The Lightning Date

                                  A pre-med student from the University of
                                  Arizona was hoping to score with his date
                                  on a Friday night. To put the woman in the
                                  mood, he drove her to a lonesome spot on
                                  Mount Lemmon which overlooks the city
                                  of Tucson, Arizona. They walked to an
                                  open knoll and admired the city lights. 

                                  Overcome by the romantic locale, the
                                  lissome lass succumbed to his pleas. Soon
                                  they tossed their clothes off, made a bed
                                  of their garments, and began to make love.
                                  The heavy storm clouds rolling overhead
                                  mingled with the low rumble of thunder
                                  inside them. The excited lovers never
                                  looked up to see the charred remains of
                                  trees on the knoll. 

                                  Their idyllic clearing was a hotbed of
                                  electrical activity that night. With a blinding
                                  light, a bolt of lightning struck the high
                                  point on the knoll, which happened to be
                                  the pre-med student's ass, and sought the
                                  path of least resistance straight down.
                                  Incredibly, he survived, albeit in
                                  excruciating pain. 

                                  The heat of the bolt had fused together
                                  flesh and latex so that the two lovers were
                                  now stuck together. The woman
                                  unfortunately did not survive the lightning
                                  strike. When the student looked down into
                                  the vacant eyes of his girlfriend and
                                  realized she was dead, his immediate
                                  repulsion caused him to jerk away from
                                  her. When he found that he couldn't, a
                                  wave of pain and nausea made him vomit
                                  into the girl's face and open mouth. 

                                  Heaving only caused more pain and illness.
                                  Finally he passed out. Attracted by the
                                  smell, a bear found its way to the lovers
                                  and began to lick semi-digested pizza and
                                  buffalo wings from the dead girl's face.
                                  The student roused from his exhaustion.
                                  When he saw the bear, he realized that
                                  there was nothing he could do but lay
                                  silently in fear. 

                                  To his horror, the bear became dissatisfied
                                  with just a lick and started to eat the girl,
                                  loudly crunching her facial bones inches
                                  from his ear. The bear also sampled the
                                  student, scraping the back of his skull with
                                  its teeth, before moving on. 

                                  At 11:35AM, a group of camping girl
                                  scouts arrived at the lover's tryst, where
                                  the pre-med student's car was parked.
                                  Minutes later, three screaming girls
                                  discovered the student, who had regained
                                  consciousness several times in the night
                                  and had managed to drag himself and the
                                  partially-eaten girl several meters towards
                                  the road. 

                                  Doctors managed to separate the student
                                  from the corpse. 

                                  According to a hospital source, his penis
                                  resembled "a small piece of cauliflower" in
                                  its flaccid state. The first hint of arousal
                                  resulted in so much pain that the student
                                  was unable and unwilling to achieve an
                                  erection. It is doubtful that it will ever again
                                  function in a procreatory sense. 

                                  We were alerted to this bogus story by
                                  Michael Leavitt. 

This article was stolen from "The Darwin Awards",  a really cool site with a lot of funny, and usually true stories.