A
Comedy of Pathetic Errors
By:
Tyigra and Lioncat84
tygercat@hotmail.com & lioncat84@hotmail.com
(A
strange adventure heavily influenced by Monty Python, Douglas Adams, and a
touch of Dave Barry)
That Weird
Narrator That Starts Every Episode: We
join our heroes as they continue their quest to become great Pokemon Masters
(and Breeders!) Ash, Misty, and Brock are camping out at a lake as they journey
to… to… uuhh… actually, they’re not sure where they are. They’re lost, as
usual. Big surprise there, huh? I mean, how often do they actually know where
they are, honestly? Could you ever find a more hopeless, incompetent grouping
of half-wit—OWWWW!!!
Ash: WHO YOU CALLING INCOMPETENT
HALF-WI*…OUCH!
Misty: Don’t talk to the narrator!
Ash: Uaaggg!! Misty, that hurt!
Pikachu: (laughing) Pi pi pika!
Brock: Hi. I’m Brock.
Ash and Misty: Stop hogging the camera!
Todd: Come on, he only said three words!
Ash: How’d you get here?
Todd: (cough) Plot hole.
Brock: Can we get on with this?
Ash and Misty: (glare)
Todd: (snapping pictures) Aww, you two are so
cute! It’s like you’re married!
Ash and Misty: WHAT!!!!!!! (blush)
Weird Narrator: Suddenly, a bright flash of light
commences the actual plot.
Ash: What’s that bright flash of light?
Brock: Lets check it out.
Pikachu: Pikachu!
Misty: Wow! It looks like a space ship!
Todd: (snap snap snap) Or a time machine.
Ash: What? How can you tell?
Todd: Well, it says ‘Time Machine’ on the door….
Ash: Oh, right.
Brock: (whispering to Todd) He’s not good at
noticing the obvious…
Misty: Don’t make fun of my ma-, I mean, of Ash!
Ash: Look! The door’s opening!
Todd: (sarcastically) Oh really? I thought it
was singing! (mutters) Dumb lines…
Brock: Look! It’s…it’s…it’s…I don’t believe it!!
Ash and Misty: What!?!?!?
Brock: It’s….a gorgeous woman!!!! Awwwwwgh…..
(drools)
Woman: Oh, hi Brock.
Brock: Awuwauwhg! Sheee knoooowwss my naaamme!!!
Man: Hi Brock.
Brock: Auwuw....huh? You look familiar.
Man: Really.
Brock: Of course! I’d know that hat hair
anywhere!
Man: Waaaagh! (falls over)
Ash: You…you’re…
Man: That’s right! Your future self!
Ash: Wow!! I’m cool! I’m tall! I…I…I still have
bad hair!
Future Ash: Waaagh! (falls over again)
Ash: Who’s the babe?
Woman: Heeheehee.
Misty: (jealous) Hey! Ash!
Woman: It’s all right Misty. You should be glad
he’s flattering your future self!
Ash: Waaagh! (falls over)
Misty: Ha! I knew I’d be prettier than my sisters
someday!!
Future Misty: Well, it helps that they had that
disfiguring acc—
Professor Oak: It may not be wise to tell them what
happens in their futures.
Ash, Misty, and
Brock: Professor Oak!
How’d you get here?
Prof. Oak: (cough) ‘notherplothole.
Pikachu: Pi!
Future Ash and
Misty: That’s okay, we can
tell Pikachu! (whisper in Pikachu’s cute little ear)
Ash: (whispers) Quick, Pikachu! What’d they
say??
Pikachu: Pika! (translation: No! That could cause a
paradox that would wipe out the entire universe. Granted, that’s a worse case
scenario. The destruction could be localized to our galaxy.)
Ash: (in unexplained, inexplicable British
accent) Aw, you’re no fun anymore…
Gary: Hey Ash! Still hanging around with
loooosers?!
Future Ash: Oh yeah! Well, guess what happens in your
future, Mr. Nappy Hair!
Future Misty: Calm down Ash. (pause) I’LL TELL HIM!!
Prof. Oak: a-HEM.
Future Ash and
Misty: Aw, you’re no fun
anymore…
Ash: Oh! Stop stealing my line! The next person
does it I’ll throw them under a camel!
