subject other living beings to her transformation to the energy state. Ann is also very serious in her statement that she has no desire to be studied although I was unable to determine why. She has consistently run from every race she encountered that insisted on it."

"And we have to respect her wishes," Janeway said with a wistful smile at Chakotay. "No matter how curious we are. One thing that piques my interest, Tuvok, is why you didn't need to mind meld with Ann to read her thoughts."

Ann noticed the sudden darkening of his features and stopped walking. "Is something wrong, Harry?" She looked genuinely concerned as she peered into his face.

He found himself looking away from those sympathetic eyes, dissembling, "Me? Oh, I'm fine... "

"If you say so, Harry." Ann considered him curiously. She glanced down at her boots and clasped her hands deliberately behind her back. She looked at him again, head tipped to one side. "You seem a little tired to me."

"I've had a little insomnia lately," he admitted after a moment, meeting her gaze again. "Nothing to worry about."

They continued down the corridor to Engineering for a brief tour. Harry introduced her to B'Elanna, who was looking rather too harried for visitors. Deciding that discretion was the better part of valor, Harry ushered Ann away to B'Elanna's office to issue her a com badge. Strangely, the badge wouldn't adhere to her jacket. "Maybe I forgot an electron or something when I came out of the energy state" Ann joked.

"I think I have a solution," said Harry. He searched the office until he came up with one of the com badges that had a sturdy manual clasp. "We use these for away missions with particularly challenging environments."

"I suppose it wouldn't do to lose your communication device in a dangerous area," she said, fumbling with the unfamiliar clasp. "Is there a trick to this?"

"Here, let me help you" said Harry, stepping close and taking the badge from her hands.

"It's actually kind of pretty" Ann said, lowering her chin to watch Harry fasten the com badge to her jacket. He could feel her breath on his hands, warm and even. He stifled a ridiculous desire to rest his cheek against her forehead and tried to concentrated on what he was doing. When he finished, Ann raised her face to his and smiled her thanks. The smile made him feel pleasantly warm, like he was sliding into a nice, comfortable bath. Harry knew he was staring at her, half smiling, half sighing, but it didn't matter. There was no reproach in her eyes, only a gentle understanding. Then, over Ann's shoulder, Harry noticed B'Elanna, arms crossed tightly across her chest, giving him a measuring look. Behind her stood Seven of Nine, a PADD dangling forgotten in one hand and her mouth slightly open in surprise. Abruptly aware of how close he was standing to Ann, he could feel his face grow hot. He started to move away self-consciously, but Ann touched his sleeve, stopping him. "I wanted to apologize to you, Harry."

"For staring at you on the bridge," Ann said with a crooked little smile. "I realize that it must seem very strange to have a big sphere of energy fly through your ship and turn into a woman who then stares at you."

"Well, when you put it that way," answered Harry. "I guess it was a little peculiar." He found himself grinning back at her, suddenly forgetting that they were being watched. He couldn't seem to look anywhere but in her eyes.

"It's just that you look like someone I knew on earth," explained Ann more seriously, "and I was a little surprised. Do you forgive me?"

"Consider yourself forgiven, Ann," said Harry, and was rewarded with another, bigger smile. He felt weightless for just a moment. Then he gestured grandly to the door "Shall we continue? I need to show you the Astrometrics lab."

B'Elanna watched the doors glide shut behind Harry and Ann, then turned to Seven of Nine. The former Borg was still staring at the now closed doors with the most peculiar mix of confusion and apprehension on her face. B'Elanna had never seen Seven look quite that perplexed before. With a slightly savage grin, B'Elanna said, "Earth to Seven! I thought you said you had the data I wanted ready."

Seven's mouth snapped shut with an almost audible crack. She seemed to suddenly remember the PADD in her hand. She presented it to B'Elanna as if making a display of her customary Borg efficiency. "Yes, that is correct. This is all of the data currently available that meets your search parameters. I will notify you as more information becomes available. Good Day, Lieutenant."

With that Seven pivoted on her heels and marched from Engineering. B'Elanna sighed and shook her head, annoyed. The last thing she had time for was Borg love triangles. She'd heard about Ann's strange appearance, she wasn't sure she trusted this person who could fly through the hull of her ship. She was especially unsure that she trusted Ann with her friend Harry. On the other hand, she hadn't seen Harry smile quite like that in a while. That may be all the character reference I need, B'Elanna thought. With a uncertain nod of her head, she went back to work.

