Precious Friend by realstone2003©

& & &

Marissa, will be so happy for the guys, thought Gary as he entered McGinty's, eager to tell her about the Colts three games to one win over the Bluejays. His memory skipped backward four months to when the neighborhood basketball league's president had cornered him about volunteering to coach a community team. The Colt's regular coach had to resign because his job had transferred him to another state. Gary had agreed only after a lot of encouragement by the team's parents, the league president and the clincher had been Marissa. His friend, and partner in McGinty's, had in her usual quiet way helped him to see that coaching the team would help him far more than it would the children. She had been right. It was one of the few every day things he did in his world of the non-normal.

Gary stopped at the bar to survey the room for Marissa’s presence. The evening dinner crowd was still light. He smiled at the couple sitting at the bar, cheek to cheek. Along the north wall several tables had been pushed together for a group of lively executive types. She's probably in the office. Gary looked for her shadow behind the frosted glass. When he didn't see any movement, he headed toward the stairs his mind now on a hot shower and a change of clothes.

Gary stopped in mid-step as he looked up at the figure standing on the landing near his apartment door. The smile on his lips grew as he recognized the person as Marissa. She was curves and smooth chocolate skin encased in a dress that had him thinking Emmett was a very lucky man. Gary looked at his watch, 7:30 p.m., maybe she's waiting for him up here to escape the wolves downstairs.

Gary knew she was aware of him even though she had not acknowledged him. Five more steps brought him next to her. He looked out the window, seeing what she could not. Marissa was blind and had been since childhood. In the five years they had known each other, her self-reliance and intuitiveness often let him forget about her disability. So it was not strange to him that Marissa would be standing here looking out at the reddish-gold sunset. What did disturb him was her continued silence.

He turned toward her, puzzled that she had turned her face slightly away from him. His eyes moved over her face and down the slender column of her neck to her shoulder. The square cut of her dress gave him a tantalizing view. His fingers brushed at a minute speck on her shoulder where material rested against skin. "Sorry," Gary said as Marissa flinched slightly. Soft echoed in his mind. Everything about her tonight shouted "notice me." He wondered if she was waiting for him instead of Emmett. The thought pleased him, but if asked why at that moment, he would have been hard pressed to voice his reasons. Deep inside where emotions were unfettered by reason, he knew why.

Marissa did not have the showy looks of a fashion model or actress, but it was her face he looked forward to seeing each day. It was her faith in him, her no nonsense approach to life and the gentleness of her soul that helped him stay sane. And, Gary mimicked to himself in W.C. Fields classic drawl; all of her curves are in the right places. Feeling his body responding to the thought, Gary took a half step away. Remember, she's dating Emmett, probably on her way to being in love with him. He used the thought like a cold shower to keep from losing further control.

Marissa's friendship was one of the few things he had been able to hold onto in a world full of losses. He lost his job, his wife, his home, in the divorce and his apartment to a fire. His best friend Chuck, to a wife and California, and above all his freedom to the paper. So he would do nothing to jeopardize the bond between them.

"Special occasion?" He asked to break the silence between them. Gary watched the muscle in her lower jaw, working beneath the skin. She’s upset. He was suddenly worried that Marissa had picked up on his momentary pheromone high. Sometimes it was uncanny how she could read the vibes coming from him.

"Marissa?"

Marissa lowered her head for a moment before turning it in his direction. "How was the tournament? Did the boys win?"

"Yeah, three games out of four. They were incredible."

"I'm glad. You put a lot of time into getting them prepared." She lifted her fingers to the face of her watch. "I need to be downstairs, time for shift change." With the last word, Marissa turned; her hand reaching out for the wall.

Gary frowned, something was definitely wrong. She hadn't grilled him for details about the tournament, asked him why he hadn't brought the boys back for a celebration dinner and she was without her cane. He looked at her more closely as she reached the wall, her hands searching for the railing. Her body language was wrong, as if she were holding herself under tight control. Gary followed her down the steps.

