1. I told you not to climb that tree, so if you fall and break your leg, don’t come running to me for help.
2. Oh no, we’re gonna die, we’re all gonna DIE! ...Well, maybe not.
3. For some odd reason, I find it amusing when cops get the abbreviation D.U.I. mixed up with the abbreviation D.O.A.
4. In case you were wondering, I’m not always in the deep end of a pool when I think up my Deeeeeep Thoughts, but it sure does help if I am.
5. I sure am glad that must people don’t breed in public.
6. If I were a sphincter muscle, every once in a while I would completely open without warning.
7. If you’re ever going to microwave tar, for goodness sakes, do it in something with a lid, ‘cause that stuff sputters like crazy.
8. If Jack Frost actually exists, I’m really ticked off at him, because he keeps using the same ol’ jumbled ice patterns on my window.
9. When I die I’m not going to just lay there and rot. I’m going to get back up and do some more stuff.
10. If you really try hard, put forth a lot of effort, and keep practicing, you can make your stomach quack instead of growl.
11. It’s annoying when you get a hair in your mouth, but it’s really annoying when you sit and ponder, "Whose hair might that be?"
12. I love living in the country. There are lots of trees, fresh air, and I can go to the bathroom outside.
13. I wouldn’t ever want to eat Gumby, because he would probably stick to the roof of my mouth.
14. If I ever get a chance to be reincarnated, I want to be a wheat plant. Then after I’ve been harvested, I want to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
15. Is it just me, or am I like totally alone?
Goldenfire's Homepage