DREAMS AND DESIRES
"Toshi, I hear the doorbell. Watch the croquettes, I don't want them to get too greasy or to burn." Caleen gave him a hug and whispered in his ear, "Thanks for not grumbling about the food and people you don't know comin' for dinner."
"S'ki des'." was all he said, but it made her whistle, and walk with a springy gait to the door. "You're my favorite." in Japanese slang was what he said. It was a very affectionate and informal way of saying "I love you."
Caleen opened the door, it was a surprise to realize just how tall Rogue was, and the man she had with her was tall too, and rather well built.
"Hi, I'm Caleen."
"This is-" Rogue started.
"Remy." Gambit finished.
Caleen knew he was a lady's man even before he opened his mouth. She shook her head slightly and smiled with amusement.
She was able to tell he was Cajun as soon as he said his name. The name, the accent and attitude with women gave it away. Plus her years of studying the multiplicities of southern dialects, as a "hobby" as her mother would say.
"Come on in and take a seat, we're just about ready to put it on the table." Caleen said.
a small child came running around a corner, skidding to a stop when she saw two strangers. The child demanded "Who them ka?"
Caleen smiled and said to Gambit and Rogue, "She's learning both her parents' languages, she mixes them together a bit. Ka is a question marker in Japanese. My husband is Japanese, born and raised there.
She picked up her daughter and said to her,"This is my friend Rogue and her friend Remy. They're eating supper with us. "
Three year old Hanna stared at them. Then Remy grinned and said,"What's dat behind your ear, petite?" He reached up and pretended to pull a quarter from behind her ear. Then he handed it to Hanna, who giggled. Hanna wanted down then. Caleen set her down and immediately the child ran off, the quarter cluched in her hand.
Caleen smiled at Remy and said, "You're good with kids." Caleen immediately sensed she'd touched an old pain in him.
At first Remy's smile was weak, but the pain she sensed was quickly repressed and a ready grin appeared. "Little one's smiles are beautiful, neh?" The smile was still there, but the tone was wistful. Caleen could tell this man really wanted to be a father. Then she heard the timer, "I'd better get the cornbread out of the oven before it burns. No microwave mix here. When it comes to cornbread, I make it southern and homemade. No sugar or flour, but plenty of buttermilk." She said as she walked into the kitchen.
Remy, out of curiosity of what she considered a southern supper followed her.
She was already bending over and pulling the pan out when Remy came in. Remy admired the rear view. Her butt was a bit wider than he liked, but it was a nice shape.
Toshi saw where Remy's eyes were directed and rolled his eyes. He was no telepath or even an empath, like his wife, but he could read Remy's thoughts in his eyes. Caleen had said when she walked into the kitchen, that she thought the boyfriend was a lady's man. Toshi believed she was right.
Caleen was conscious where his eyes were, and she had to keep herself from laughing out loud. But she just kept a neutral look on her face as she stood up and turned around. She asked him as she carried the pan to the table, "Do you like to cook?"
"Mais oui!" He said emphatically. Then he continued,"Rogue, she brought some fried chicken, but she said since y' from Kentucky, she didn't know if y' would like Mississippi style."
Caleen did laugh then."I'm sure I will. I hope y'all like Kentucky style cornbread."
"If you have tabasco or Louisiana hot sauce, I'm sure it be fine."
"Yes, I do have tabasco sauce. We were using that in Luhvul way before the rest of the country found out about Cajun food. My mama fixed salmon croquettes when I was a kid. We always had tabasco to go with it."
Remy was surprised. He was also slightly amused by her pronunciation of salmon croquettes. She had pronounced it "saluhmon crowketsuhs."
Caleen saw the amused look and smiled back, "Pardon my Luhvul accent."
As usual for a southern dinner, way too much food was prepared to be eaten at one meal, and the leftovers were split between the two couples.
After the meal, Toshi went into the kitchen and washed the dishes and loaded up the dishwasher. while he was doing that he and Remy had a conversation and watched little Hanna. Rogue and Caleen went into the living room and talked.
Rogue finally felt able to talk about the things that were really bothering her. "Ah guess yah can tell ah love Remy, but there's things in mah past ah'm afraid tah tell him. And there's things in his past, he's told me about that are pretty bad."
"Are they any kind of violent relationship with another woman?"
"No! At least not on his part. One of his former girlfriends hit him around some."
"That's terrible, for him, was he hurt bad?"
"No, but we both hope we never see her again, her names' Candra, she's an external, if she ever comes up to you, get out there as soon as you can. She's evil and likes being that way."
"Definitely makes me glad I'm not a X-Man. You live some very dangerous lives. Now back to your qualms about Remy's past, are there things that would make you doubt his love for you?"
"Not anymore, at first yes, but he's proven to me lots of times ah could trust him with mah heart."
