Many of you may be asking, "What the bloody smeggin hell is an Eskadohr?" Well here's the answer...
Eskadohr grew up in the wilderness from the day he was born. Because of the disappointment his parents felt when he showed his face for the first time, Eskadohr's parents (who remain unknown) threw him into the woods and drove away. A pack of wolves found the Eskadohr infant, planning to eat him, but refrained from doing so due to his horrid odor. Until the age of ten, the pack of wolves raised Eskadohr as one of their own, often times trying to mate with him, and vise versa. He then left his home with the wolves to pursue his dream of one day winning the most sought after prize in wrestling, the Milani Belt. By the age of 13, he became a wrestler who had a lot of heart, but unfortunately little skill or potential. Knowing no one in his new and unfamiliar home, Eskadohr was depressed and lonely until he found Mr. Socko, a stinky old sock puppet. He and Mr. Socko became fast friends and Mr. Socko introduced him to sugar. Eskadohr, who had never eaten anything but dog food, was afraid at first, but soon found himself eating sugar nonstop. Sugar gave him the strength and speed that he needed. He quickly moved to the top of World's Crappiest Wrestling, winning the championship in an amazing handicap match, where Eskadohr was pitted against both Darth Vader and the Leprechaun at the same time. The door was now open for Eskadohr's dream to come true. Continuing on his diet of only sugar, Eskadohr crushed any wrestler that came before him. Then his time came. Eskadohr was entered in a "Drink the V8" match against the champion, Y2Julian, at Smiggity Summerslam, for the Milani Belt. Eskadohr removed Mr. Socko from his crotch, out of his pants, slipped him onto his hand, and stuffed it right into Y2Julian's mouth, forcing him to tap out. Eskadohr achieved his dream of becoming the Milani Champ and celebrated in victory, still unable to speak proper English.
Where the bloody smeggin hell is Eskadohr now?
No one knows. When Eskadohr was called, there was no answer. Nothing but his clothes, bracelets, his hard earned Milani Belt, and his best friend Mr. Socko were found, leaving us to believe that Eskadohr is running around naked somewhere. But where? Perhaps he has fled to his family of wolves after finding out that he was being sold on eBay, or perhaps he was abducted by aliens who derive pleasure from probing his rectum, or he may just be taking a long potty break. No one is sure. Or cares. So oh well.
All that remains of the legendary Eskadohr