The Kill Wesley Club, Part II


	The sound of the gavel quickly started the 4th meeting. "Today is Wesley's birthday and as you 

all know that if we don't give him a celebration he will suspect that something is amiss," Picard said then 
turned to face Lieutenant Worf. "Mr.Worf, take care of the punch, no spiking. Mr. Riker, please get some 

chips and dip together. Counselor Troi, get everyone psychologically prepared, we don't want anyone 

cracking under the strain. As for the rest of you, prepare the decorations, cake, and so on. Remember, 

no poison! The Judgement day is soon, but with Dr.Crusher still on board we must restrain ourselves 

from doing anything rash. Meeting adjourned." As Picard ambled down from the podium, three 

mischievous ensigns were already making plans for the cake.



	When Wesley woke up, he was surprised by how eerily quiet the ship was. Where is everyone? 

he thought.  He quickly splashed some water on his face and left his quarters to scout out some other 

people.  As he walked past a computer panel he had a brilliant idea.  "Computer, where is everyone 

else?"

	"The majority of the crew is gathered in Ten Forward," replied the computer in a static voice.  

	"Thanks," said Wesley as he started down the hallway. 

	When the doors of Ten Forward opened, Wesley was greeted by complete darkness. Then the 

lights came on and Wesley was assaulted by a brilliant array of colors, as well as a barrage of sound. 

	"SURPRISE!" The entire crew was gathered there, with little party hats and noisemakers. Wesley 

was overjoyed.

	"Wow! I even forgot it was my birthday, too! And you guys threw a party for me! I guess I can put 

off revolutionizing impulse power for a while and stay." The entire crew simultaneously clenched their 

fists. 

	"You just do that," Riker muttered. The mood slowly began to lighten again. Picard strolled up to 

Wesley and shook his hand.

	"Happy Birthday...son." Picard's voice broke for the first time in fifty years and the last word 

barely managed to squeak out. He cleared his throat and stepped away as Beverly squeezed her son into 

a big hug. Wesley gasped for breath but still managed to smile. 

	The crew filed by, shaking hands with him, somewhat reluctantly but putting on a good show.  

Worf and Riker dominated the chip bowl. Then the party began to quiet down and the crew drifted to the 
long tables that had been set up on the far side of the room. It was almost cake time. Soon everyone was 

seated and the cake was wheeled out. The crew members cheered as they saw it, admiring the beautiful 

work. But when it got to Wesley he took one look at it and screamed a girly scream.

	"ENJOY YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY?!?" Wesley squealed. Beverly looked confused and Picard 

began to sputter.

	"We-well, u-u-um...um...It's just another typo. It's supposed to say 'Enjoy Your Latest Birthday'." 

He shot a glare at the ensigns who had been in charge of the cake, but they were rolling on the floor 

laughing and didn't notice. Wesley seemed to be reassured by the 'latest' explanation, and calmed down.

	"Oh. Maybe this program I'm writing that will revolutionize computer typing will help," Wesley 

offered, his good mood returning. Had someone been under the table they would have seen everyone's 

fists clench for the second time beneath the tablecloth. 

	"You just do that," the whole congregation muttered.

	"Where are the presents?" Wesley whined.  "It's not a good birthday without presents."

	"Don't worry," said his Mom. "They're coming." A huge tray of presents was rolled out and parked 

beside Wes' chair.  He squeaked in delight.  

	Wesley picked up the biggest present, which happened to be from his mother. She clapped her 

hands as he opened it and pulled out an oversized baby blue Angora sweater. "Oh, just what I've always 

wanted! I thought of replicating one myself!" 

	The next package contained another sweater, this one from Worf. It was black with the symbol of 

the Klingon Empire knitted into it. Then a plain brown crew neck from Picard, and a green and white 

striped one from Riker. A purple and pink spotted one from Troi. Wesley loved them all, but wondered if 

he'd get anything different. He didn't. 

	When the last present had been opened and the last card read, Wesley embraced them all in a 

big bear hug and trundled off to his quarters. Beverly followed, and the gathered crew members breathed 

a sigh of relief. They got out of there as fast as they could.

2 days 'till Doomsday...

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