"So, you're saying she completely reprogrammed the holodeck simply by touching the control panel?" Chakotay sounded dubious, Janeway didn't blame him. It was hard to believe.

"Yes!" Harry said, his voice loud with enthusiasm. "She asked me to show her an example of a holoprogram, so I asked the computer to run Neelix's resort program. She stepped over to the side of the arch and placed her palm against the control panel. After a moment, she said "Oh, I get it" and suddenly the whole scene changed."

"Was it a new scenario or did she access another one from our files?" Janeway asked.

"I checked the computer files, the holoprogram she initiated is completely original. It was generated spontaneously after she touched the controls." Harry said. "It's complex too. There's a long, gravel driveway between rows of apple trees. It leads up a hill to a large, white farm house. The simulation must be set in early spring because the trees are blooming and there are wild daffodils. The ground is soft and wet and the air is cool. It even smells like rain. It's uncanny how accurate this simulation is."

"It sounds lovely," Janeway noted. Harry was curiously animated, normally he was much more reserved around her. His face was still tired and drawn though, she thought. "Does the setting of the simulation have any particular significance, Harry?"

"I believe it does," Harry said. "It's the farm Ann grew up on. It seemed to make her sad."

Harry shook his head. A slight frown creased his smooth forehead. "No, it was more than nostalgia, it was sorrow. I could see it in her face."

"You know her so well already?" Chakotay questioned softly. Janeway could tell he was teasing Harry. The ensign flushed slightly.

"Well, she's very, um . . . " Harry clasped his hands firmly together to keep them from gesturing helplessly, he looked irritated by Chakotay's teasing. The Captain fought the urge to smile. Finally, Harry said emphatically, "She seems very easy to know. Honest, friendly, caring... I don't know how I know, but she was sad."

"She sounds like an interesting woman" said Chakotay, poker face firmly in place.

The man was ruthless, thought Janeway, hiding another smile by taking a sip of coffee. She decided to let Harry off the hook. "Where did you leave Ann?"

"I had already shown Ann her quarters." said Harry, determined to ignore his embarrassment. "So, I took her to the Mess Hall. Ann suggested that helping Neelix with dinner would be a good way for her to meet some of the crew. Of course, Neelix was delighted. When I left, they were deep in conversation about the relative merits of Cajun versus Tex-Mex cooking."

"Well, Harry," the Captain said. "I think we're done here. You're dismissed" She glanced at Chakotay to be sure he was done questioning the ensign. His face was composed but he still had a wicked gleam in his eye from Harry's discomfiture.

As Harry rose and turned to make his escape, she thought of something else. "One more thing, Harry. Did you save the simulation?"

"Yes, Captain, it's program Winters Alpha One" said Harry. With her curt nod, he departed as quickly as possible.

As soon as he left, Chakotay started laughing softly. Janeway pretended to glare at him. "You enjoyed that too much, Chakotay. I should bring you up on charges of cruelty." Then, losing her composure, she started to chuckle as well. His quiet laugh was contagious, and it had been so long since she had heard it. They sat like that for a little while, grinning at each other.

"I know I've been out of sorts." Janeway said quietly, with a sudden sigh. "But, lately, I can't stop wondering how much more heart break and disappointment this crew can take. And how much more I can take for that matter."

"And, I don't know if it's knowing that someone from earth made it all the way out here or if it's finding someone with an even more hopeless quest than ours but, I think finding Ann is a good omen." Janeway laughed again, briefly, then continued more seriously. "We need to be careful, Chakotay. I have a bad feeling about the Brae. I don't think they'll give up Ann so easily."

"I couldn't agree more, I've been having the same feelings myself." Chakotay answered. "And, I believe there is more to Ms. Winters than meets the eye. I think it would behoove us to learn more about our new guest."

"Are you thinking what I am thinking?" Janeway said, wearing her best Mona Lisa smile.

"I think so," said Chakotay. "I have some holodeck time scheduled for tomorrow. Why don't we meet at Ann's farm at 1900 hours?"