Brock: (muttering) Assuming you can spot
one…
Armored Knight: (slaps Brock with rubber chicken, then
vanishes)
Gary: Well, while you’re hanging around
loser-ville, I’m heading to the next town. There’s a battling contest; winner
gets a million Poke-dollars! Not that I need the money, mind you. I have rich
parents.
Fan club: And Nappy Hair!
Gary: Aw, you’re no fun anymore! …Augh! (gets
thrown under camel.)
Todd: What a great picture! (snap snap snap!)
Ash: I want that picture for my wallet!
Future Ash: (sniffle) I remember that. (pulls out
wallet)
Fan club: You hurt his nappy hair! Waaaaw! (pull
Gary into his convertible, drive off to next town.)
Ash: Follow that car!!!!
Brock: Why? You hate Gary!
Ash: So? He’s not lost!!
Commercial
Break: Who’s that Pokemon?!
Undertaker: Are you feeling unhappy? Depressed? Tired
of life? Keep it up!
End commercial break: It’s Jigglyduck! (Misty: Psyduck? Is there something you want to tell us?)
Weird Narrator: Our heroes (and future selves of heroes)
(and tag-alongs) have finally found their way to the next city, by following
Mr. Nappy H—I mean, Gary. Unfortunately, the contest has drawn Pokemon trainers
from all over, filling the town.
Ash: Man, I can’t find any vacancies anywhere!
Todd: All the first class hotels are taken! All
the second-class hotels are taken! All the hotels up to the 163rd
class are taken, and even some of the cleaner dumpsters!
Hobo: Hey! This is my dumpster! Go find
your own!
Woman: Are you looking for a room?
Man: We happen to have an inn just over there!
Misty: Kinda small, isn’t it?
Brock: You look familiar…
Woman: Uh…I have some sisters that look just like
me, maybe you’re just confusing me with them!
Brock: Like Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny!
Nurse Joy: Did someone say my name? Do your Pokemon
need treatment?
Officer Jenny: Hey, you look familiar too! Have I seen you
somewhere?
Woman: (covers up Wanted poster) Uhuahahah! Of
course not!
Brock: Joy and Jenny!! You’re even more beautiful
than the last sisters I saw!
Joy and Jenny: (menacing) We’ve heard about you. Aren’t
you that weird boy who keeps stalking our relatives?
Brock: Uahg! Nope! Not me!
Woman: (shoves Joy & Jenny out of scene) Now,
why don’t you come with us? We have a few rooms left, but not for long!
Man: You can go watch the contest while we
pamper your Pikachu!
Ash: No way! He’s battling in the contest for
me!
Misty: That hair looks awfully familiar…
Man and Woman: Uhhh…it’s the latest style! Now come with
us!
Meowth: Yeah, we ain’t got all day!
Woman: Quiet Meowth!
Ash: That Pokemon looks awfully familiar…
Narrator: (sighs)
Todd: Lets hurry before the rooms are gone!
Misty: Shut up!
Todd: But it’s my only line!
Future Misty
and Ash: So? We didn’t
have any lines in this scene at all!
Narrator: Our heroes spend the night at the inn,
oblivious to the large Meowth shaped balloon in the back yard and the innkeepers
insistence on wearing Team Rocket costumes. Misty and Ash, determined to find
out about their futures, sneak out to listen through the door and window,
oblivious to each other’s presence.
Future Ash: It’s a shame we can’t tell them what
happens in their futures.
Future Misty: Well, would they believe us if we told
them?
F. Ash: What? I always knew I’d be the world’s
greatest Pokemon master!
F. Misty: I’m talking about us being married!
Ash: (silently) Whoa….
Misty: (silently) Whoa….
F. Ash: Goodnight dear.
F. Misty: Goodnight dear.
Narrator: The two sneak back to their rooms, never
knowing the other heard it as well.
Ash: (alone) Goodnight dear.
Misty: (alone) Goodnight dear.
Narrator: The next morning, our heroes awaken to
find Pikachu missing!
Ash: Wuaaagh!! Pikachu’s missing!
Misty: Wuaaagh!! Pikachu’s missing!
Brock: Wuaaagh!! Pikachu’s missing!
