My Lords
and Ladies, if you would hear a high tale of daring and adventure, here is that
of the Rats of the Round Table! I am Sir Gareth, Rat of
the Round Table and keeper of strange and ratty tales..or should that be tails?
My story begins with our arrival in a new land....
I first arrived at my new home, which we knights affectionatly refer to as Camelot, in the company of another young knight, Sir Ector. Camelot was a much different place then, best described as...a parrot cage. Already in residence were two much larger rats--Sirs Percival and Demetrus. In the countryside nearby lived a great beast--a dog known to all as Patience. A terrier mix she was, and very affectionate towards us rats. Perhaps TOO affectionate, I often thought, after having to groom dog kisses out my coat.
On the second night of our stay at Camelot, Ector and I discovered that we could easily liberate ourselves by passing between the bars of our new home. A nice change it made, exploring the outside of our abode. But alas, the ever adventurous Sir Ector was not content with that, and soon set out upon a cross-country journey.
'Twas early the next morning that our King, Jeffrey, noticed the absence of one of his newest knights. He searched the coutryside, but to no avail. Later, even Queen Juli joined the search, but still there appeared no sign of the errant knight.
Shortly after noon, Patience was heard to be "fussing" in that area of the countryside we know as "the bar". After a brief search, Sir Ector was found to be under the refrigerator. His harrowing ordeal had caused Ector to be in quite a state, and would not be lured out. The queen decided it was time to send a knight to the rescue!
Without hesitation, Sir Demetrus sallied forth into the hostile lands under the fridge. Sir Ector was immediately heartened to be in the company of a familiar knight! Once Sir Demetrus had fully surveyed the lands of "The Fridge", he reported his findings to the King and Queen; including his discovery of the joyful Sir Ector. After several coaxings from Sir Demietrus that no feline beasts were to be found outside the lands of the fridge, he escorted Sir Ector to the safety and affection of the King and Queen. Sir Demetrus was well rewarded for his quest into the land of the fridge with a grape, while the queen smothered Ector with attention. After his perilous adventure into the lands beyond, Ector was truly content to stay in (or at least on) Camelot! And meanwhile brave Sir Demetrus is still modestly insisting that he's no hero, we all know better.
Demetrus (left) and Percival face the great beast Patience.
The other night after happily feasting on chicken legs for his dinner, the King chose to reward his knights with the scraps of his repas. Having but two bones and four knights, the King chose to serve all four knights from the same platter known as "the TV tray". Unfortunately, "sharing" is not a common act of ratty-chivalry.
The first to receive favor from his King was Sir Demetrus. Demetrus feared his bounty would quickly be stolen from his grasp and hurriedly ran to what he believed to be an easily defendable cliff. Poor Sir Demetrus forgot the fearless nature of the beast Patience. When Demetrus stopped with the bone hanging off the edge of the cliff, the beast immediately grabbed the other end of the bone. After a brief tug-of war, the King ordered the contest to an end and put the bone back on the platter, where Demetrus was now content to sit and eat.
Sir Ector (still the smallest, but one of the most fearless knights) was the next to go on the platter, and chose the same battle plan as Demetrus. Unfortunately, the treasured chicken bone had more butt-weight than little Ector, so when he dangled the bone off the side of the tray, it pulled him right off into the abbyss below! Both Ector and his prize went bouncing onto the carpet. Once returned to the tray, Ector was content to sit still and nibble, too. Even Mallory couldn't write stuff funnier than these rats come up with on their own!
Some quests--such as conquering a bowl of cereal--need the cooporation of many knights. From the left--Sirs Gareth, Demetrus, Ector, and Percival.
hi Ector hear.
jus wantd 2 sae i m not tha lettlest rat hear n-e mor. tha kng an kwean gots a lettle buger namd Tristan. thay think he iz so kute butt i jus think he sleapz al tha tyme. Percival seams 2 lik him cuz wen Gareth noked him doun n tryd 2 powr gruum him, Percival noked doun Gareth n gruumed him! Wee let Tristan sleap in r rat pile las nite n i gess itz ok 2 hav him az a pilo.
Las nite tha KAT jumpd up on tha kofe tabl wial wee wer on tha cowch an it wuz vrry skary. Tristan wuz no help at al i kan tell u.
that iz al.
Well, Ector is certainly a knight of unquestionable bravery, but he does prove that the pen is not always mightier than the sword.... Anyhow, here is a picture of me showing Tristan how to get around the kingdom.
After we had been in our new home for a few weeks, the King decided that we needed a new and better castle. So he built Camelot! To see pictures of our wonderful home (and learn how to build a castle for YOUR rats, just click on the castle to the left.
Most of us arrived at Camelot as young squires. But we were joined for a time by a seasoned Knight, the mighty Sir Arnold. He had many a perilous quest under his knightly belt before ever we met. Hear what we know of his tale by clicking his picture at the right.
We couldn't stay little forever. Click on this picture to see how big and handsome we have become!
Sure, becoming a Rat of the Round Table is a difficult feat. All that jousting and questing and grogging and wenching....er ...ummm ...anyhow, it's a great honor. By comparison, it was much easier to earn the Wererat's Award for Cleverness. But when you click on the award below, you will see why we were so honored to receive the award. Oh, before you go, you may want to take a quick dose of wolvesbane, and unlimber that vorpal blade...
In case there are any humans reading who are not certain about how WONDERFUL it is to have your own rat, you better read this Rats as Pets page. It also contains a link to a cool Finnish rat site!
Now that those smelly humans are gone, I'd like to recommend to all my fellow rats that they read A Rat's Guide to Responsible Human Ownership. I know, they seem so simple, but trust me you have more to learn.
Even the bravest of Knights sometimes needs to hear a good bedtime story. Our favorite one is Noah's Story. It's about a rat, NOT a guy who builds boats!
If you want to learn some more about rats (peasant rats, not royalty like us), we heartily recommend bclee's Rats.
A Rat Shower!
-- How to welcome new ratties to your casttle!
Meet the New Rats
of the Round Table
Meet our cool
rabbit friend--Lord Hausenpfeffer
