How Do You Tell a Friend You're Sorry... Again? by realstone 1999©

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Derek looked over at Alex once again to make sure she was all right. And though he'd never admit it to anyone else, it as to make sure that she was no longer a danger. He and Nick had had enough.

Alex stared back at him, dazed, a slight tinge of blood -- Nick's blood -- at the corner of her mouth.

Nick too watched Alex and couldn't help the thought; she did it to me again. He watched as she wiped his blood from her lips and he gripped Derek's arm, an unconscious signal that he wanted to get up. He needed space away -- not away from Alex, just away from this room. Derek recognized the unspoken request and stood, slowly pulling Nick upward with him. Nick's legs trembled as he put his weight on them. The trembling traveled upward until his whole body moved without conscious effort.

"I'm taking you to the hospital," Derek pulled him closer.

"No. I'll be OK. I just want to sleep for a while."

Derek looked at the wound on Nick's neck. Nick self-consciously lifted his hand from its grip on Derek's shoulder to touch cautiously at his throat. The skin felt tender and warm. He hesitated before looking at his fingertips, smiling with relief when he saw they were not covered in blood "I'm not even bleeding."

Derek shook his head at Nick's attempt. " I'll take you to your room, and then I'm going to call Rachel. If she says you need hospitalization, you'll go. No argument." Derek looked over at Alex. "I'll see to Nick and return as soon as I can."

Alex's eyes followed the two men, but her mind remained captured by the horror of what she had almost become. She was tempted to run her tongue across her eyeteeth, just to verify physically that she was normal again. Instead she forced herself to sit there immobile as Nick and Derek walked across the room and through the doorway. It wasn't until Derek's fingertips moved across the door jam that her self-imposed control broke. She looked around her room, purposely avoiding the remains of Marcus. A pile of smoking ash and cloth. She was alone, always alone. Finally, unable to resist she watched the trails of smoke rise upward from what was left of the master vampire.

The room suddenly became smaller, the colors about her dull and dismal. Even the sunlight and fresh air filling the room from the balcony door did nothing to dispel the ugliness she felt for herself. She'd hurt Nick again. She'd lost who she was again. She'd betrayed Derek's trust in her again. Tears of frustration burned at the corners of her eyes. Suddenly, she was made aware of her other senses. The odor of decayed flesh filled her nose, the coppery taste of Nick's blood coating her tongue and throat. She was suddenly cold and she rubbed her hands up and down her arms. Her skin felt leathery and dry against the soft material of her blouse. Her stomach churned angrily refusing to hold the unwanted contents, causing her to rush to the adjourning bathroom. Alex's stomach muscles cramped painfully, forcing the coppery tasting bile into her throat. The spasm passed and her muscles relaxed slowly, only to tighten again forcing the next wave upward. After several minutes, her stomach quieted. Still she felt the need to rid herself of Nick's blood, so she placed two fingers down her throat until her stomach began the cycle again.

- - - - - - - - -

Nick stretched out wearily on his bed, his body shivering even though he wore a jersey, tee shirt and sweats. Derek pulled the quilt at the end of the bed over Nick. As Nick settled, Derek sat in a chair near his beside, staring at the floor. His mind replayed the past 12 hours. He picked apart each action he, Nick and Alex had made. His posture straightened, becoming rigid as he acknowledged his errors in letting Nick go downstairs alone. In sending Alex out into the night, without knowing who their enemy was. In depending upon the island's security as their mainline of defense.

He had faced the error, his thoughts turning to who or what would be the next chink in their armor? More importantly was the threat to Alex finally over? He should not have accepted the outward signs that she was okay after the incident with Phillipe.

"This will never happen again," Derek said aloud.

Nick opened his eyes at the sound of Derek's voice. "Hope you're not expecting the full fee for baby-sitting."

Derek smiled, pleased that Nick's voice sounded stronger. "Rachel is on her way. How do you feel?"

"My throat is sore, my body aches and I'm thinking of adding 'Acting Pin Cushion' to my resume."

Derek leaned forward. His fingertips moved gently across Nick's forehead. "You feel cooler. You stopped shivering several minutes ago."

Nick pushed himself up higher in the bed, "how's Alex?"

"I don't know."

"Go check on her."

- - - - - - - - -

The sound of gagging could be heard from where he stood in the hallway. Rushing into the bathroom, he stopped just inside, hurt by the sight before him. Kneeling beside her, Derek pulled back Alex's hair to see her face. Anger and frustration surged through him -- at Alex, at himself as he pulled her hand away from her mouth. "Stop, punishing yourself this way won't help."