Future Ash: Wuaaagh!! Pikachu’s missing!
Future Misty: Wuaaagh!! Pikachu’s missing!
Todd: Wuaaagh!! I’m out of film!
Everyone: We’re in trouble!
Man: C-can’t…re-resist…
Woman: Must…sp-spout…poetry!
(throw off
disguise, i.e. a pair of glasses and a mustache)
Jessie: Prepare for trouble!
James: Yes, and make it double!
Jessie: To protect the world from devastation!
James: To unite all peoples within our nation!
Future Ash: That is so old.
Future Misty: Can’t you think of something new?
Jessie: Grrr! Don’t interrupt!
Meowth: I’m tired of that one too.
James: Hey, whose side are you on?
F. Ash: Hehehehehe….who’s side are you on?
Jessie: What do you mean?
F. Misty: Hehehehehe…we know what happens in your
future!
James: Are you one of those TV Psychics?
F. Ash and
Misty: Augh! (fall over)
Meowth: What are you implying?
F. Ash: Hehehehe…wouldn’t you like to know…
Ash: Give me back my Pikachu!
Jessie: But first, a poem!
F. Ash and
Misty: Let us give you a
suggestion.
F. Misty: To protect the world from corny lines!
F. Ash: To unite all people with hefty fines!
F. Misty: To denounce the evils of Nappy hair!
F. Ash: To extend our reach to a world of care!
F. Misty: Jessie!
F. Ash: James!
F. Misty: Team Rocket, patrolling through the lonely
nights!
F. Ash: Surrender now while we read your rights!
Meowth: Meowth! What the ****! Are you saying they
start woirking for the wight side of the law???
Officer Jenny: Welcome aboard!
Jessie: No way! Not us! We’ll always be bad!
F. Ash: That’s true.
James: Hey!
Jessie: I already shoved you out of this story
once! (shoves Jenny out of scene. Again.)
Ash: a-HEM.
Brock: This is my only line.
Everyone: (various groans of disgust)
Brock: But it’s my only line!!
Ash: Give me back Pikachu already!
Misty: Go, Staryu!
Psyduck: Psy!
Misty: Aguhg! Not you!
Jessie: Ha! What a pathetic Pokemon! (kicks
Psyduck)
Psyduck: (headache grows) Psssy!
Misty: It’s headache is growing! Now it can use
psychic attacks!
James: You know, as often as they keep saying
that, you’d think we’d realize giving it a headache makes it stronger!
Psyduck: Psyyyyy! Duck!
Jessie and
James: We…can’t…move!
Jigglypuff: Jiggly!
Everyone: AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!! It’s
Jigglypuff!
Jigglypuff: Jiiiiiiigaaaaalllyyyypuuuuuufff,
Jigalyyyyyyyiiieeepuuuuuuffff!
Everyone except
Psyduck:
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzz.
Jigglypuff: PUFF!!
Psyduck: Psy?
Jigglypuff: Jiggly?
Psyduck: Duck!
Jigglypuff: Puff!
Narrator: We are now going to skip this scene, but
you already know what happened if you saw the commercial break.
Ash: zzz..uhag? What happened?
Pikachu: Pikapi!
Ash: Pikachu! You’re free! Hey everyone, wake
up! Misty!
Misty: uuugg…hey, what happened? Our faces aren’t
scribbled on!
Psyduck: Psyyyy…
Misty: You look awfully smug…
Togepi: Toge! Toge! Prrri! (translation: This is
my only line)
Ash: Come on everyone! It’s almost time for the
contest!
Narrator: Our, um, main characters and company enter
the arena. Ash, Misty and Brock sign up for the contest, and so do Gary, Jessie
and James.
Ash: Hey, why don’t you sign up?
Future Ash: That’s all right. I already know how it’s
going to end.
Ash: Wahg! Tell me!!
F. Ash: Hehehehe…
Ash: Aw, you’re no fun anymore….
Announcer: Welcome to the first annual ‘Who Wants To
Be a Millionaire?’ Pokemon Tournament! For the First round, we have Harry Oak—I
mean, Gary Oak!—vs. Misty!!!!!
Gary: This should be easy! Losers always lose!