Seven surveyed the mess hall with the hope of finding Lieutenant Tuvok. Of all the crew members of Voyager, she found his company the most comfortable. He possessed an almost Borg-like directness and he was rarely disturbed by or critical of her forthright manner. Lately, Seven had begun to realize that it was personal validation that she missed the most. Being a part of the Borg collective meant knowing, absolutely, that everything you did was exactly as it should be. Every thought was the appropriate thought and every action was completely, gloriously, perfect. As much as she had come to cherish her individuality, she missed the uniform acceptance of being part of the collective. Tuvok's company was as close as she could get to that feeling anymore. Unfortunately, he was not present.

At the back of the room, Ensign Kim and Lieutenants Paris and Torres sat together. Ensign Kim caught her eye and gestured to the empty seat across from him. Seven nodded her acknowledgment of his silent invitation before turning to select food from Neelix's kitchen. She felt an inexplicable desire to leave the mess hall entirely. Seeing him earlier, so obviously engaged in a courting ritual with a unfamiliar woman, had confused her greatly. The fact that Lieutenant Torres had noted her reaction and had found it amusing was even less acceptable. I am Borg, she thought resolutely, Ensign Kim's actions and Lieutenant Torres' amusement are irrelevant. Seven deliberately contemplated the food selections for the evening meal.

"What can I get you?" The unfamiliar voice caused Seven to look up from her examination of the food. It was the stranger she had seen with Ensign Kim. The woman continued, gesturing gently to indicate the food before her. "We have a choice of Xian Vegetable Ragout or Terwillian Omelets for the entree."

Before Seven could muster a reply, Neelix darted across the kitchen in his usual flurry of good humor. "Ah Seven! I was hoping you'd show up. This is Ann Winters, our new guest on Voyager. You and Harry will be working with her in Astrometrics starting tomorrow."

"I should have known it was you Seven, Harry told me quite a bit about you and those ocular implants are a dead give away." Ann said with a warm smile as Neelix scurried away to stir something smoking in a large metal pan. "You're just quite a bit different than the other drones I've seen."

"I have no memory of the Borg encountering you. You should have been assimilated." said Seven, disbelief plain in her voice. She could almost hear the Doctor berating her for her bluntness. She clenched her teeth and ignored it.

"It was just a few months ago, possibly after you left the collective." Ann didn't appear to be phased by Seven's abrupt statements. In fact, her smile got bigger. "And it's awfully hard for the Borg to assimilate you when you can deactivate their nanoprobes. Not that it stopped them from trying."

"How did you escape the collective?" Seven persisted. Why would this single human woman be able to defy the Borg?

"I'll tell you some other time, Seven. Right now, you're holding up the chow line." Ann handed her a tray of the Vegetable Ragout and shooed Seven away with a good-natured flip of her hand. Ann twisted around to shout, "Neelix, we're running low on omelets!"

Seven would have resumed questioning Ann but, the crew member in line behind her stepped between them. She turned away, still uncertain, to find Ensign Kim staring past her at Ann. This made her even more uncomfortable. Seven's discomfort turned to anger that she would have such an illogical reaction. Seven strode rapidly to his table and seated herself across from him.

"Good Evening, Ensign, Lieutenants." Seven said as cordially as she could given her agitation.

"Hello, Seven." Harry replied, while Tom and B'Elanna also murmured greetings. "I see you tried the vegetables, they're quite good. Neelix is getting better with alpha quadrant quisine."

"I see," Seven said. Then, bereft of any idea of what to say next, she picked up a fork and concentrated on cutting a potato into bite size pieces.

The table fell into a sudden silence. Harry and B'Elanna exchanged tired glances. Tom inhaled and pursed his lips as if he might start whistling to break the silence, a look from B'Elanna made him reconsider. Finally, Harry relented and said, "So, Seven, did I hear Neelix tell you we'll be working with Ann tomorrow? We're supposed to pick her brains to find out everything we can about the star systems ahead."

"Neelix did state that we would be working together. However, he did not state what our task would be." Seven picked up a piece of potato, brought it half way to her mouth, and then put it back down abruptly. She started cutting up a piece of carrot.

"Seven, is something wrong?" Harry said, concern evident on his face. "I've never seen you play with your food before."

Seven looked up from her now pulverized carrot. "I am functioning normally, Ensign," she said. "I do not see why you would be concerned with my behavior when your own is flawed."

"What is that supposed to mean, Seven?" Harry looked startled at the sudden attack.

"You are engaging in courtship rituals with Ann Winters, a person you met less than a few hours ago. Considering the recent experience Voyager has had with aliens offering their friendship, this conduct is ill advised." Seven said, her normally low voice dropping even lower with the force of her statement. A small part of her wondered why she was even discussing such an irrelevant matter.

