ANAKIN: Where are we going?

VADER: To the detention level, to interrogate the princess.

A: You're not going to hurt her, are you?

V: I am, yes.

A: Why, man? She's a cutie!

V: So what?

(pause)

A: Qui-Gon wouldn't approve.

V: Qui-Gon was weak.

A: He was awesome! He had that whole long-haired hippie thing going on!

V: He was a fool. Remember how he kept taking his bong out behind the pod-racer when he thought nobody was watching?

A: He said it helped him get in tune with the Force!

V: Riiiiight. If I'd followed in his footsteps, I'd be living on a diet of "herbal" brownies and trying to smoke anything I could set on fire...

A: Well, we're just Mr. Bitter today, aren't we?

V: We're Mr. Bitter every day.

A: Yeah, I've noticed. And look what it's doing to your health!

V: Being thrown into a fiery pit of lava had more to do with that, I think.

A: Is that what happened? I'm still a little fuzzy on that.

V: It is. And stop it.

A: Stop what?

V: You're trying to distract me from interrogating the princess.

A: Is it working?

V: No.

A: Crap.

V: I'm going to question her, I'm going to get the information I seek, I'm going to crush the Rebellion and restore order to the galaxy.

A: Well, it's all about you, isn't it?

V: Actually, yes. George said so.

A: Well...can you at least do it without hurting her?

V: Why? What would you suggest?

A: You could maybe...reason with her?

V: You've got to be kidding. There can't possibly be any reasoning with a woman who sports that hairstyle.

A: Well, you've got me there. But you could try. Remember all that stuff you read in that book, "Men Are From Corellia, Women Are From Dantooine"?

V: That's just a bunch of pap.

(The turbolift door opens, and Vader strides out into the detention block. The guards come to attention as he stalks past them down the corridor. He stops in front of Cell 2187, starts to reach for the door controls.)

A: Wait! Wait a second, man!

V: What now? Make it quick.

A: I've got an idea. It'll get you the information faster than your torture.

V: I'm listening...

A: *whisper*, *mutter*, *whisper*--

V: Oh, that *is* good! And they say *I'm* the evil one!

(Vader opens the door, steps inside. Leia faces him defiantly. He looms over her.)

VADER: (to Leia) Now, Your Highness, we will discuss the location of your hidden rebel base...

(An interrogator droid floats into the chamber. The door hisses closed. Suddenly, a couple of speakers pop out of the interrogator droid and spicy Latin-style music begins to blare.)

VADER: (to Leia) Now, Your Highness, let us...MACARENA!

LEIA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

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