F. Ash and
Misty: Oooh, if this were
the future, Team Rocket would have fined him within 2 seconds! Corny lines are
their specialty!
Misty: Is that your best line? When I’m through
with you, I’ll make you EAT that Nappy Hair!
Gary: What? GO MAGIKARP! If you think my Na--, I
mean, my hair is bad, you haven’t seen your boyfriend’s!
Misty: (blushing) WHAT?? GO STARMIE!!
Jigglyduck: Jigglyduck!
Gary: What’s that?
Pokedex: No information available.
Gary: So, you actually managed to get a rare
Pokemon, huh? Well, it’s no match for my….what? Dang, I wasn’t thinking!
Misty: That’s nothing new. Go…uh, Jiggly..Duck!.
Use your…uh…attack!
Jigglyduck: Psypuff! (runs up to Magikarp and baps it
across its face.)
Gary: Ha! That’s pathetic! Magikarp, use your
splash!
Magikarp: Karp! (splashes three drops of water on
Jigglyduck)
Jigglyduck: Duuuuuuck! (groans in pain)
Misty: Aaauhg! It’s even worse than Psyduck! Wait
a minute…
Jigglyduck: DuUUUuuuuUUUuuuk!
Misty: It’s headache is growing worse! Now it can
use psychic attacks!
Jigglyduck: (eyes glowing) (beautifully)
Jiiiiiiigaaaallliiiiiieeee (sour, off-key) DUUUUUUUUUCCKK!!!!
Gary: Aaauuug! Magikarp passed out in horror!
Announcer: And the winner of this match is Misty!!
Misty: Yeaaaaaah!!!
Ash: You did it, swee—I mean, Misty!
Announcer: Next up; Brock Vs. Nurse Joy!
Brock: Uaawwwwaaaww! Nuuurseee Joooooyyy!
Nurse Joy: GO CHANSEY!
Chansey: Chansey!
Brock: Go Vulpix! Show off how beautifully trained
and smart you are so she’ll liiiiiikeee meeeeee!
Vulpix: Vul! (trots around looking cool and
composed)
Brock: Look Nurse Joy! Isn’t it the healthiest
and best bred Vulpix you ever saw?
Vulpix: Vulpix! (fluffs up tails)
Nurse Joy: Uh, sure. CHANSEY, KILL!
Chansey: CHAAAAAAANSEY! (crushes Vulpix)
Brock: Uaaaagh! Its an evil Nurse Joy!
Vulpix: Vuuuuuuuuuuuuuuullllll!
Announcer: And the winner is Nurse Joy!
Narrator: The battles continue, narrowing down till
there are only four contestants left.
Announcer: Next up! Misty Vs. Jessie!
Jessie: Go Lickitung!
Misty: Go Goldeen!
Lickitung: Tung!
Jessie: Alright Lickitung! Use your lick attack!
Lickitung: Tuuung! (starts to unroll tongue)
Misty: Actually, did you know Lickitung never
learns Lick attack?
Jessie: Huh?
Misty: And there’s no TM for it either. Only
Ghost Pokemon use that attack!
Lickitung: Tuuuung… (suddenly can’t use Lick attack)
Jessie: Urrrrrg! How dare you correct the errors
in this show!
Misty: Goldeen! Use your peck attack!
Goldeen: (laughs like Woody Woodpecker and taps
Licky with its horn) Peck peck peck!
Jessie: (laughs) You call that an attack? Licky!
Disable!
Lickitung: Licky! (glows blue)
Goldeen: Goldeen, deen! (slams Licky with its Horn
attack)
Jessie: What? Lickitung, which attack did you
disable?
Lickitung: (pecks ground)
Jessie: (slaps Licky) You long tongued buffoon!
You’re supposed to disable the attacks that could’ve stopped you, not the
pathetic ones!
Lickitung: (in pain) Tuuuung…
Misty: Ha! Goldeen! Use your Waterfall attack!
Goldeen: Gold! (water pours from no where, and
falls. Hence the name. Get me?)
Misty: Hey! The action descriptions aren’t
supposed to be sarcastic! (she said, her head bigger than Ash’s ego)
Misty: Stop that!
Announcer: And the winner is…Misty!
