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Title: The Breaks, part 13
Author:  Whiteoaks
Date: March, 2005
Fandom:  X-Files
Pairing: M/Sk
Category: h/c, slash
Status: WIP
Feedback: whiteoaks@writeme.com
Series/Sequel: The Breaks
Disclaimers:  there's minor spanking mentioned and a swat or two
Summary: As Walter and Mulder grow closer, Walter starts to rebuild his ties to his family

Notes:   see http://slashingmulder.com/DisciplineWriters/Whiteoaks/whiteoaks for earlier parts of the story

Major thanks to Jo for her beta work.


Walter woke as Mulder shifted his weight to get out of bed.  He looked up and smiled.

"Hey," Mulder said when he noticed.  "I was hoping to let you sleep a little longer.  How are you feeling?"   Maybe Walter would be okay with last night's activity after all.  He leaned over and helped Walter out of the slings.

"Pretty good.  What time is it?  Can you get my glasses?" he asked as he looked around the night table for his glasses.  He saw the towel Mulder had used to clean him during the night.  He flashed back to Ned holding him while Mulder went to make hot chocolate.

"Oh, no."

"What?"  Mulder sat back on the bed.  "What's wrong?"

"Ned couldn't help but see that towel last night.  See it and smell it.  He has to know we did something sexual."  Walter couldn't look Mulder in the eyes.

"So what?  He knew we were attracted to each other.  We told him that yesterday and he didn't have any problems with it."  This was more like the reaction he had expected.  He wondered whether Skinner was more upset with what they did or with his brother knowing they did 'something'.

"I… I know that, but still…," Walter couldn't explain how he felt.

Mulder pulled him closer and wrapped his arm around the miserable man.  "Walter, look at me.  Walter, please?"

Skinner finally lifted his eyes to meet Mulder's.

"Are you upset about our cuddling last night?  Did I move too fast?"  Maybe if he took the guilt on himself Walter would feel better.

Walter shook his head.  "No, not really.  I was remembering that when I first woke up and it made me happy."

"That's why you were smiling?"

"Yeah."  Walter pulled away from Mulder and sat up fully.  "You made me feel good last night, Fox.  Not just physically, but about myself, too.  I don't regret what we did."  He waited while he watched Mulder consider what he had said and accepted it.  "When I thought about it before last night I wasn't sure I could handle having a physical relationship with a man.  Now I know I can, as long as you are the man.  I, I guess I'm upset about the nightmare and having Ned see just how helpless I am."  He smiled and Mulder felt his guilt disappear.  "He's my big brother.  I've always felt like I had to measure up to him; that I needed his approval.  I can't imagine what he thinks of me now."

"I don't think Ned would think any less of you because you had a nightmare."  Mulder stood and started to walk to the bathroom.  "I think you're not giving your brother enough credit."  He stopped at the doorway.  "I really need to use the bathroom now.  As soon as I'm done I'll help you.  Then, we can ask Ned how he feels.  Okay?"

"I guess," Walter mumbled somewhat sullenly.

"Walter?"  Mulder crossed his arms.  "I wonder if a smack or two to the butt would bring you out of a sulk as well as it does a nightmare?"

Walter sat up straight and responded quickly, "That's not necessary. It's okay.  Whatever you said.  Just hurry up, will ya?  I need to use the john, too."

Mulder smiled to himself as he entered the bathroom.  He'd meant the comment as a joke, not a threat; but then he'd had no idea a threat could work so well and so fast.   He stored that fact for further consideration; it just might come in handy in the weeks to come.

**

Ned had just finished turning on the coffee maker when Mulder and Skinner entered the kitchen.  "I hope you don't mind.  I need coffee to jump start my brain in the morning."

"No problem, I'm the same way," Mulder reassured him.  "Admittedly I haven't been around too often when Walter first wakes up; mostly it's been when we're working around the clock on something at the bureau, but he seems to wake up ready for anything.  Of course,  I've never known him to turn down coffee when it's offered at those times."

"I think he gets that from our father.  Dad was always up and busy while Mom was feeling her way to the coffee pot.  That is on a normal morning.  If something happened during the night, Mom was up and taking care of it while Dad would still be asleep.  It was like Dad's consciousness was programmed for certain times of the day while Mom could take care of emergencies but if she knew she had to get up and face the day she needed coffee first."

