For the Last Time by realstone 2000©

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Alex pushed aside the multi-colored britches quilt and sat up. Her body sagged under the growing sense of unknown that kept her staring at the clock on the nightstand for the past three hours. She could hear the click, click, click as the long hand on the clock slowly crawled its way from second to second. Alex sighed as she willed her fingertips to ungrip the edge of the mattress. She waited, waited for that something that was happening or was about to happen. The feeling of not knowing rode her chest keeping her from sleeping. What is it? Alex asked again. The waiting caused her stomach to churn adding to her discomfort. She stood up suddenly, her body demanding some action, that she do something. Do what? She almost spoke aloud.

Slipping her arms into her robe Alex walked toward her bedroom door several times determined to wake Derek and seek his counsel, his insight. As precept of the San Francisco Legacy house and her friend, she has learned to trust his judgment and psychic gifts that were a match to her own. Making to the door she began to argue the pros and cons. Derek won't mind if I wake him. She stood in the silent hallway the doorknob poking her in the back. You know it's not fair to wake him, especially when you're not even sure what's wrong.

Alex stepped back inside, softly closed the door and sat on the edge of the bed again.

Alex pulled on a loose fitting sweat shirt and pair of jeans and headed for one of her favorite places on the grounds. She hadn't worked in the gardens for months because of one thing or another and it didn't matter that it was 2 a.m. The old ones said that a garden worked in the moonlight would 'bloom past one's delight.'

Alex worked hard, determined to ignore the urge pulling her back to the house and calling...calling who? "This is ridiculous," she mumbled aloud in the soft night air. Concentrating once more she clipped away damaged branches from a rather stubborn Jasmine shrub with which she had an on-going love/hate relationship. Tonight she was determined that it would submit.

All the time she ruthlessly pulled and clipped she unconsciously searched for the reason for her discomfort. She hadn't forgotten any monthly reports, she'd answered all formal request for research from other Legacy houses and even managed to answer a few informal ones from various Internet friends. Their caseload was unusually quiet. If the persistent feeling wasn't professional maybe it was personal. She recalled talking to several friends and extended family earlier in the month and all were doing fine. Alex looked up at the impressive battlements and massive brick structure still seeking an answer to her unease. Her immediate family circle was safely asleep within the walls of the castle. Derek, Nick, Kat and Rachel, people she has made her own. Kat had talked her mother into staying on the island for the three-day weekend. Though she did not say so, Alex felt Rachel had stayed more for her benefit than Kat. Several times she had caught Rachel watching her, waiting for her to talk.

Alex's thoughts flowed at their own pace as she shifted a pot of morning glories. Memories of her last conversation with Tanya earlier in the week rose for replay. Tanya had sounded cheerful and on the mend. Their run-in with Daniel Ureure a practicing sorcerer had left new scars but helped to heal old ones. It had taken months, a lot of self-introspection and strength, but Tanya was becoming whole once again. Alex smiled with pride that Tanya seemed to have found her path in this world. Grandma Rose had often said that Tanya was a wanderer and it took them time to settle down, to find out where they fit. Tanya had surprised her by saying she would be staying with Rose until her plans were finalized.

"Grandma Rose?" The sound of her grandmother's name in the still night didn't bring with it the joy that usually surrounded it. Now that she had spoken, Alex knew from where the feelings of trepidation were coming. With each step toward the house, with each breath her level of anxiety increased.

Alex's focus slowly narrowed, like a spot light highlighting the actor standing center stage, until all she could see was the kitchen door and a phone held tightly in her hand. Slowly the light widen to contain a smiling Rose who tapped the plastic case of the phone that Alex held. "Aucun besoin pour que maintenant enfant, soit venu asseoir avec moi pour une'pelle." Rose said tapping the case again. Alex translated the words, "No need for that now child, come sit with me for a spell." Letting go of the phone Alex grabbed onto Rose's hand and followed her through the door. Alex sat waiting, watching as Rose moved around the spacious room as if it were her kitchen back home. As Rose moved about she would touch Alex in some way; a smile, a gently caress on her cheek, a slight squeeze of her shoulder, a kiss on her temple. Alex wallowed in the warm love pouring from her grandmother, and Alex waited. After a time Rose stopped puttering around the kitchen and sat with Alex at the table. Holding Alex's hand in her own, she rubbed the back of it. "I am so proud of you and Tanya." Alex flinched under Rose's close scrutiny, but she held her glance searching the face before her. There were new lines around the mouth, the skin a little tighter and drier under the eyes. Alex frowned, it has been a while since she'd seen her grandmother, but she didn't remember her aging this much. How could she have missed this much of a change?