"Marissa, what's wrong?" At the negative shake of her head, Gary shifted gears, searching his memory for some clue to his role in her odd behavior. He remembered waking to Cat's meow and the usual thump of the paper. Thankfully, there had been nothing major in the paper requiring his attention. He'd given her his routine on-the-run hello and "on my way out." So what had happened between 1:00 p.m. and now?

"Did I forget to sign something? Did something happen at school?"

"No."

"Did Monique go ballistic again?" Gary recalled how frustrated Marissa had been at the temperamental chef's 30 minute rant during lunch rush last week.

"No. You settled that quite well."

Gary tried again. Marissa's voice was too listless. The real Marissa would have told him to back off. "Are my parents in town?"

At the mention of his parents a quick smile touched Marissa's lips. Gary felt better that he'd gotten that small concession.

"No."

Gary almost groaned. Twenty questions was not his favorite game, but he wasn't giving in either. "Is it Spike?"

"He's fine." Marissa took several more steps.

"Is it Emmett?"

At the mention of Emmett, Marissa suddenly stiffened and hurried down the last few steps. Gary followed her through a small crowd into the kitchen. "Did you break your date with him because of me? I'm so sorry Marissa. I didn't remember..."

"Gary!" Marissa turned toward him, her hand pressed against his chest. Her head rested against her hand. "We can talk about this later, after closing. Now go back upstairs. You're in the way."

The defeat in her voice raised goosebumps along his arms. He looked around at the kitchen staff, who studiously avoided the question in his face. "Okay."

& & &

His high from the tournament gone, Gary stood in the middle of the loft worrying about how to approach Marissa. The sadness he'd heard in her voice reminded him of her run-in with Jeffrey. They'd met at the university in a psychology class. Marissa liked him and Jeffrey had tried to kill her, but she'd come back from that incident stronger. Marissa was always the one to push him to believe he could accomplish the difficult tasks. It was unsettling to see that she was hurting and unwilling to let him help. Knowing he would find no answers staring at the carpet, he headed for the bathroom.

"Fourteen...fifteen...sixteen," Gary counted the back and forth movements of his foot against the edge of the coffee table. After repeating "eighteen" for the third time he pushed himself off the couch. "Maybe a cup of something will help." He spoke into the silence. Standing at the sink filling the kettle, his stomach rolled slightly, he felt jittery, tense. He recognized the feeling; it was his inner warning alarm whenever something important was about to happen.

Earlier he had been tempted to go downstairs as the sounds of the evening crowd died away, leaving the muffled laughter of the clean-up crew. But he had waited, because Marissa had never lied to him and because he owed her the time she needed to deal with whatever the problem was. Drying his hands Gary walked to the couch, ignoring the paper on the table. Tonight he was determined to give Marissa his undivided attention. He said a brief prayer that whoever sent him the paper would understand.

& & &

A light tap sounded on the doorframe seconds before the door opened and Marissa stepped inside. From his perch on the desk Gary watched, trying to gauge her mood.

Folding her cane Marissa took a few more steps into the room, her face unreadable. She stood, hands gripping the white steel as if it was about to jump from her grasp.

"You look very nice tonight. I forgot to tell you earlier."

"I don't feel like small talk tonight, Gary. I want to finish this and go home."

Gary straightened, suddenly angry that Marissa was acting as if he was imposing on her. He quickly swallowed the anger. He had tried the same tactics on her on several occasions and she had never given up on him. He could be just as stubborn as she.

Marissa pulled the cane tighter into her chest. "Emmett has left for Dallas. A law firm offered him a paid fellowship with an option to join as a junior partner, should he want."

Gary rubbed his hands back and forth across his thighs, a gesture he often exhibited when he was unsure. "Are you going with him?" He could not help the fear in his voice.

"No."