Misty: Yeah!
Announcer: And the next battle is between Ash and
James!
Ash: Hehehehe…prepare to lose!
James: I’m quite practiced at it, thank you.
Ash: Go Pikachu!
Pikachu: Pi pi ka!
James: Victreebel! I choose you! Oohoohoohoohoo!
I always wanted to say that!
Victreebel: (shrieks) AAAAAAAA! (Slams Ash, sending
him flying in the air)
Ash: Waaaaah! You’re supposed to attack the
Pokemon, not the trainer!
James: Oohoohoohoohoohoo! You’re finally obeying
me!
Victreebel: AAAAAAAA (swallows James’s head)
James: Stop that!
Letmegocutitoutquititknockitoff!!
Pikachu: (sweatdrops) Pika…
Ash: (slowly falling down, laughing in Nelson
Muntz style) HA HA! ….huh?
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has this
to say on the subject of flying. There is an art, it says, or rather a knack to
flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and
miss. Most people fail to miss the ground and if they are really trying
properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard. One
problem is that you have to miss the ground accidentally. It’s no good
deliberately intending to miss the ground, because you won’t. You have to have
your attention suddenly distracted by something else when you’re halfway there
so that you are no longer thinking about falling, or about the ground, or about
how much it’s going to hurt if you fail to miss it. If, however, you are lucky
enough to have your attention momentarily distracted at the crucial moment by,
say, a Victreebel eating it’s trainer, or a bomb going off in your vicinity,
then in your astonishment you will miss the ground completely and remain
bobbing just a few inches above it in what might seem to be a slightly foolish
manner. Do not listen to what anybody says to you at this point because they
are unlikely to say anything helpful. They are most likely to say something
along the lines of “Good God, you can’t possibly be flying!” It is vitally
important not to believe them or they will suddenly be right.
Ash: Wha…? I’m….flying!! Yippieeee!
Misty: Huh? You can’t…that’s not possible!
Ash: It’s not? (CRASH!)
Misty: Oops…sorry. (thinks for a moment) You
know, this explains how Brock can float after Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny!
Nurse Joy and
Officer Jenny: Did someone
call for u—
Jessie: (immediately shoves them out of the scene)
Announcer: And the poke--, uh, the trainer is
unconscious! Ash is the winner!
Ash and Misty: Yeaaaah!
Announcer: And the final match, the one that will
determine who wants to be a millionare, is between Ash and Misty!
Ash and Misty: Huuuuh!!!
F. Misty: (sighs) I hate this part…
F. Ash: But you love the next one…
Misty: Alright….I choose Starmie!
Psyduck: Psy!
Misty: AAAAGH! NOT YOU!
Ash: Hehehehee…I choose you….Tauros!
Narrator: What? You don’t have a Tauros, Ash!
Ash: Ha! Actually, I have a whole herd! You
guys just don’t know because the WB never aired that episode for some reason!
James: (regaining consciousness) Yeah, just like
that episode with Porygon! And the one where I’m in a bikini with explodable
br—
Ash: Actually, they finally aired that one, as
the Lost Episode.
James: Yes, but they cut out my and Jessie’s part
in the beauty contest!
Misty: (muttering) Thank goodness…
Ash: Anyway…Tauros, leer attack!
Tauros: Mooo! (glares at Psyduck)
Psyduck: Psyyyy! (falls over, eyes spinning)
Announcer: And the winner of One MILLION POKE-DOLLARS
iiiiiis…AAAASH! KEEETCHUUUUUM!
Gary: Waaaagh! (falls over)
Ash: Yeah, yeah, YEAAAAH!
Pikachu: (holds up two fingers) PI PIKA CHUUUU!
Gary: (sulking) Come on girls, we don’t need to
hang around with the losers.
Ash: Hehehehe. You mean winners….
Girls: (cheering) Don’t worry Gary, you’ll get
there! At least you still have Nappy Hair!
Gary: Waaaagh! (falls, leaps in convertible and
drives off)
Narrator: Our heroes, admiring Ash’s Poke-dollars,
continue on their journey. But what’s that rustling in the bushes?
Brock: Did you hear something?