Derek had little trouble helping her to her feet. Carefully he slid his arm across her arms at elbow level to make sure that she did not try to gag herself again. He flushed the toilet then led her to the sink. Derek washed her hands as if she was a young child. They stood side by side, sharing the bar of soap. He spoke quietly about anything but what had happened. The soap moved over and between the two pairs of hands, washing away anger from one mind, desperation from another.

Derek glanced into the mirror willing Alex to look up at him. She refused keeping her head bowed her body motionless, except for the simple act of rubbing her hand together under the running water. Derek stared at his reflection then at the hands held in his own and he realized that for the past year he had willingly not seen the whole Alex. He had ignored the part of her nature that was vulnerable and alone. Instead he had fostered the aspect that was strong of will, capable. It had left her divided, a target.

Derek wet a clean face towel and gently wiped her face. At his tenderness, Alex began to weep deep sobs that tore at his heart. "I'm tired, Derek. So tired." He held her tightly, his chin resting against the top of her head. He rocked her gently ignoring the warm tears soaking into his shirt.

Rachel hurrying down the hallway towards Nick's room stopped and watched as Derek walked Alex toward her bed. When Alex realized where Derek was heading, she pulled away. "No!"

"Alex, you need to rest."

"No, not in here."

"Take her to my room. I'll check on her as soon as I'm through with Nick." Derek looking over Alex's shoulder to Rachel smiled his thanks.

- - - - - - - - -

Rachel knocked on Nick's door and went in at his "om..." Placing her bag on the dresser she waited as he slowly emerged from under the quilt. She watched him for several moments more, satisfied that his breathing and color was close to normal.

Nick opened his eyes slowly. "Hi, Rach."

"Hi, man of steel." She thumbed the digital thermometer and placed it inside his ear. The thermometer beeped several times and Nick grabbed it reading the indicator. "No fever. One point for the good guys," he said, handing it to her. Rachel glanced at the thermometer, reading it for herself.

She turned his head and her fingers gently probed the purplish colored flesh around the two punctures in his neck. No blood flowed, but several drops welled up at the top of each puncture. Nick hissed through his clenched teeth.

"Tenderness, but no bleeding. Two points for the good guys." Rachel swabbed the area with peroxide. She smiled as Nick fanned at his neck while she prepared a large Band-Aid to cover the bite.

"Does Dr. Nick have a comment?"

"You're enjoying this."

As Rachel unrolled a blood pressure cuff, Nick sighed in such a put upon gesture that she couldn't help but smile. Vitals recorded, Rachel took off her stethoscope and placed it in the bag with the rest of her instruments. "Your blood pressure is a little low, but not in a dangerous region. With rest and fluids, it should return to normal. Your lungs are clear; the tenderness around the punctures should disappear in a few days." She paused to make sure he was listening.

"If you promise that you'll stay in bed and rest for the next 48 hours. I'll tell Derek you can stay at home."

Nick settling underneath the covers, "agreed."

"Good. I'm going to check on Alex." She leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Before I leave, I'll check on you again."

"Okay."

- - - - - - - - -

Before entering her room Rachel took several deep breaths, letting her mind shift from general practitioner to psychiatrist. A few steps into the room and the transformation was complete. Rachel, friend and willing ear stood next to Derek, her hand resting lightly against his back. Alex lay on her side her body curled around a pillow. Derek backed from the bed, allowing Rachel to move closer.

Alex looked up at Rachel, her face ashen. Her eyes bloodshot from crying. "How is Nick?"

"He's going to be fine. His blood pressure is low, nothing that some fluids and a few days' rest won't cure."

"Good." The relief in Derek's voice was obvious to both women." If you need me, I'll be downstairs in my office."

Rachel sat on the edge of the bed. She held Alex's hand in hers, "let's talk."

- - - - - - - - -

Nick turned over to slap at his alarm clock and realized with some embarrassment that the annoying sound was coming from the phone. "Hello."

"Nick, this is Alex. Would you meet me in the kitchen?"

Nick looked over at the clock. The large green numbers read 3:30 a.m.

"Why?"

"Neutral ground."

"Is something wrong?"

"No."

There was a long pause.

Nick knew that Alex had wanted to discuss what had happen, but the past week had been hectic and they'd both been unable to deal with unresolved issues.

"I'll be there in 10 minutes."

- - - - - - - - -

Nick found Alex standing at the kitchen window, her forehead pressed against the glass. Each breath making a fragile crystal shape that rapidly disappeared leaving a faint shadow that was replaced at her next breath. Nick walked across the room until he was standing next to her.

" I seem to keep making the same mistake. I never intended to hurt you."

"I know. We all misjudged the situation." Nick his arm around her waist. He reached forward and drew a smiley face on the glass. Underneath the slightly lopsided figure he wrote, "I Understand."

"Alex."

"Yes."

"You now owe me two really, really nice presents."

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