Falstaff's
"Joke
of the Week"
Here's your
joke for the week of October 27th.
Included is
a bonus joke for having missed posting my joke for last week.
Your contributions are welcome!
Please email them to:
wf_arpeggio@yahoo.com
I'm Just Dying to Tell
You Something...
Lying in his hospital bed, a dying man
began to flail about and make motions as if he would like to speak.
A priest, keeping watch at the side of
his bed, leaned over and asked, "Do you have something you would like to
say?"
The man nodded, and the priest handed
him a pad and pen.
"I know you can't speak, but use this
to write a note and I will give it to your wife. She's waiting just outside."
Gathering his last bit of strength, the
man scrawled his message, then stuffed the paper into the priest's hands.
Moments later, he died. After administering
the last rites, the priest left to break the sad news to the wife.
After consoling her a bit, the priest
handed her the note.
"Here were his last words. Just before
passing on, he wrote this message to you."
The wife tearfully opened the note, which
read:
"GET OFF MY !@#$!@ OXYGEN HOSE!"
Another Fine Mess...
A big game hunter went on a safari
with his wife and mother-in-law.
One evening, while still deep in
the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone.
Rushing to her husband, she insisted on
them both going out to try to find her.
The hunter took a swig of whiskey and
they started out in search of her.
In a clearing not far from the camp, they
came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick,
impenetrable brush, and a large, male lion stood facing her.
The wife cried, "What are we going to
do?"
"Nothing," said her husband. "The lion
got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."