Togepi: Toge! Toge! Prrrrri! (translation: It’s
Team Rocket, numbskulls!)
Misty: Awww, are you hungry Togepi?
Pikachu: Pi! Pi pika chu! (points at bush)
Ash: What’s the matter Pikachu? Are you saying
there’s something in the bush?
Pikachu: Chaaa… (sighs little onion cloud)
Todd: I’ll go look! (walks over to bush)
Bush: (high-pitched, inexplicable British voice)
There’s somebody out there!
Todd: Aaaaaah! It’s Team Rocket!
Jessie: (leaps from bush and takes Todd hostage)
Hand over your money or the photographer gets it! (Todd squirms)
James: And just to show how serious we
are….(takes Todd’s camera)
Todd: (slow motion)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Ash: I don’t think so! Pikachu, thundershock!
Pikachu: KA CHUUUUUUUUU!
Team Rocket: Eehhehaaheeeeaaah! (James flings the
camera into air, and they all collapse in a burnt heap. The camera s l o w l y
spins and begins to plummet…)
Todd: (looks up weakly) No…not my c a m e r a .
. . . (it falls to almost certain doom on the trail below, when suddenly…)
Pikachu: Piiii Ka! (catches camera!!!)
Todd: (stumbling to his feet and running to
Pikachu with arms outstretched) You did it!!! (grabs camera and hugs it)
Everyone: (sweatdrop)
Meowth: Me…owth…that was…shocking…
James: I think I my heart stopped!
Jessie: And the electricity started it up again!
Todd: What were you two doing, anyway?
Jessie: We were hiding to ambush you, of course!
Todd: Was that it?
James: What do mean?
Todd: I mean, it looked to me like…I mean, you
two were together, alone…I mean, uh, you know what I mean!
Jessie and
James: (stare blankly)
Meowth: Hee hee. It always does look like
that!
James: Huh?
Meowth: Oh come on, don’t tell me you don’t think
about it. You’re always hanging on each other and hugging and crying on each
other.
James: So? What are you saying?
Jessie: (glares) Are you insinuating what I think
you’re insinuating?
Meowth: (steps a few feet back, grinning) I didn’t
say anything. Why, what are you thinking about?
Jessie: Don’t put words in my mouth!
James: I don’t understand…
Meowth: Remember the Ghost of Maiden’s Peak? What
exactly were you doing when you were locked up in the cabin?
James: (Turns red) I don’t remember! I was
hypnotized! And besides, Jessie doesn’t think of me like that!
Meowth: (mocks James’s voice) I don’t remember!
(voice returns to normal) Why James, how come you didn’t say “I don’t think of
Jessie like that?”!
Jessie: (still glaring) Yes…why didn’t you
say that?
James: (blushes and laughs, one hand behind his
head bashfully)
Future Ash: (grinning) Lets leave these two alone,
shall we? (Ash and company slip away. In the background, they can still barely
hear Jessie, James and Meowth arguing)
Meowth: (laughing) Ha! James likes Jessie!
James: (glumly) And Jessie doesn’t like James…
Jessie: (softer) What did I say about putting
words in my mouth?
Meowth: Hah hah ha—huh?
Jessie: Oh look, Meowth, a ball of yarn…
Meowth: Ooooh, yarn! Meowth, meowth,
meowth! (fades
into distance)
Future Misty: I remember that! The beginning of the end
of our Team Rocket troubles!
Misty: How romantic!
Ash: (looks thoughtful)
Narrator: Our heroes successfully reach the next
town without getting lost once, and Ash and Misty’s future selves rematerialize
their time machine.
Ash: I guess this is goodbye…
Future Ash: Not really. You’ll become me
sometime soon.
Misty: Are you sure you can’t give us a hint
about our futures?
Future Misty: I know what you’re wondering, and the
answer is: “Not much longer.”
Misty: Thanks.
Ash: Huh?
Brock: Can’t you tell me if I ever get my own
gorgeous woman?
F. Ash and
Misty: (exchange glances.
The bend down and whisper in his ear)
Brock: (ecstatic) ALL RIGHT!!!
F. Ash: (boards ship) So long, but not goodbye!
F. Misty: (joins him) Farewell!
Ash, Misty,
Brock and Todd:
Byeeeeee!!!
