A Matter of Choice
A Fear Effect fanfic
By Kristin Renee Taylor

Hana launched upright, gasping in terror, the horrible words still echoing in her brain. Her heart slammed almost painfully into her ribs. She stared wildly around her, searching for the Immortal, the glowing passage that would allow her to escape...

The only thing she saw was her bedroom, colors bleached and shadows dulled by the moonlight filtering through the closed drapes. As her breathing returned to normal, she drew her legs up and rested her forehead against the cool sheet covering her knees. She was soaked with sweat, her dank tank top clung to her skin. She could smell it: bitter and acrid. Fear sweat. She squeezed her eyes shut.

A dream. A nightmare, really. The same nightmare that had plagued her since...

"That dream again, huh?"

She sighed, softly and heavily. Opening her eyes, she glanced at her lover. "Was I too loud?"

"No more than usual." She sat up, long blonde hair sliding forward to cover bare breasts. She regarded Hana solemnly. "This is the fifth time this month, Hana. I'm getting worried."

Hana swung her legs onto the floor. "You worry too much."

"And you don't worry enough." A light flicked on, and Hana squinted against the sudden bright light. While her eyes adjusted, her lover said, "Maybe you should see a doctor."

Hana stood. "I don't need to see a doctor." She stripped her damp clothes off and tossed them by the clothes hamper.

"Well, maybe you should. This obsession with a fictional woman-"

"She isn't a figment of my imagination!" Hana said sharply, rounding on the other woman. "She's real, I know it!"

Her lover's eyes, dark blue, sparkled angrily, but her voice was completely neutral. "Hana, we've already been through this. We've discussed this. You told me you had accepted the fact that she is not real."

Hana glared at her, then spun away, towards her closet. She pulled out some clothes. "I lied."

"You lied to me? Hana-"

Without turning, Hana spat out, "I don't want to hear this right now."

Her lover was done trying to understand her. "You damn well better hear this. Hana, you need help. Professional help. It isn't normal for a person to go around thinking that there's something wrong with the universe. That everything's wrong because of something they did." Her lover's voice grew in frustration and anger. "And it sure as hell isn't normal for a woman to believe that she's really this big, bad-ass assassin when she's not! You're a teacher, Hana. An English teacher at a local high school, and that is all you'll ever be. Why the hell won't you see that?"

"Because it's not who I am!" Hana shouted back. Fully dressed, she turned and gestured around her. "This, all of this, is a lie. A big, fat lie. A lie that I created! I don't know how, and I don't know why, but somehow something I did created this 'reality' and now I've got to find a way out of here. I've got find way back to her. She needs me."

Her lover had stood, the sheet wound around her nakedness. She glared at Hana. "Now I see why your parents disowned you. You're nuts.

"The whole freakin' world revolves around you, huh? So you're God now, huh? Should I bow down and worship you, oh mighty Hana? Or would you prefer this?" She let the sheet drop to the floor and started fondling her breasts. "Does this please you, my goddess?"

Hana trembled, but with anger or fear she couldn't tell. "Stop it."

"Why?" Her lover said. Grinning maliciously, she slid her a hand between her legs. "Don't you like it when I do this?"

"No!"

She laughed cruelly, but stopped. "Poor little Hana, you're so confused." Naked, she walked up to Hana. Her eyes bored into Hana's, and smiled knowingly. "I look like her, don't I?"

Hana's voice was faint. She couldn't look away. "...yes."

"And I sound like her, too, don't I?"

"...yes." The admission made her feel sick.

Her lover reached up and slid her arms around Hana's neck. She pressed herself against Hana's body. "And I feel like her, too, don't I?"

"God..."

"Don't I?"

"...yes!"

She smiled, slightly. Leaning up, she brushed a kiss against Hana's ear and whispered, "Then, stay here with me." Her breath was hot against Hana's cheek. "I'll make you forget all about this other woman..."

Hana closed her eyes. "I'm sorry, Rain."

The report of the gun was muffled. Rain jerked back, glanced down at the gun pressed between them, at her stomach. Her eyes widened with alarm and fury. "Bitch..." And then she collapsed, dead.

Hana dropped the gun. She stared down at the body of her former lover for a moment, silent. Then she turned towards the bed. "How dare you do that to me? Or to her?!" She glared at the empty air with intense loathing. "If you weren't already dead, I'd kill you myself!"

Darkness gathered above the bed, forming an indistinct shape resembling a floating black cape and cowl. It's voice was devoid of emotion. "Then you have changed your mind?"

"Yes, damn it! Earth can go to Hell for all I care!

"I choose Rain."

Fin.

Author's Note:

Inspired by, of all things, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer and the Max Payne 2 ending song Late Goodbye. This story is based off of the final puzzle (well, not quite a puzzle) in Fear Effect 2, namely when Hana has to choose between Rain and her parents (and the subsequent emotional breakdown if you go the parent route), and the "what-if" implied therein.

And now that I've written this, I'm even more pissed off at Eidos...

Disclaimer: Hana Tsu-Vaschel, Rain Qin, and the Immortal are all owned by... um... *checks her notes* Huh. I guess it's Eidos, and not necessarily Kronos Digital. Which sucks majorly. I'd like to think Alternate Rain is mine, but we all know that probably isn't true... which also sucks.