"She's not an alien..." Harry started somewhat heatedly, but then grimaced and continued quietly. "Listen, Seven. I don't have to explain my actions to you. And I don't have to listen to any more of your disparaging remarks about human relations either. You shouldn't be talking about things you can't understand." He shook his head as if to clear the spark of anger in his eyes and stood quickly, food tray in one hand. "Tom, B'Elanna, I'll see you guys later."

Seven sat, her face blank with shock, as Ensign Kim left the table. She turned to watch him walk up to the kitchen to talk to Ann. He smiled at something she said. Then, with a nod to Neelix and another smile at Ann, he disposed of his food tray and walked calmly out of the mess hall. Seven became suddenly aware of the two Lieutenants staring at her as she turned back to the table.

Lieutenant Paris opened his mouth as if to say something, then looked down at his food, an embarrassed blush rising on his pale skin. Lieutenant Torres regarded her more evenly, but Seven could not interpret the expression in those fathomless brown eyes. Borg stoicism aside, Seven no longer found her presence in the mess hall acceptable. She put down her fork and said in a small voice, "I do not require nutrition at this time."

Tom and B'Elanna watched Seven stand and walk stiffly away, leaving her uneaten food on the table. They shared a long glance. Finally, Tom sighed and spoke in falsely bright tones, "So, how was your day, honey?"

B'Elanna reached out and gripped his hand sympathetically across the table, "Same old, same old."

"No!" Harry Kim woke up with a shout. He lunged upright into a sitting position, heart thundering in his chest and pounding in his ears. His breath came in huge, ragged gasps, almost like sobs. Harry swung his legs over the side of his bed, on the verge of running from the room. His mind was still swimming with images from his disturbing dreams. Suddenly, realizing where he was, he buried his head in his shaking hands. "I'm going crazy," Harry groaned. He looked at the clock, it was 0100. He'd only managed to sleep for about two hours before the dreams woke him up.

There had been few nights without a dream lately. Each dream was different, yet somehow they all seemed the same. I don't understand, thought Harry, why is this happening to me? His friends, his family now really, were dying one by one. They were slipping away, taking little pieces of him with them. That small part of himself, the part that said his best wasn't good enough, wasn't sure how many more people he could stand to lose. Almost every night his dreams reminded him of that fact. Every day he could feel himself turning his focus further inward, pulling away from his friends and crew mates as if he could save them by not caring about them.

He felt more like crawling over to the sink but he made himself walk. Walk, he insisted to his trembling body, walk like a man. Harry turned on the water, contemplating the smooth flow of it over his hands. He couldn't bring himself to look in the mirror. Finally, he slowly lowered his whole head under the faucet. The cool water caressed his neck and twined through his hair. Gradually it soothed the sweat and tears from his face.

As short time later, Harry found himself outside the mess hall. His hair was still damp against his neck and he was dressed only in the soft shorts and shirt he slept in. Maybe a snack, he thought absently, though he wasn't really hungry. The doors glided quietly shut behind him as he entered the darkened mess hall. "Computer, lights at 50 percent," Harry said softly. He heard a small noise behind him and spun around.

"Hello, Harry." It was Ann. Wishing he'd put something else on, he gave her a smile and crossed the room to where she sat by the viewing portal. Ann was wrapped in what he recognized as the bedspread from her quarters, nothing visible but her head and bare toes peaking out from where she had drawn her feet up beneath her. She'd let her hair loose and it made an unruly cloud around her head. Ann regarded him with a wistful smile on her face, "Still having trouble sleeping?"

"I always have trouble sleeping in unfamiliar places. It's kind of inconvenient given the way I live," she admitted, grimacing. "I never slept very much anyway."

The sat for a few moments in companionable silence, Harry watched the stars streak by but he wasn't really registering what he saw. He'd been eager to see Ann again at dinner time, but hadn't really got to talk to her much. She'd been busy helping Neelix serve the food and talking to all the crew members who introduced themselves to her. Pretty much everyone wanted to meet the new passenger on Voyager, Harry couldn't blame them. When he came to dinner with Tom and B'Elanna, he had deliberately taken a seat where he could watch her. She laughed a lot, he had noted. Every so often her eyes would seek him out and they'd share a smile like it was a secret.

