DREAMS AND DESIRES

by Keri Wilson

Chapter 4d: Love is Dangerous

Rogue suddenly began to stir. She mumbled,stretched and opened her eyes."Remy, how'd ah end up in the infirmary? Yah carry me here?"

"I did cherie, you went into a coma, I stay here wit' you."

"How long, Remy?"

"Fourteen days, chere."

"Oh, Remy, yah look so tired, did yah get any sleep?"

"Non. I couldn't, cherie, I had t' keep watch over you, I was goin' t' be sure you kept improvin'."

"What was wrong with me, do yah know?"

"They said it was a massive hormonal change, caused by you and some outside agent."

"So what does that mean, will ah be o.k.?"

Hank came into the room, and said "If you will allow me to run one more very minor test, we should be able to tell very quickly." He then looked at her with a little smile.

"What do yah know that ah don't, Hank?"

"Patience, Rogue, we will all know for sure in a moment."

Hank ran a abdominal scan, and then his smile turned into a grin."Yes, I was correct," he looked up at both Gambit and Rogue and said "You are going to be parents in about eight months."

Remy hugged Rogue tight, she cried with happiness.

Then Hank said, "Hmm, something else too, this change has apparently permanently affected your gene for absorbing, interesting: only that gene. I've done a complete genetic scan, and none of your other genes are affected at all- not even your altered genes as a result of your permanent absorption of Ms. Marvel's powers."

"How much did it get changed, Hank ?"

"Well Rogue, the gene has been weakened. I don't know how much of an absorbing ability you do have, but it's definitely going to be less."

"So maybe ah won't have tah worry about ever permanently absorbin' anyone any more?"

"I don't know Rogue, if there was a safe way for you to truly test this I'd have you do so. The computer tests aren't 100 percent accurate."

"Ah don't think ah'd want tah anyway. Ah'll just play it safe, an' act like it's the same as ever."

"A good plan of action, Rogue."

Rogue looked at Remy's face again. She smiled; there was a definite beard now. Not the usual stubble look he affected. His dark brown beard looked sort of cute this way, actually even better than normal! She touched his beard. It felt nicer too, not prickly.

"I'll shave it, cherie. I didn't want t' take time t' while you were in de coma."

"Actually Remy, ah kinda like it. Maybe another time you can grow it out again."

"Maybe." Remy said it like he wasn't terribly thrilled with the idea, but he would do it if she really wanted him too.

Then Rogue glanced at Remy, then looked at Hank, and said,"Hank yah got another patient here, yah bettah make him go tah bed. He's been up fourteen days without sleep."

"Rogue is right, you need your rest, Gambit. I better do some tests, to make sure there are no long lasting ill effects from what you've done. Lay down on that medical bed next to Rogue's."

Remy didn't argue. Not five minutes after he had layed down, and Hank started running tests, Remy fell asleep. Rogue smiled and thought, yah get yoah rest Remy, yoah gonna need it when we start gettin' everythin' ready for our weddin'. Ah wonder if that annulment came through yet!

Hank turned to Rogue and said quietly, "Your affiance will be fine as soon as he gets a few days rest. He has done no permanent damage to himself."

Rogue sighed with relief, then tried to get out of bed, and realized she felt exhausted herself. Hank told her that her body wasn't completely recovered from the rather dramatic change it had just gone through, and that it would be for the best if she had at least one more day of complete bedrest. She sighed again, and asked Hank if he would bring her a book. She knew she wouldn't feel sleepy for hours, and she wanted something quiet to occupy herself, so she wouldn't disturb Remy's much needed sleep.

Then she looked down and saw the quilt, she smiled at Remy, and thought, Ah really love you.

When Hank returned with the book, she told him to stay, and asked him if she could confirm something she suspected. She asked him to bring up her old DNA records on her medical bed's computer.

