Tears Till The End.

Jubilee felt almost uncomfortable as she roller-skated down the driveway of Professor X's mansion. She hadn't been there for so long, and considered for a moment that maybe she had lost her instinct of skating down that driveway ever since she left the team. It all seemed so unfamiliar to her now, as if she were invading a stranger's property. But she couldn't be--- could she?
BlahBlah Nah. She popped her gum and stood in front of the mansion's doors. Just the same as always. Like the good 'ol days. Nothing could ever change.
BlahBlah She rang the doorbell.
BlahBlah A few minutes later, the door opened.
BlahBlah "Hi! Guess who's---" Jubilee cut her own words off and suddenly swallowed her gum in shock.
BlahBlah She had never seen Cannonball like this. He was cute, as always, but his expression was one she had never, ever saw him wear. His eyes were so large--- so freakin' large--- and shined with heavy anguish. She saw them water, and she knew he was struggling desperately to hold back tears. His mouth shook slightly and jaw throbbed, and she knew instantly he had been sobbing. She could hear his heart pounding, and could see the rapid rise and fall of his chest. Small sweat drops clung to the side of his head. Something was wrong. Deathly wrong.
BlahBlah "Sam..." she started to say.
BlahBlah "Ya came at the wrong time, girly," Marrow's voice piped up behind him.
BlahBlah "What's going on?!" Jubilee demanded fiercely.
BlahBlah "Jubilee," a soft voice emerged. A tall figure moved its way past Sam and Sarah and approached Jubilee. It was Storm, with the same visage as Cannonball, and with all her regal grandeur faded, veiled with the sorrow that lay on her face.
BlahBlah "Please, come inside, child," Ororo said quietly. She lead Jubilee into the living room and slowly sat down into a chair, wiping away her tears with a tissue.
BlahBlah Jubilee practically stumbled all the way, stunned. She was so appalled she didn't even care that she was called a "child." Instead she felt concern. Storm was a strong, independent woman--- what was with her?
BlahBlah As she sat down into her own chair, Jubilation bit her lip. Whatever was up, she had to help Ororo through it.
BlahBlah "J-Jubilee," Storm uttered. Tears streamed down her face. "I-- it's Logan. He--- he was in an accident--- this morning. He--- he was killed before his healing power could react. W-we we were going to tell you---"
BlahBlah It didn't matter now. Nothing mattered.
BlahBlah Jubilee was not conscious anymore. All she did, was run.
BlahBlah She ran outside, outside into the free, free world. Free of worry. Free of guilt. Free of pain.
BlahBlah She shut the double doors behind her, hard, and leaned against them, trying to slow down her towering tears and flitting heart.
BlahBlah She forced herself not to believe what she just heard. Logan couldn't be... no, he wasn't. It was all made up; it had to be. It was all just a fake. Yeah, just a prank. They wanted to greet her with a joke, that's all. They were just pretending.
BlahBlah She covered her face with her hands. "It's not real," she mumbled between sobs. "Please say it ain't real!"
BlahBlah There was no answer, only an echo...
BlahBlah An echo that started out strong...
BlahBlah And faded, slowly...
BlahBlah DYING...
BlahBlah Who was she trying to kid? Why was she trying to deny it all? She knew it was the truth, yet she refused to grasp it. Why couldn't she handle this, face-to-face, like the way she did when she discovered the killer of her parents? Even she didn't know. Part of her wanted so desperately to admit it for herself, and yet the other part of her begged not to confront it. Where was she, the cool, mature teen who could handle every damn thing in the world?
BlahBlah She saw her tears fall on one particular spot on the ground. She swept away those tears, and saw three deep, straight markings pierced in the cement.
BlahBlah And she knew exactly what they were. Wolvie's claws... she slowly moved her eyes over those lines, perusing every scratch, and every detail in them. Logan... how could he just die like that?! How could he just leave, jumping into a world where he didn't have to decide, to make choices, to feel the hurt, and leave everyone else, everyone who cared so much about him, to cry and mourn and lament for him?! What the hell gave him that right, that dignity, to torment them so?
BlahBlah "It's all your fault, Wolverine!" she heard herself yelling, "I hate you!"
BlahBlah Jubilee knew she was going insane. She knew she was out of her mind. And she demanded herself to stop. But her instinct was now stronger than the rest of her.
BlahBlah Didn't he think, just for one friggin' moment, what she would have thought? What she would feel? How she would react? How could he be so blind, so ignorant, so cruel? She believed in him, looked up to him, loved him like a father. And what does he do? He goes and kills himself off, taking with him her belief, her will, and her heart. He left her only with grief. And remorse. And rage.
BlahBlah No... it wasn't his fault. The poor man DIED! What had gotten in to her?
BlahBlah Then she knew. She knew whose fault it had been.
BlahBlah Hers.
BlahBlah If only she were there for him. If only she hadn't left the X-Men. She could have saved him. She could have helped him. Or at least, she could have been able to spend more time with him before he died.
BlahBlah What had she done?
BlahBlah She curled up into a ball and hugged herself close. Her fault. She let the tears swell up in her eyes, and released them only when she couldn't take it anymore. It was all her fault. If it wasn't for her... Logan would be back at home... happy... and alive.
BlahBlah She still remembered so vividly--- and so painfully--- all the memories she had with Wolverine. All those gorgeous, beautiful memories. She remembered how he had helped her. She remembered all the adventures they've been on together, the enemies they've fought, the victories they had savored together. She remembered how he lifted her, up to her dreams and wishes, and how he gave her a stool to stand on, and a shoulder to cry on. True, he rarely opened his heart. But she had always known it was in there. She had felt it. The way she had felt his aching, his suffering, and his pain.
BlahBlah And now he was gone. Just gone. Vanished.
BlahBlah And part of her went with him.
BlahBlah She wanted to kill herself for what she had done. It was only right. And how could she live with herself, with that burden on her arms, the regret in her eyes, and her soul light years away from her? How could she live, knowing that every day that passed, and every second that flew by, that Logan would not be there for her, and that she was the one who let that happen? How could she live, knowing that whenever she looked in the mirror, she would see the face of the one who betrayed him and let him die?
BlahBlah She had only been sitting there for a few minutes, but to her, it felt like hours. A large puddle of tears--- her tears--- had formed near her, and she could even see her own reflection. Another tear slithered down her cheek and fell into the puddle, shattering the image of her, and everything around it...
BlahBlah ... But then it reformed again. It was different now, yes. But it was still there...
BlahBlah Now she knew. It wasn't Logan's fault. Nor was it her fault. Or the X-Men's, for that matter.
BlahBlah She peered up at the sky, at noticed it was sunset. A lovely, illuminated plethora of colors, from orange to pink, and filled with crimson and scarlet ribbons. A stunning, golden horizon, and a grand, divine sun, sliding gradually beneath the hills.
BlahBlah And then that sun disappeared. But it would come back around again. She knew Logan would never return, but his spirit would still be there for her, the way the sun would. It was be there tomorrow, and the next day, and the next... she knew he'd want her to keep going on, and to muster up the will to continue.
BlahBlah She knew he would be proud.

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