Standing, Gary crossed the floor to where Marissa stood. He wanted to reach out and hug her, but instead he put his hand on her elbow and with a little pressure guided her to the chair and helped her to sit. Sitting on the table in front of her, his knees lightly touching hers, Gary felt like a jailer trying to keep a prisoner from running away.

"Why not?"

"We want different things." Marissa slumped back in the chair her hands gripping her arms. She shivered.

Gary sat in the silence between them uncertain what to do or say next. It was an unusual feeling to someone who was used to thinking in the moment. He had to because every morning along with a very independent yellow tabby, Gary received the Chicago Sun-Times newspaper a day before everyone else. For four years now, almost every day ran or shine, he had received a paper that helped him find lost children, reunite estranged families, prevent death and mayhem, changed fate and convinced the hopeless that there was hope. His mind churned over the thought that Marissa's answer to Emmett might have been different, that she could be telling him that she was leaving. A large lump formed in the middle of his chest. Fear and hurt. A plaintive meow sounded at the door causing Gary to jump, his body turned toward the door.

"The cat wants in," Marissa said matter of factly.

& & &

Gary stood at the sink watching; Cat, sat on the kitchen table watching him. Wide golden eyes met puzzled ones of brownish green. He had the feeling that Cat was there to make sure he didn't mess up. Picking up the cups of steaming liquid, Gary leaned in close to Cat and whispered, "mind your own business." Cat's answer was to jump off the table and run to Marissa.

Putting one cup on the table next to him, he tapped the back of Marissa's hand with his finger and guided the second cup into her opened hands. Both sipped at their cups in silence. For the first time Gary could remember, he was uncomfortable around Marissa.

Lowering his cup Gary voiced his confusion. "I thought the two of you..."

Lines of pain formed between Marissa's eyes. "There's been a distance between us for months now. Emmett knows I care for him," Marissa continued after taking a deep breath, "it just isn’t the way he needs."

Gary sat uncertain about what he should be feeling. He was glad that Marissa wasn't leaving, yet he felt sorry that things had not worked out between she and Emmett. He stood to take his cup to the kitchen, instead it sat untouched on the table. "Marissa I know that I can be self-absorbed, but I didn't see...why didn't you tell me?"

"Why should I? It didn't have anything to do with you."

Gary winced at the harshness in her voice.

"We're friends. Maybe I could have helped in some way."

Marissa leaned forward, one hand outstretched toward the table, the other held onto Cat. Gary took the cup from her hand, pushing it toward the one he'd abandoned.

"And what would you have done to fix our relationship?" As her voice died away, Gary searched her face. She looked so hurt and he understood. His love life was a sad tale, a failed marriage and several close relationships that had not gone the distance.

Marissa leaned forward, her hands rubbing at her temples. "There was so much I couldn't explain to him."

"Marissa, I never wanted to cause..."

Marissa's deep sigh interrupted him. "You didn't. The sad part is, deep down I did not want to share that part of our relationship with him. I could have talked to you about telling Emmett about the paper." Her sad laugh gripped Gary's heart. "After he left, I came upstairs standing for hours trying to decide what I wanted. Some type of future with him or what I have now. We both made our decisions." Marissa pushed Cat gently out of her lap. "We've talked about this all we need to, there's nothing else. Emmett is gone, it's late and I'm tired. I'm going home. See you tomorrow."

"It doesn't feel right letting you leave, hurting."

"You're not letting me do anything."

"I don't understand why you are shutting me out. Are you angry with me?"

Marissa gave a frustrated snort. "You keep making this about you." Her cane unfolded with an angry snapping of the joints.

Gary reached out cupping Marissa's face in his hands. "You have seen me through most of the major upheavals of my life. Let me be here for you." His hand moved from her face to her shoulders. Gary was not surprised at her reluctance when he tried to pull her closer for a hug. But he persisted, tightening his arms around her.

& & &

Gary stood on the landing outside his door, gently stroking Cat. Both looking out into the dark lit with millions of lights. "We've got to work on her. Find a way to make her see that she loves us, as much as we love her."

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