First she looked at the DNA scan taken right after she joined the X-Men. Then she pulled up Remy's most recent DNA scan and ran a test simulation pitting Remy's recently discovered anti-absorbing gene versus her absorbing power back then. The result were what she suspected. Remy's gene wouldn't have been strong enough then, she would have absorbed his memories, emotions, psyche and powers. Then she ran it for her DNA scan after the second time her power had been temporally disrupted or neutralized after she had joined the X-Men. It took a few seconds, but the result was the same. She ran the test simulation for each DNA scan taken after any power disruption or temporary neutralization, and finally noticed a significant change after the fifth time. If he had known her then and touched her, she wouldn't have absorbed him, but they would have both been briefly knocked unconscious from their powers clashing. After the seventh time the same power clash would have severely nauseated them. After the ninth time a mild nausea and dizziness would have quickly resulted. Then after the eleventh time a mild dizziness wouldn't have struck until over a hour direct physical contact. Finally after the twelfth time her power was temporally disrupted or neutralized, Remy's gene was stronger than hers, and there would have been no adverse reaction at all, for either of them. She had been through three more power disruptions. Since then and when she and Remy discovered for certain that they could touch.

She called Hank over, and in an excited whisper told him what she had discovered. Hank smiled, and then to her surprise, he told her it was a shame no one had thought to run this test, or since they didn't know of Gambit's gene, until very recently; run a test similar to that, but testing for the gene before. It would have saved them much fear and anguish. She nodded, but told him it was,"Okay, y'all were tryin' tah find the cure tah the Legacy Virus, an' when yah found it, yah had tah figure out how tah get it out, an' get enough of it. Besides this extra time gave Remy an' me time tah see our relationship in a maturer manner, devolopin' the emotional side of it." She smiles then and says,"If Remy knew back then that he could touch me, would he have proposed marriage aftah our first kiss?" Rogue didn't know and was glad she didn't have to contemplate it.

She knew that she would marry very soon. Then they would await the birth of their first child. In that same time period she knew that just like Scott and Jean were doing, she and Remy would continue to go on missions with the rest of the X-Men until a month or two before the baby was due.

Then she said to Hank, "Ironic, this old gene that's caused me so much misery, could be so vulnerable." A thought struck her then, what if this baby, or any of our other children we'll eventually have, get this power?

A feeling of dread seeped in, then dissipated when she realized that child wouldn't have her pain, she could help their child or children deal with the power, where she had no one to help her.

Rogue saw a speculative look cross Hank's face. He called up an earlier DNA scan of Remy's and matched to Rogue's most recent DNA scan. The results were different! She would have temporarily absorbed everything! She saw the scan was from one year ago. Then he ran the next scan, from two months ago, this time the gene was active, and the results were the same as now.

"How intriguing, the gene, was latent in the earlier scan, but active in the next. Something activated it, but usually when another mutant gene activates, there are signs: fatigue, nausea, fainting, hallucinations,or even a comatose period. He exhibited none of those symptoms at that time. Another mystery surrounding him, but I do not believe he would be able to supply us with an answer this time." Hank remembered that this scan was done just after Remy was rescued from Candra. It had been done to insure that Candra had not planted any genetic time bombs in Remy, such as the Legacy Virus. A latent mutant gene becoming active was overlooked, because that had not been programmed into this particular scan, because the scan saw it as a natural event. It was simply coded, and not marked.

Based on what Rogue had told them about Candra a couple of years ago, they should have checked for that too. Perhaps Candra used her ability to activate that gene for some reason. I cannot be certain though. Until I discover a way to be certain I will say nothing to Gambit or Rogue. He sighed, and went back to his lab. Another project, that I will eventually have to get around to...

After a glance at Remy, fast asleep in the other medical bed, Rogue picked up her book and started to read. She could tell this was one of Hank's books, it was obviously from his antique book collection, and she couldn't find the title on the outside.

She smiled when she flipped it open to the title page and saw what Hank had picked up for her to read; Elizabeth Barrett Browning's SONNETS FROM THE PORTUGUESE.

Love poetry Elizabeth Browning had written to her husband, immediately after they had finally decided their love was enough to risk everything, and they married and left their country of birth and went to Italy.

