(The Emperor's shuttle arrives on the Death Star, settling into the docking bay. As the ramp hisses down, row upon row of stormtroopers and officers come to attention. Vader watches silently, as the red-clad royal guardsmen descend.)
ANAKIN: Now *those* are some snazzy outfits. You ever thought of changing your look?
VADER: No.
A: But you'd look good in red...
V: I'd look good in anything.
A: True....Except for that one time, with the paisley cape.
V: Ugh. Don't remind me...
(The Emperor appears, making his way down the ramp.)
A: Ladies and gentlemen, all the way from Coruscant--put your hands together, make him feel at home--the king of cackle--
V: Stop it--
A: --the master of mayhem--
V: STOP it--
A: --EMMMMperor PALLLLLpatine!
(As the Emperor approaches, Vader drops to one knee, bows his head.)
A: You are *such* a suck-up.
V: Be quiet.
EMPEROR: Rise, my friend.
(Vader rises, then he and the Emperor walk off, discussing how Luke will soon come to Vader--and Vader will bring him before the Emperor. Palpatine gloats that everything is proceeding as he has forseen, and he begins to cackle.)
A: Ew. That doesn't sound healthy. Give him a lozenge, or something.
V: I haven't got one.
A: That's you in a few years, you know.
V: What? Supremely powerful, commanding the fear and respect of billions?
A: No--hunched and hobbling and desperately in need of a facial. Will somebody *please* get this man some moisturizer!
V: That's enough of that...
A: Look at him! I've seen Hutts with better skin tone!
V: You should treat him with more respect. His *is* our Master.
A: Hey, he's *your* Master, buddy. Not mine. I don't see anything to respect, there.
V: If nothing else, he helped forge order from the chaos and corruption of the Old Republic...
(pause)
A: Okay, maybe....But why does he always smell like cheese?
© 1998-2004 rabidbantha@hotmail.com
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