Hey, you found us... so, what do you need? Someone steal some data from ya, and you're sore over it? Need to steal someone's data? Some megacorp got you on the run, and you'd like your face removed from their database? We can help ya.

Aside from all the legit, mamby-pamby, crap that we've been pulling as our very lucrative front operation, we just wanted to make sure that everyone realized that Mr. Elf has not forgotten the little people out there... since in the eyes of corporate life, I'm still one of 'em. Need a run in ole cyberspace? Drop me a line, or ask around for Joanne, she'll set you up with one of my deckers. If you've got the right price, heck, I'll hack your best friend's uncle's dog's computer...

Oh, just so you know, chummer... I've got morals... believe it or not, but I do ask questions... you want a low-life street-licking dreck-head with whale feces for brains to nuke someone over a little grudge, then think again... I've got a rep, after all...