She flipped back to see the copywrite date, and wasn't surprised when she looked at the date and saw that this was one of the first mass printings of the book. She looked carefully at the outside of the book and the gold leaf letters of the title had faded from the outside of the book.

When she reopened the book, she saw Hank had written something on the fly leaf."Rogue, or perhaps I should call you Tara here, I want you to have this book as a wedding present for yourself and Remy. I know you know your literary history well enough to know why I chose this for my gift to you both. Congratulations! Hank McCoy."

Tara hugged the book to herself, and looked up, and even though he had already left the room, she said aloud "Thanks Hank."

"What you thanking Hank for, chere?"

Tara looked over,"Oh, ah didn't mean ta wake yah up, Remy. Hank gave us this as a weddin' present."

"What's dat book?"

"SONNETS FROM THE PORTUGUESE, by Elizabeth Barrett Browning."

Remy thought for a minute, then said, "Dat's love poetry right?"

"Yeah."

"Nice present,` night chere."

Tara smiled, Remy would never be a literary scholar, but he was smart enough for her. Besides, he was extremely intelligent in other ways: street smarts, for example, much more than she was. She felt totally ignorant in that area compared to him. He also knew so much more than she did about sexuality, she felt so naive compared to him there! She'd tell Remy the story behind this book of poetry tomorrow, he'd understand then that Hank wasn't just giving it to them because it was love poetry, but because of the correlations between the Brownings' lives and their own. Remy would understand and appreciate the gesture, He rarely was given approval for his actions, when he did something good, but anything bad he did weighed heavily against him. She knew how it was to live like that, she could help him there. It made her feel good that he needed her for something, since she knew that she needed him too.

She knew emotionally she wasn't as strong as she wished she was. That's part o' love, helpin' support each other emotionally. That an' other things, she smirked. Then she laughed, yoah corruptin' me already, Remy LeBeau!

The next morning, shortly after Rogue woke up, and while Remy was still asleep in the next med-bed, Jean came in. Jean smiled at Rogue. "I heard the news, congratuations." Jean said softly, so to not wake Remy.

"Thanks, ah'm real happy about it. Ah'm sorry ah gave y'all such a scare, goin' into the coma an' all."

"Rogue it wasn't your fault, yaehr body jaest couldn't handle getting pregnant at first. Speaking of that, it's nice to have company." Jean smiled again and patted her now quite noticable pregnant stomach.

Rogue was surprised at how much bigger Jean had gotten in the past two weeks. Rogue realized Jean was now five months pregnant. Jean laughed, "Thank godness it's twins, or Scott might have thought I was really packing it on!"

"Do you know yet?"

"Yes, we do. A boy and a girl. We've already picked their names. Not terribly original I'm afraid. Scotia for the girl, the feminine of Scott. John for the boy, the English masculine for my name."

"It's still nice though, the names."

"Thanks, it was Scott's idea."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh." Both woman laughed, that woke up Remy.

"Good t' hear y' laughing, `gin, chere. How y' feeling?"

"Other than some nausea, okay."

"That's yaehr morning sickness. Don't be suprised, if it lasts past maehning." Jean commented. "You need to eat though, all the same. The only things I could stand the while I was going through it was real bland foods."

Remy just barely surpressed saying, dat what she like all de time! Instead he said "I hear dat most woman eat lots of crackers, it's supposed to help some."

"A little. But after 15 days of it, you get real sick of it. I was able to eat some types of geltin too. Oh, one thing that I was able to eat most of the time was chocolate. Just don't eat too much of it at once, it's a natural laxative!" All three of them laughed.

The door to the infirmary opened and everyone else came in to visit and give congratuations, with a bit of good natured teasing about what was going to come first, the wedding or the baby! Remy just laughed but Rogue felt embarassed at that kind of teasing. Logan even said "Glad y' took my advice an' went for it, Rogue." She was so embarrassed! Remy had laughed and laughed when he heard that.

Rogue still wasn't quite comfortable about her sexuality. Any kind of joking that would refer to it made her uncomfortable. Except in private with Remy, or in her own thoughts. Maybe someday she'd be able to joke about it freely, like the others.