"You know, you're right," Walter said with some amazement.  "I never thought about it like that.  I mean, I know that Mom was always the one who got up if we were sick, or if one of us was trying to sneak in late.  Dad never seemed to notice anything between the time he went to bed and when it was time for him to get up."  He laughed.  "Remember when that tree limb crashed through the living room window?  Everyone but Dad woke up because of the noise.  It got even noisier as we all gathered in the living room what with everyone talking at once and a couple of the little ones crying.  Mom finally told me to go jump on Dad and not to stop until he was awake.  She wasn't kidding either.  I shook him and yelled and finally bounced up and down on him before he woke up.  Then I had to tell him three times what had happened before he actually understood me."

Ned had joined in the laughter.  "I do remember that.  Mom sent you to wake him because she knew you wouldn't quit until he was awake and out of bed.  She sent Frankie and the younger kids into the kitchen so they wouldn't get cut.  Then the rest of us helped her with cleaning up the mess.  When you came down with Dad she sent you out to the kitchen while Dad went to get his tools and some boards to nail over the window.  When he came back, she went out to the kitchen to start the coffee and to make sure you and the rest of the kids weren't scared.  Instead, she found you reading a book to the little ones as if nothing unusual had happened.  I heard her tell Dad later "our solid little old man had everything under control"."  He looked at Mulder.  "Our folks called Walter an old man almost as much as they called him a worry wart.  Mom insisted Wart had been born worrying about everyone else; that he couldn't be happy unless everyone else was."  He smiled fondly at Walter.  "Some things haven't changed, have they Wart?"

Walter was staring at the table and didn't answer.

Ned walked over and put his arm around Walter's shoulders.  "You still try to take care of us by not telling us when things aren't going well for you, don't you?"

Walter shrugged.  "I just don't want to upset anyone."

"There's something you need to know, Wart.  We worry more when you don't tell us what's gong on than we would if we knew.  Mom used to be able to wear you down until you told her what was wrong."  Ned pulled Walter closer and draped his other arm around Walter's back.  He bent his knees slightly so that he was eye to eye with Walter, their foreheads touching.  "Frankie and I were talking last week.  She's very worried about you.  We both realized you've hardly seen any of us since Mom and Dad died.  We're still your family, little brother."  He squeezed Walter's shoulder and then walked back to the cupboards.   He knew he had to give Walter time to think over what he'd said.

"I'll get out the coffee mugs.  What else do we need for breakfast?"

Mulder opened the refrigerator.  "We've got plenty of eggs.  How about scrambled eggs, toast and juice?"

"Sounds good," Ned answered.  They started to prepare breakfast as Walter sat in his chair at the table.  Between last night with Fox and Ned's comments that morning, he had a lot to think about.

**

Mulder finished cleaning the kitchen after breakfast.   He knew Walter was in the living room and decided to see if he was ready to talk.  He found him standing, staring out the balcony door.

"Anything interesting out there?"

Walter turned as Mulder spoke.  "No, I was just thinking."

Mulder stepped close and pulled Walter against him.  "Anything you'd like to share?"

"I guess.  Actually, can you get Ned?  I'd like to talk to him now as well."

"Sure, I'll go get him.  Do you want anything?  I can stop in the kitchen on my way back."

"Water would be good. I need to visit the john as well."

"Let's take care of that first."  Mulder placed an arm around Skinner as they headed to the bathroom.  He could feel how tense Walter was.  "It’s going to be okay, you know,"
he reassured Walter.  "Quit being such a worry wart," he added, relieved when he saw Walter smile in response.

**

Mulder carried the usual tray into the living room where Walter and Ned were sitting uncomfortably on the couch.  He placed the tray on the coffee table and sat next to Walter.  As he poured a glass of water he sought to alleviate some of the tension and said, "You've both mentioned your sister Frankie and that you have other siblings.  Walter, you said you had a couple of brothers and sisters but the story you told about the tree limb crashing through the window made it sound like there's a lot more than that.  Just how many kids are in your family?"

Ned smiled and answered.  "That's a good question.  Wart and I actually have only two sisters and one brother.  The reason it sounds like there's so many of us is because my folks raised several of our cousins as well as the five of us."

Walter added, "I'm actually the fourth of my parents' children, but with my cousins added in I ended up being in the middle. Only one of the five cousins who lived with us is older than I am."

"Five cousins plus the five of you?  That's ten kids.  How did you end up living together?"  Mulder shook his head and said, "I'm sorry if I'm being too nosy.  I just can't imagine growing up with that many kids.  Your parents had to be overwhelmed at times."


