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Above Endor (4)
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(Aboard the Death Star, Luke casts away his lightsaber and faces the Emperor, boldly proclaiming himself to be a Jedi like his father. Palpatine responds by unleashing Force Lightning against him, and Luke crumples to the floor in agony.) ANAKIN: Don't just stand there! Do something! VADER: And what precisely would you have me do? A: Oh, let me think....How about...oh, I don't know...SAVING YOUR SON?! V: Maybe you didn't notice, but Palpatine's got lightning bolts shooting out of his fingers. A: So? V: *Lightning*. Out of his *fingers*. I've had bad experiences with that, remember? A: Luke's your flesh and blood, man! You can't just let him die. V: He made his choice. Besides, I've only got one hand left, thanks to him. What do you expect me to do in this condition? A: Oh, don't play Mr. Helpless with me. I seem to recall a certain Jedi who used to do one-armed push-ups back at the Jedi Temple to impress the chicks. Who was that? V: Well...me. A: And who was it who did a hundred one-armed pull-ups just to win a five-credit bar bet? V: Me. A: And who was it who did a one-armed handstand and hopped all the way up the stairs of the Jedi Temple, from the base to the top of the towers and back down again while belting out Rodian love songs at the top of his voice? V: Actually, that was Yoda. I believe he was rather drunk at the time. A: Oh, yeah. Man, he rocked. (Luke cries out again.) A: C'mon, now. No more messing around--go help the kid. He's the fruit of your loins, after all. V: I...can't. A: But he's your loin-fruit! (Luke continues to thrash around on the floor.) LUKE: Father, please! A: Do it! LUKE: Help me! (Vader looks from Luke to Palpatine and back again.) V: Grrr...why do I let you talk me into these things? (Vader stalks forward and grabs Palpatine with his remaining hand, hefting the Emperor over his head. The lightning crackles around him.) A: MY MAN!!! V: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow-- A: Suck it in, man. This one's for the gold! V: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow-- (Vader carries Palpatine over to the railing and hurls him down into the chasm.) A: He shoots, he scores! (Palpatine vanishes in a burst of energy, and Vader slumps to the floor.) V: *gasp*...Oh, man. Anybody got a couple...*wheeze*...thousand...*gasp*...aspirin? A: Great job, little camper! Doing the right thing just makes you feel all warm and tingly inside, doesn't it?. V: *gasp* ...Are you trying to be funny?... *wheeze* A: Who, me?
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