Everybody seemed to be real happy for them but Bobby. Even Betsy was smiling. Bobby,though was looking daggers at Remy. He wasn't saying anything but the look he was giving Remy was irritating Rogue. In fact it was irratating her so much she felt nausea strike with a vengence. Jean luckily saw the look on Rogue's face, and quickly TKed something to her that she could use, if it proved necessary. Rogue looked Jean gratefully. Rogue was even more grateful when Jean looked at Bobby angerly. Rogue figured she must have said something to him telepathically, because Bobby looked ashamed, then he grinned at Rogue embarrassedly.

An exhuberant Jubilee burst into the room. "Heard you were awake Rogue, and you're having a kid! Cool!"

Rogue smiled broadly. It was a wonderful experience to see all these people had been concerned about her and were now happy for her.

She noticed the Professor wasn't here though. That hurt, yet it didn't surprise her that much. He had never really paid much attention to her once she joined, or Remy either.

Jubilee saw Kitty and greeted her even more excitedly than Kitty did her. The two had quickly become good friends a year ago, under sad circumstances, Illyanna Rasputin's death. Tara was glad for Jubilee, every girl or woman should have at least one close female friend. Tara finally got one herself a few months ago, Caleen Oikawa.

Caleen wasn't just a therapist, she was a good friend. She was so glad Caleen had helped her get over her fear of even having sex. The fear was still there a little that first night, and truthfully, like Caleen had told her, there would be some things about making love, even with Remy that would still scare her for a while yet. She hoped someone had contacted Caleen.

Almost as if magic had conjured her up the door to the infirmary opened and there was Caleen. Caleen's face was wreathed with a ear to ear smile. With her entrance the ambiance of the room was suddenly quite cheery.

Toshi was there too with Hanna. Professor Xavier was right behind them. He had guided them to the infirmary. Toshi gave Rogue that shy smile that Rogue figured must have melted Caleen's heart. Several of the X-woman looked admiredly at Toshi.

Toshi blushed. It always embarrassed him when women looked at him like he'd be good to eat. Except for Caleen, somehow it never made him uncomfortable when she looked him like that, not even the first time they met. When she looked at him that way it always made him feel so good he had to smile. Little Hanna spoke first of the group,"Grat'lations, Ro chan !" She shouted. She squirmed out of her father's arms and ran to the bed. Thankfully, it was too high for the four year old to reach Rogue, plus Remy had quickly grabbed her and playfully swung Hanna around to distract her.

Hanna squealed with surprise then delight at this new game. Then Remy handed her back to her relieved parents.

Caleen gently reminded Hanna why she wasn't to do that to Rogue. "Hanna chan remember, Rogue has a power that makes it dangerous to touch her skin. Ask her before you hug her."

"I f'rdot. Sum'en Ro chan." Hanna couldn't say the Japanese word for "sorry" ,"sumimasen" correctly yet. She had mastered the Japanese style of nicknames though, the first syllable, or syllables in a long name, of the name and chan. Chan was an endearment in Japanese often used for children or close friends. It meant roughly "dear one".

"It's alright shugah. Thank you." Rogue sighed. An innocent child had been the one to remind her of her most hated power.

Then the Professor spoke. "I must return upstairs." Then he looked at Caleen and Toshi "You will be able to find your way out?" They nodded. Rogue could tell something was being left unsaid. She figured the Professor must have wanted to ask them, yet again if they would reconsider, and join the X-Men, but he hadn't.

Then he looked Rogue and Gambit. "Congratulations." He said gravely. Neither Rogue or Gambit said anything, both just nodded in response. Then he left. Both Toshi and Caleen looked visibly relieved. Then Rogue introduced them to everyone. Ororo looked happy that Rogue now had a good friend. Ororo could immediately tell the two women had developed a close friendship.

Now that the tension in the room had been relieved, it quickly turned into a sort of informal party, with everyone offering to help Rogue and Remy with their wedding, and anything they might need for the baby, and giving all sorts of advice.