ANAKIN: There goes another one.

VADER: Another what?

A: Another officer getting whacked by a giant rock.

V: Oh. That. So?

A: Man, that's cold. You might want to fire off a memo to the Imperial Academy, telling them to add dodgeball to the curriculum. Maybe that'll help...

(As Vader ends the conference and stalks away, Admiral Piett approaches.)

PIETT: My lord, the Emperor commands you to make contact with him.

VADER: Move us out of the asteroid field, so that we can send a clear transmission.

(Vader stalks off down the corridor.)

A: Wizard! We finally get to try out that sweet new holonet system you installed.

V: Indeed.

A: Oh, don't act all calm with me. Tell me you're not excited. Forty-seven discrete audio channels, eighty-seven zillion lines of resolution...This is going to be great!

V: Well...it is a little exciting...

A: Please. You were giggling like a schoolgirl when you were putting it together.

V: I wasn't giggling. I was...clearing my throat. Yes, that's it. Clearing my throat.

A: Sounded like a giggle to me.

V: It wasn't.

A: If you say so.

V: I do.

A: All right.

(pause)

A: Giggler.

(Vader enters his quarters, and heads down the stairs.)

A: All right! Let's fire this bad boy up!

(Vader kneels, and a ring of light appears around him. A giant hologram of the Emperor's head appears in mid-air before him.)

A: Gah! What's wrong with his eyes?! They're all...weird.

V: Grrrr. I'll have to adjust the reception.

A: Maybe you just bought a bad unit. I hope this thing's still under warranty.

V: Bah. Warranties are for the weak.

(The Emperor discusses his concerns about Luke Skywalker, his fears that Luke could destroy them.)

VADER: (aloud) He's just a boy. Obi-Wan can no longer teach him.

A: So says the guy who saved an entire planet when he was only nine years old. Hello?

V: Quiet.

VADER: (aloud) If he could be turned, he would become a powerful ally.

EMPEROR: Yes...yes. He would be a great asset. Can it be done?

VADER: (aloud) He will join us or die, Master.

A: Wow. Ominous.

V: Thanks. I've been practicing.

A: You know you're going to fail miserably, right?

V: Would it kill you to be just a little supportive?

A: And ruin my fun...? Forget it!

V: Grrrr...

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