Pikachu: Pika chuuuuu!
Togepi: Toge toge prrrrrrri!
Narrator: The ship vanishes, leaving for a bright,
if secretive, future. Our heroes stand in silence, then turn to each other and
smile.
Ash: So, what did they say to you, Brock?
Brock: (smugly) Just one word.
Misty: Well? What was it?
Brock: (grins ecstatically) “Several!”
Ash and Misty: (fall down) Waaaaaagh! (The group find an
inn, and suddenly Ash takes his money bag and runs off.)
Misty: Where are you going?
Ash: I’ll be right back! There’s just something
I gotta do!
Brock: (stares)(?) I wonder where he’s off to…
Narrator: Ash hurries into town, where he stops at a
certain store. Making a large purchase that costs him his entire winnings, he
requests to have it delivered to his inn for the next morning. Brock, Misty,
and Todd are curious when he returns without the money, but Ash refuses to say
anything. He retires early for the night, to avoid questions.
Dodrio: (crows) urrrrrr URRRRR URRRRRR! Ur
UR ur UR ur URRRRRR!
Ash: Wake up Misty! I have a surprise for you!
Misty: (wakes with a start, then yawns) All
right, all right, just let me get dressed. (Ash exits and waits, till she
emerges a few minutes later. One suspender is hanging and her hair is brushed,
but still down. Ash stares for a moment, then leads her to the front room of
the inn. There is no one around)
Ash: (covers her eyes and leads her to a
certain spot in the room) Stand here, and don’t open your eyes till I say.
Misty: (yawns) Gladly…
Ash: (moves something out of hiding and places
it in front of her) Okay, you can open your eyes now!
Misty: All right…(eyes open sleepily, then shoot
open all the way) A BIKE!!!
Ash: Yup! I finally got your bike back!
Misty: I…I don’t know what to say…
Ash: Well, you always said you were only
hanging around so you could get your bike back…
Misty: Oh…right.
Ash: But I thought you might like to stay with
us. With…me.
Misty: (eyes widen, now to the size of the
Powerpuff girls’) What are you saying?
Ash: It wouldn’t be the same without you.
You’ve always been there for me, cheering me on, or putting me down when I need
it. (Even if I didn’t appreciate it at the time) I’d really miss you if you
left…
Misty: Ash…
Ash: The point is…(blushes) …the point
is…I…lu..I lu-lu-lu….I luuu…(stutters badly) I, uh, have a feeling for you
that’s more than like! (laughs bashfully)
Misty: (blushes) When did you finally realize
this?
Ash: Well, I guess it kinda snuck up on me, but
I realized how much you meant to me when I accidentally heard our future selves
talking about being married.
Misty: (sly look) Accidentally, huh?
Ash: (laughs) Well, maybe not completely
accidentally!
Misty: (laughs too) I snuck around to eavesdrop
as well. It was great to know that at least someday you’d come to like
me the way I like you, but I hated the wait! When my future self said it
wouldn’t be much longer, I didn’t realize it would be this soon! (They
laugh and move closer, each on one side of the bicycle)
Misty: (blushing harder) It—it’s a really nice
bike…(shaking hands feel the smooth handlebar)
Ash: (blushing harder as well) I thought you
m-might like it…(reaches for the handlebars, but touches her hand instead. They
look tremulously into each other’s eyes.
They lean a little closer)
Misty: Oh, I forgot something! (reaches for his
other hand)
Ash: What? (leans a little closer)
Misty: ….To say thank you… (shaking, their lips
touch, then spread into an electric first kiss)
* SNAP! *
They break apart
with a start, and turn as one to the door. Brock and Todd are there, Todd’s
trusty camera descending from his face.
Misty: HEY! What do you think you’re doing!
Ash: You guys were supposed to still be in bed!
Brock: I sensed romance in the building. My
romance detector never lies.
Ash and Misty: (exchange glances, then pounce) OUT!!!
(They shove Brock and Todd back into the hall and slam the door)
Todd: (muffled) Hey! You should thank me! You’ll
be able to treasure this moment forever!
Ash: (turning to Misty) I will anyway…
Misty: (cuddling into his arms) Now, where were
we?