"It was pretty hectic but we got used to it fast.  As Mom said more than once, we were a family and we belonged together.  She and Dad went without new coats for several years and a lot of our clothes were mended and patched, but we never really wanted for anything.  A few more bathrooms would have been nice, though," Walter said.

"Yeah, I hated having to wait to use the bathroom," Ned added.  "At least there were no babies or toddlers.  Diapers and potty training would have been horrible."  He looked at Mulder as he continued.  "Our cousins were staying with us while their parents and our grandparents went on a trip together.  It was just for a week.  My parents said they would watch the kids so the adults could have a quiet vacation.  They were flying up to Maine.  It was early fall and they planned on doing sight seeing and just relaxing.  Mom and Dad had volunteered since school had already started.  We all lived in the same area so we went to the same schools.  Our younger uncle and his wife had been having a rough time of it and our grandparents thought it would be good for them to have some time to themselves without having to deal with their kids.  Our other aunt had fallen and miscarried that summer and needed some time to heal mentally as well as physically.  It was a spur of the moment thing when my grandfather won a trip for two and everyone thought it would be a good idea for all three couples to go.  They could sight see together during the day and have private time to themselves at night.  From the two phone calls we got that week it sounded like they were having a great time.  Their plane crashed on the way home.  There was never a question about what would happen to my cousins.  I think arranging the funerals and getting the kids moved in permanently helped Mom and Dad work through the initial shock and grief.  Dad later said it had been important that he and Mom were able to do something.  I think we were all in shock for the rest of that year."

"Yeah, it was rough going for a while there.  I remember Mom and Dad assigning each of us a cousin as a buddy.  We did things together and just made sure no one got overlooked or felt left out while things got settled.  Walter smiled when Mulder held up a glass of water.  He finished about half the glass before he continued.  "I got Tommie for my buddy. I wasn't sure what to do at first.  She wasn't like Sarah or Frankie.  Tommie was pure tomboy and didn't want any comforting.  She didn't want to talk.  She would climb trees and dare me to climb after her.  I was sure she was going to fall and break a bone or kill herself.  I was a nervous wreck."

"And you didn't ask for help, did you?"  Ned asked softly.  "You just kept climbing after her and hoping for the best.  That is until she punched you and pushed you out of a tree for treating her like a baby when you tried to wrap your handkerchief around her arm where she had scrapped it on the tree.  I remember hearing Mom gasp and seeing Dad run when they saw you hit the ground.  But by the time Dad got there you had dusted yourself off and climbed back up after Tommie.  You grabbed her, threw her over your shoulder and hauled her back down to the ground.  Then you yelled at her.  I don't think any of us had ever heard you yell like that.  Then, when she burst into tears, you sat down and held her in your lap and rocked her until she fell asleep.  After that you could do no wrong as far as Tommie was concerned.  I think most of us received a bruise or two when she felt we were picking on you."

Walter couldn't quite meet his brother's gaze.  "Yeah, I was so scared I didn't know what to do.  I knew she needed to let go of some of her anger although I wouldn't have been able to explain that with those words then.  I just knew I had to keep close to her.  I was so afraid something bad was going to happen to her.  She was my buddy to take care of and I didn't want to bother Mom or Dad.  They had enough to deal with at the time.  She was my responsibility."

"Wart?"  Ned called softly and waited for Walter to look at him.  "You've got to quit thinking you have to handle everything by yourself.  Asking for help when you need it is nothing to be ashamed of, you know that."

"I guess."  Walter smiled shyly.  "I've certainly had to ask for help a lot these last few days."

"I think it's been good for you.  I just wish you felt like you could have told the family you needed help."

"You guys have your own lives.  You've got families and jobs.  Besides, I wouldn't have gotten to know Mulder like I have if I'd asked one of you for help."

Ned wrapped an arm around Walter's neck and tugged him into his lap.  "You still could have told us what happened," he said as he quickly swatted his brother's butt and let him go.

Walter sat up.  His face was bright red.  "I'm sorry!  I'll try to do better, honest."

Ned and Mulder laughed.  "Ned, it looks like you've found a way to get through to him."

"Yeah, I should have remembered that's how Mom used to bring him out of his funks.  I'll have to remind Frankie when I call her."

"Do you have to call her?" Walter asked.  As Ned started to move toward him again he quickly added, "I mean, do you have to tell her that?  It's okay if you tell her everything else."

"Even about you and Mulder?" Ned waited and watched for his brother's response.  He figured Walter had relaxed enough that it was now time to talk about the developing relationship.