Three Bald Guys Review
The Powerpuff Girls
(Theme music fades, the lights rise to show PICARD, GARIBALDI and TEAL'C in their usual seats on the theater balcony.)
GARIBALDI: Hello, and welcome to "Three Bald Guys Review...". I'm Michael Garibaldi of "Babylon 5".
TEAL'C: I am Teal'c, of "Stargate SG-1".
PICARD: And I'm Jean-Luc Picard of "Star Trek: The Next Generation".
GARIBALDI: Today, we're taking a look at an offering from the Cartoon Network, a spiffy show called "The Powerpuff Girls".
TEAL'C: Technically, this series isn't science fiction, but it does have elements of science fiction in it--sort of. Particularly in the method of the Girls' creation. It is actually a super-heroic show, but...
PICARD: Oh, who cares? This is our review show, and we'll review whatever we please!
GARIBALDI: Yeah! Anyway, the premise of the series, as explained at the beginning of each episode, is that Professor Utonium mixed up a concoction of sugar, spice and everything nice, in the hopes of creating the perfect little girl. But he accidentally added an extra ingredient--Chemical X. After the resulting explosion, the Professor found he'd created three super-powered little girls--Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup--who use their "ultra super powers" to fight crime and the forces of evil in the city of Townsville.
TEAL'C: And they are just cute as can be!
PICARD: Especially that little Bubbles. She is just ADORABLE!
GARIBALDI: Well, I personally like Buttercup best, with that kick-butt-and-take-names attitude of hers.
TEAL'C: (shakes his head) Blossom is clearly the superior of the sisters. The team would fall apart without her leadership.
GARIBALDI: (shrugs) Well, to each his own. At any rate, the show, as Teal'c mentioned, is a fun superheroic romp, as the girls face off against such evils as the monkey mastermind Mojo Jojo, the hillbilly menace Fuzzy Lumpkins, and the all-consuming evil of...Him.
(Menacing music plays briefly in the background).
GARIBALDI: Him, of course, basically being the devil. But you've never seen the devil quite like this.
PICARD: No doubt. We haven't seen a gender-bending fiend like this since Dr. Frank-n-Furter.
(GARIBALDI jumps to his feet; PICARD scowls at him.)
PICARD: If you start doing the Time Warp, I swear I'll smack you.
(GARIBALDI sits back down with a pout.)
TEAL'C: And let us not forget the Girls' supporting cast. Aside from the Professor, there's the imbecilic mayor of Townsville--named, appropriately enough, Mayor; the mayor's brainy assistant, Miss Sara Bellum; and the Girls' kindergarten teacher, Miss Keane.
GARIBALDI: The writing on this show is top-notch; clever and cute in just the right amounts. It certainly gets my vote as the best show on the Cartoon Network--and believe me, ever since my cable system finally upgraded, I've been watching a LOT of the Cartoon Network. I'm sure some of that's because we've been trapped in summer rerun doldrums and there's not much else on...but mostly it's because the Cartoon Network is simply THE GREATEST NETWORK THAT WAS EVER CONCEIVED.
PICARD: No argument there, Michael. I think this may in fact be the best cartoon currently on the air, anywhere.
GARIBALDI: (smiling into the camera) Folks, in case you can't tell, I give "The Powerpuff Girls" my highest recommendation. Five stars from me. J.L. ?
PICARD: I also give it five out of five stars. Watch this one, folks. Teal'c?
TEAL'C: Five stars from me, as well. Superlative programming.
GARIBALDI: So, until next time, I'm Michael Garibaldi...
TEAL'C: I am Teal'c...
PICARD: And I'm Jean-Luc Picard, saying...
GARIBALDI, PICARD and TEAL'C: (in unison) Pass the Goobers!
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