"Tell me, are the things he's told you about any worse than your secrets you haven't told him?"
"Ah don't know... "
"Are they things that you did?"
"No, ah already told him about those."
"So they were things done to you, or things you had no control over?"
"Yeah."
"I feel that your boyfriend will not blame yuh, or like yuh any less for anything you had no control over. Did yuh blame him for anything he didn't have control over?"
Rogue looked ashamed, "Once or twice, when ah was angry with him."
"Did you apologize?"
"Yeah, later on..."
"Yuh want to talk in my home office? It's that room right over there, and we can close the door." Caleen could tell Rogue was feeling very uncomfortable about talking about this where there would be a possibility of her boyfriend hearing her.
Rogue nodded and they went into the office. As they both sat down Caleen turned on an oldies rock station to a low volume.
They sat in two chairs next to a picture window that overlooked an above ground pool and a fenced in yard.
Rogue hesitantly told her story. This is somethin' ah'm really ashamed of.... it happened several years ago... Ah got captured by the Genoshans...this was before the reforms....Yah've heard of what went on there before, haven't yah?"
At Caleen's nod Rogue continued."Anyways, they knocked me out and kidnapped me there, without my clothes, through some sort of teleportin' power. When ah got there ah still had mah powers so ah started fightin'. Then two guards grabbed mah arms... mah power... ah absorb people's powers, memories, an' psyche temporarily through skin tah skin contact. They went unconscious. Then some guy who they had who could wipe out all mutant powers zapped me. It made me so weak ah fell tah the floor... when ah fell... they...they..." Rogue bit her bottom lip, trying to get herself under control.
Caleen's voice was very soft,"Did they rape yuh?" She gently layed her hand on Rogue's sleeve.
"No...but they touched me all over...ah don't know how many of them...a lot...both men and women...." Rogue shuddered. "They said things too...ah can't say what they said, it's too horrible..."
"Now I know why Charles sent yuh to me. I was nearly raped twice."
Rogue, calming, asked "By yoah ex-husband?"
"No. Thankfully. The first time I was still a child. A naive eleven year old. This fourteen year old neighbor boy asked me if I wanted to see his new radio. Not suspecting any evil intent I followed him to his parents' house. We went into the garage, and before I knew what was going on he stuck his hand down my pants. I kicked him hard in the shins and ran home. I didn't tell anyone about this until I was in college.
The second time was only a year ago. I was working here late, and as I was walking to my car in the parking lot, a group of five men jumped me. Thankfully the campus police were actually doing their job, and were paroling the campus. They saw the guys jump me and came up fast with their siren and lights. As soon as that happened those guys took off. That night two of the guys were caught. The other three were caught two days later when they tried to attack another assistant professor. Turned out they were frat boys who had already assaulted a number of female students over the past semester. They were expelled and jailed."
Rogue felt better for telling what had happened, and then learning that this woman, who seemed so happy and contented had gone through what she had. Rogue was surprised at how calmly she had been able to relate those terrible experiences. "How-"
"How am I able to talk about this without 'breaking down' or 'freaking out'?" Caleen said and Rogue nodded.
Caleen continued,"There's a group on campus for rape and sexual assault survivors. I joined it when I first took courses here." She smiled "Now I'm in charge of it. We talk about our experiences and anything else on our minds, once a week. We generally hold any night meetings here, because many of them were assaulted on campus at night. Unfortunately a college campus, no matter how small, is not a very safe place for women, especially at night. The `admin' tries to cover that up, but most figure it out before long. Some unfortunately not until after they are assaulted."
"Ah'd like tah come tah your meetings, but ah can't, because of who ah am, but could ah come by some other nights an' talk?"
"Sure, just give me a call before yuh come, so yuh know that I'm home." Then Caleen asked, "Just curious, in view of your power, do yuh know if yuh and your boyfriend can touch?"
"Ah don't know, ah'm too afraid tah see for sure, we've come real close, several times, but ah'm just too scared..."
"If yuh both can keep your patience up, I think you'll be able to deal with it no matter what happens. From the emotions I sensed from him I feel he really loves you. I believe from what I can sense, his emotions run as strong as yours.
"Ah'm just worried that I'll hurt him, or that he won't be able tah take not being able tah touch me."
"I'll be blunt, he could be rather disappointed. I can tell he has a very sexual nature."
"That scares me too. Ah don't know how ah'll be even if we can touch."
"I can understand that. If yuh need to talk to me, even over the phone, it'll be fine."
"Thanks, ah better go now, Remy said he wanted tah take me out somewhere afterward; even though ah'm the one drivin' the car."
"I hope yuh have a great time. Don't worry about the food, it's November, so your trunk should be like a very cold refrigerator. And don't worry about your boyfriend. I have a feeling that this guy is a good one."
"Ah think so too." Rogue says with a little smile.