Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt". Now, You can handle the situation.
Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee-deep Schitt, Inc.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, The twins; Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married for 15 years Jack and Noe divorced. Noe later married Mr. Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a cowardly son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and consequently, married the Happens brothers in dual ceremony.
The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now, when someone say's you don't know Jack Schitt, you can correct them.
Corporate Condoms
Which Condom would you use?
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Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.
Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.
Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.
Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.
Flinstones Vitamins Condom Pack: Ten million strong and growing.
Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but ph balanced for a woman.
Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, it's that simple.
Ford Condoms: The best never rest.
Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.
Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?
New York Lotto Condoms: 'Cause hey -- you never know.
California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?
Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.
EverReady Condoms: Keeps going and going ...
KFC Condoms: Finger-lickin' good.
Coca Cola Condoms: Always the Real Thing.
Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just one.
Campbells Soup Condoms: Mmm, mmm good.
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