His confrontation with Seven had spoiled the warm, comfortable feeling of rapport he had been experiencing up to that point. He couldn't understand her constant criticism of his behavior. Seven had always made it clear that she thought herself superior to him, he could accept that she felt that way. But, he really hated it when she reviled him in front of the other crew members. I didn't help that everyone else on the crew thought he was in love with her, it just made him look that much more foolish. The real problem was that he did care what Seven thought of him, he wasn't sure why. I guess I am a fool, he thought, bitterness twisting through his stomach.

With a small sigh, he turned from the viewport to contemplate Ann's profile. She'd been here less than a day but Harry felt he could tell her anything and she would understand. Maybe Seven is right, he thought, it is strange that I feel this way so suddenly. None the less, Harry felt a strong urge to confide his dreams to her. He just wasn't sure where to start. He tried the first few words out slowly, "I've been having these dreams... "

"I think I could help you with them, Harry." Ann said gently. She turned to meet his gaze. "But, you'd have to trust me and maybe you don't know me well enough yet."

"I trust you," Harry said, surprising himself at how confident he felt. "I just don't know what to tell you. I can't explain this to myself, let alone anyone else."

"Well, that's the beauty of my plan." Ann explained with a half smile. "No words are necessary."

"Probably it would be easier if I showed you. It has to do with my ability to read thoughts." Ann said. "The Captain told you about that, right?" When he nodded, she continued, "We should probably go to your quarters." She stood and stretched luxuriously, the blanket trailing from her outstretched arms like wings.

"My quarters?" Harry said a little nervously. What was she suggesting, he thought, his heart racing unevenly.

"Yes, your quarters." Ann smiled gently down at him. She wrapped the blanket around her again like a cloak. "You don't want to wake up here in the mess hall do you?"

"I guess not," Harry said. She's not making a pass at you, he chided himself, she's only being nice. He stood and offered an arm. "Shall we go?"

They walked silently, arm in arm down the corridor. Voyager was quiet at this hour and they met no one in the halls to question their being together. Harry was still nervous. He'd been in the company of telepaths before, most Star Fleet officers had. He just had never been directly scrutinized by one before. He trusted her not to laugh at him, but, he was still worried at what she might think of his feelings. Ann looked at him and smiled reassuringly, as if already reading his thoughts. "Don't worry Harry, I'm very discrete."

"I trust you." Harry repeated, almost to himself. They had arrived at his quarters, the doors opened silently to admit them. He made a weak gesture with one arm. "Here it is, home sweet home."

"It's very nice." Ann released his arm to slowly survey his quarters. When she spied his bed, she said, "I think you should lie down first."

"Okay," Harry said but, he just stood there, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. After a moment, he admitted, "I feel a little silly. Like I'm a child and you're here to tuck me in or check for monsters or something."

"Oh, Harry." Ann said with a sigh. "You can rest assured that I don't consider you a child and I have no desire to be your mother." She paused briefly then said more lightly, "Now lie down, young man!"

"Yes, Ma'am!" He teased in return, secretly relieved at her reply. She mocked a swat at him and he jumped toward the bed. As he lay down and pulled the blanket up to his chest, Ann sat on the floor near his head.

"It works best if I'm touching your skin." She folded one arm onto the bed and rested her chin on the back of her fist. With her other hand she reached up and gently smoothed the hair from his forehead. She inhaled sharply. Suddenly anxious, Harry stared into her eyes, a question poised on his lips.

"Hush... " Ann whispered soothingly. "I want you to concentrate on your dreams."

It seemed easier, somehow, to contemplate those horrible dreams with his eyes open. With her warm, reassuring gaze locked in his own, it didn't seem so close. Harry could feel a slightly electric tingle where her cool palm touched his forehead. The sensation was soothing and stimulating at the same time. He could almost see his thoughts reflected in her dark eyes; Seven standing cold and tall with a sword, Tom regarding him with solemn eyes from beneath the rim of an ancient army helmet. Slowly, the thoughts in her eyes expanded to fill his vision. Harry's mind began to pace through the events of the last four years, but at a distance, as if he were an observer of his own history. The memories began to come faster. Eventually they were a torrent, rushing by too fast for him to contemplate individual events. He felt as if he were standing in a waterfall, his life rushing over him in a continuous liquid stream. And then he was the waterfall, tumbling end over end in a heady cascade through blue skies.

