Or, hated, I suppose I should say. Frankly, I'm glad they're gone. Yeah, yeah, I know all about that whole "guardians of peace and justice" thing, but they made my life so difficult, swinging those lightsabers around all over the place. "An elegant weapon for a more civilized age"? Please. Only if you consider hacking off various body parts to be civilized.

And who had to deal with all those sliced-off bits and bobs? You're lookin' at him, buddy.

What? Who am I? Hell, I'm the Severed Appendage Fairy.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking: the Severed who? My cousin, the Tooth Fairy, is the one who gets all the good press--but she's got it easy; all she has to do it pick up some teeth and leave a few credits under the pillow. Me? I have to leave those credits, too, but I've gotta carry around a much nastier--and heavier--load. And let me tell you, it ain't easy, McGeezy! (Besides, if you knew what the Tooth Fairy was actually using those teeth for, you wouldn't be so eager to have her visit.)

Pit droid cut your foot off with a welding torch? I'm there. Lost a digit or two in a thumbwrestling mishap? I'll take care of it.

My job sucks. But it was even worse when the Jedi were around. For starters, those idiots gave lightsabers to their younglings! That's just mutilation waiting to happen. Those kids practically bankrupted me over the years. And then you've got all the knights slicing and dicing their way across the galaxy. I mean, what's wrong with a trusty old blaster? Pow! Blam! Nice, neat and clean. But no, the Jedi just had that whole dismemberment fetish going on. Kind of creepy, if you ask me...

But the worst offender by far was Anakin....friggin'...Skywalker. Not just because of all the people he sliced up--and let me tell you, that boy sent a *lot* of business my way. No, it was because of what he did to himself. I mean, first he lost an arm, which wasn't that big a deal for me. It happens. Then the guy goes and loses the other arm *and* both legs! At the same time! Huh? Does he think I'm made of money? That's just abusing the system...

I suppose I can't complain about him *too* much, though. He did help get rid of all the other Jedi, and that cut my workload down a *huge* amount. No pun intended. Past eighteen years or so have been pretty cushy, to be honest. Oh, I still get the occasional call--last week some Toydarian got his wings pulled off by a pretty teed-off Wookiee--but for the most part I've got a lot of free time on my hands these days. I finally have the luxury to just relax, and see the sights, and visit places like this delightful cantina. I--

Oh, great--looks like there's another fight brewing across the room there. Some farmboy getting roughed up by the local thugs, by the looks of it. And now some old man is stepping in? This just gets better and better. Whoa! Blaster's out and the old man's pulling a...lightsaber?! That can't be--

It...that...he...

Damn.

Damn.

Damn.

*sigh*

Well, so much for my vacation. Been nice talking to you.

I *hate* the Jedi--have I mentioned that...?

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