"You both have achieved so much, done so much good."

Rose sighed heavily as she patted Alex's hand and laid it on the table. "I expect you be good to yourself Alexandra and remember I will love you always."

"Always." Alex echoed as the last of the sight evaporated, leaving her drained and lonely. Tears rolled down her face as she listened to the phone ring deep within the house.

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Waves of feeling reached out to her even before their physical presence entered the room. Anxiety, love, grief, and with them came Rose's image. She wore a smile that lighted her from within. The twinkle in her eyes the only outward hint of her wicked humor. "We will love you always." Alex's arms reached out, but she dropped them to her side as Rose's presence dissolved away replaced by Nick who strode into the kitchen a step ahead of Derek and Rachel.

Derek felt the last of Rose's presence ebb away. He stepped around Nick to kneel in front of Alex. He had been awaken by his private phone's persistent ringing and answered to Tanya's quiet tones. Putting her on hold he went to Alex's room and found it empty. Waking Nick and Rachel, Derek gave a hasty explanation and after searching the house they'd all ended up in the kitchen.

Alex stared at the reflection of the phone in the tiles until it was replaced by Rose's smile. She sat facing the window, hands clutching the edge of the seat between her legs. Derek moved closer until his forehead touched hers, the phone held in his hand resting upon her thigh. Nick straddled a chair behind her, his hands resting on her shoulders.

"It's Tanya." Derek said taking her hand in his.

Rachel stood at the kitchen island watching the trio. The three had so much history between them that sometimes at the weirdest times she felt like the proverbial outsider. Tonight as she watched them the thought tried to form but she quickly dispelled it and started the pot of tea she knew they would all need before the last of the night was over.

A deep sigh rose from Alex as her hand touched the phone and tears began to flow unchecked and silent as she listened to her sister tell of their grandmother's death. Derek squeezed tighter as the hand holding his began to tremble and a sob broke Alex's imposed self-control. Taking the phone from her, Derek stood, moving several steps. He assured Tanya that whatever she and Alex need would be done. As Derek moved away Nick moved closer wrapping both arms around her. He nodded in agreement as Derek told Tanya they would be in New Orleans by mid-afternoon.

Rachel took a deep breath looking away as Alex's grief raised memories of her own lost. A long two years had past since her husband and son's death in a seemingly random accident, after becoming a part of the Legacy she had learned that there were few if any random event s in this world and that with time and strength one could endure. Alex was a strong person but this year had been a rough one on them all. So much had happened to deplete Alex emotionally and this could break her without their support. Tears welled up at the back of her throat as she worked to put her feelings into perspective and looked once more to her friends.

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"Thanks Rachel." Derek said placing the headphones back in their rest. He felt a little guilty about talking about Alex behind her back, he didn't want her to think she could not be trusted and having her hear him talk to Rachel about her emotional well being it might seem that way.

Nick watched as Alex continued to stare out the window. Catching Derek's eye as he entered the cabin he motioned to where Alex sat.

Alex watched a bank of clouds thin below the plane, framing a picture view of the land below only to disappear as the clouds thicken. Her attention shifted to the thin volume held tightly in her hand. That hand began to tremble at the thought of going home and the pain ahead.

"Rachel sends her love. What's this?" Derek asked as he folded himself into the seat across from her. Taking the book from her, he opened it to the pages marked by a ribbon. His deep tones carried easily over the drone of the engines. Words she had not heard for years began to soothe her frayed nerves.

Derek closed the book and held it out to her. Alex's smile a mixture of sadness and remembrance of better times took the book holding it close. "Rose gave this journal to my mother shortly after I was born. My father gave it to me after her funeral. A Moreau right of passage. My mother would have given one to me for my daughter." A ragged sigh escaped Alex as her face turned toward the window effectively shutting herself off. Derek looked over at Nick feeling at a loss. Both were acquainted with death, either of a family member or those they'd met on various cases as members of the Legacy. Life in the Legacy forced upon them the reality of death in all its aspects. Though many confess to believe in the hereafter, most only give lip service at the reality that demons, ghosts or the devil truly exists. The Legacy since the beginning of time has consisted of those with and without psychic abilities, those dedicated to protecting mankind. Legacy members know that death is not always the end to man's cruelty or fear, but with the help of those that care the natural passing from one form to another. Derek had lost his father and almost his sister, Nick had lost both father and brother to the evil. Derek looked at Alex believing that she would survive this blow as she had others.