Eventually, he became aware of his toes. Soon he felt his feet and ankles too, but he was puzzled by such mundane sensations. Waterfalls don't have toes, he thought, why should I care if they're cold? Naming the sensation of cold brought him suddenly to life. He realized he was lying by a stream with his feet dangling in the icy water.

He sat up slowly and looked around but, he couldn't see past the tall grass and bull rushes that lined the small stream. A swarm of lazy bugs caught the golden light of a summer sun. He felt a trickle of sweat on the back of his neck and pushed his bare legs a little farther into the cold stream.

"So, this is Lake Tahoe?" He heard a rustle and turned to see the tall grass parting. Ann appeared, looking hot and sweaty, and plopped down on the river bank beside him. She dipped her feet into the stream with a contented sigh. "I thought it was supposed to be cool up here in the mountains."

"The lake is over that way," Harry said, lifting his chin in the general direction. His eyes followed a dead leaf as it floated downstream to the lake, tangling briefly in the grasses. He reached out and took her hand, it was warm and a little damp from the summer heat. "It's hot here in the summer, but the nights are cold."

"Shouldn't you go back to the party?" Ann said. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze and then released it. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply through her nose. "I think Neelix must have started the barbecue."

"It's awfully nice here." Harry recaptured her hand. She sighed but let him keep it. He knew everyone else was down at the beach. If he strained his ears, he could just hear the sounds of the party; beach music, laughter, shouting, and the unmistakable slap of somebody serving a volleyball. It was tempting, but he felt better here.

He twisted around and lay back so that his head was in her lap. Harry looked up at her calm face framed by the long grass and blue sky. He didn't want to go. Giving her his most winsome smile, he asked, "Why can't I just stay here with you?"

"Because you don't belong with me, silly." Ann said, bending her face down to him and touching his nose with her index finger for emphasis. She smoothed his hair back from his forehead. "Your friends need you. They need all of you, your whole heart. Now, it's time for you to go. Back. To. The. Party."

Harry groaned in protest as she grabbed his shoulders and pushed him up off her lap. He stood reluctantly and watched her turn and start up the steep stream bank. His legs felt strangely paralyzed, tears welled up in his eyes from this unexpected frustration. When she realized he wasn't following, she turned back to look at him. Her questioning smile faded when she say the sudden brightness in his eyes. Ann held her hand out to him. "Let me help you up, Harry."

Harry felt himself gasping for air as he struggled to take her hand. Her strong fingers closed around his palm and pulled him up the slope. His feet moved reluctantly at first, then more confidently. Ann kept his hand firmly in her own as she led him downstream through the meadow. He followed her docilely into the grove of solemn pine and quivering birch trees that bordered the beach. But, as the party came into view, the newfound confidence faded and he began to resist her gentle tugs. She whispered encouragingly, "You're almost there, Harry."

"I can't go back there, Ann." Harry said, his chest felt tight with something close to panic. He came to a stop at the edge of the beach.

"Of course you can, they need you and you need them." Ann said with a kind smile. She gestured with her free hand. "All your friends are here, waiting for you. Don't you see them?"

"Well, yes," he admitted. Harry turned his head reluctantly to regard his friends. "There's the Captain, Chakotay, Tom, B'Elanna. Hey! It's Kaplan and Hogan! I thought they were- "

Harry's voice broke off suddenly and he looked down at the ground. She ducked her head to force him to look her in the eye. "Yes, they're dead, Harry. But, they're not gone. Not while you still keep them here." Ann placed her palm over his heart. Pulling him closer, she kissed him briefly, chastely. Harry closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers. He heard her say, "Go to them Harry, they love you."

Her voice faded away with the feel of her face against his. When he opened his eyes again, Tom called for him to join the volleyball game. "Harry! I need you, B'Elanna's team is killing mine!"

Harry grinned and trotted obediently down to the game. He felt inexplicably light. As he passed the picnic table, Seven of Nine flashed him one of her rare smiles. "Ensign, I am glad you are here."

By his bedside, Ann contemplated the sleeping Harry Kim. "Sweet dreams, Harry," she whispered, eyes lingering on the golden curves of his face. She allowed herself to stroke his hair back and place a quick kiss on his forehead. Then, with unsteady fingers, she wiped the tears from her face and left his quarters.

End of Part I; The Unexpected Soul

Go read Part II!

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