The phone near Derek’s seat buzzed. "Dr. Rayne?"

"Yes."

"We'll be landing in 45 minutes."

"Thanks, Phillip we'll be ready." The pilot's announcement caused a deep sigh from all of them.

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Tears clouded Tanya's eyes as she watched Alex walk up the ramp toward her. She could not help thinking that Alex reminded her of Rose. Not in looks but in the way she held her head and hands and that easy smile that reached her eyes and with the reminder came the crushing realization that they were now alone. Holding Alex tightly, Tanya found herself repeating the words she'd carried for the past 10 hours. "She's gone Alex, she's gone."

The two sisters held each other. People walked around them, some smiled thinking the two women represented a long awaited reunion. Others glanced back a second time thinking what attractive women they were. Only a few noticed the tears and sadness marking the women's faces. Derek and Nick stepped forward almost in unison after allowing Tanya and Alex some privacy. Both knew that the hardest part was still to be faced before either sister could move on with their lives.

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Unconsciously Alex's fingers began to drum on the back of the pew. Shifting in her seat she closed her eyes as another kind soul stood to give tribute to Rose's unselfish love and community service, but all that Alex could hear, was the slow ticking of her wrist watch. Time, so much time is being taken away from us. I've haven't spent enough time with her. Soon she will be gone and we'll be left with nothing but dying flowers and newly turned dirt. Alex's fingers moved faster, they're going to keep on talking until I start...

Tanya could feel the tension building in Alex and she grasped her hand, holding it against her shoulder. "I wish they'd hurry up." She whispered in Alex's ear. It reminded Alex of when they were little and held whispered marathon conversations in church. Tanya's confirmation of her own feelings helped Alex regained her composure. Once she could see past her own grief Alex saw that others also had a claim to her grandmother's life, and that it was right and fair that they be allowed to express their feelings about Lady Rose. The remainder of the service was simple but heart-felt. Music from the community choir carried them through the viewing and outside into the warm sunshine.

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Derek watched Alex as she moved among the crowd of visitors and friends, shaking hands and kissing cheeks, while she held the same plate of food that some kind soul had handed her just after they'd arrived back at the house. He watched as she took a bite or two when someone pressed her about keeping up her strength. He watched remembering how much strength it took to think of others, to not break down, to not be totally absorbed in grief. No one would blame her or expect something different, other than Alex herself.

Tanya also watched Alex. They were being uprooted by Rose's death and even though she was the oldest, Tanya knew Alex would feel it her duty to lend, no give her strength to Tanya. Deep inside she cringed knowing that at one time she would have expected Alex to stand for her. But no more. Tanya smiled strengthen by the knowledge that she had her own inner strength and that now she could give to Alex.

Alex was slipping the plate of cold food among a stack of used dishes when she felt eyes on her. She turned to find Tanya watching and gave her a quick conspiracy wink. Both smiles met and grew, bonding each more firmly. She broke eye contact with Tanya as they was surrounded by several visitors expressing their sympathy with more 'she'll be greatly missed' and 'she was such a blessing.' Tanya watched the weariness growing in Alex's face and knew that Alex had reached her limit. Quietly she enlisted Nick's help in tactfully herding everyone towards the front door.

Alex smiling her thanks to Tanya pulled a sweater from the front closet and walked outside, sitting on the top step of the back porch. She pulled her knees close to her chest and rested her head against them. Watched the growing shadows of the trees and flowers in the waning sunlight, Alex closed her eyes and felt the coldness of grief fill her. Then she felt warmth surround her. She turned her head to find Rose setting beside her. Understanding shone in her eyes as she gently chided her granddaughter. "Let me go Alexandra. You know how, let me go."

Alex closed her eyes as Rose gently stroked her arm, the touch feather light, was replaced by a different one. Still light, warm, but more concrete, weighed in reality. "Tanya's inside with the few stragglers, Nick didn't have the courage to throw out." Derek said as he continued the caress. Nick grunted from the doorway.

"I can't feel her anymore, she's gone." Alex's tone announced a finality her heart was starting to believe.

Derek looked back at Nick. "Only the part we can't control, Alex. Only the part we can't control."

Alex's hand grabbed Derek's knee as she began to shake. A beautiful smile lit her face and a deep chuckle reached both him and Nick. "That's so lame, Derek Rayne, so totally lame." Alex said in her best California girl accent.

Their laughter on the wind, a sweet sound to one watching unseen, now, ever vigilant.

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