Above Endor (5)


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(The Imperial shuttle Tydirium, with the Rebel strike team aboard, approaches the Imperial forces near Endor. Vader, on the bridge of the Executor, watches out the viewport.)

ANAKIN: Man, that shuttle's flying awfully casual.

VADER: Yes. Almost...suspiciously casual. If I didn't know better, I'd say it was being flown by a Wookiee and carrying a Rebel strike team who're going to try and disable the shield generator so that the Rebel fleet can attack the Death Star.

(pause)

A: Shyeah, right. How much spice have *you* been snorting?

(Vader walks over to where Admiral Piett and a tech officer are talking to the shuttle.)

VADER: Where is that shuttle going?

TECH: Shuttle Tydirium, what is your cargo and destination?

(A voice crackles over the speakers.)

HAN: Parts and technical crew for the forest moon.

A: Hey, it's that stormtrooper from the Death Star! The one who reported the reactor leak in the detention area.

V: I thought they decommissioned that idiot.

A: Looks like he got promoted, instead.

V: Typical.

VADER: (to Piett) Do they have a code clearance?

PIETT: It's an older code, sir, but it checks out. I was about to clear them.

(Vader pauses.)

PIETT: Shall I hold them?

VADER: No. Leave them to me. I will deal with them myself.

PIETT: As you wish, my lord. (he turns to the tech) Carry on.

(As the tech gives clearance to the shuttle, Vader returns to the viewport and watches as the shuttle descends toward the planet.)

A: Whooo! We're going down to Ennnndor! We're going down to Ennndor!

V: What are you so excited about?

A: Two words, my friend: Ewok tossing.

V: Oh, no. That's beneath my dignity, thank you very much.

A: Aw, c'mon! The troops hold competitions every night to see how far they can fling those buggers. I figure, with a little Force push, you can send one flying halfway across the planet! You'll make a fortune in the betting pool.

V: Hurling fuzzy creatures through the air does not strike me a being a particularly constructive activity.

A: Constructive, shmonstructive! It'll be fun!

V: "Shmonstructive"?

A: You know what I mean. C'mon, just one Ewok.

V: No.

A: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?

V: No.

A: It'll get out all your frustrations.

V: No.

(pause)

A: You're scared, aren't you?

V: What?!

A: You fear the Ewoks. They strike terror into your cold, black heart.

V: They most certainly do not!

A: Hey, it's all right. If you're willing to live with that cowardice, who am I to judge?

V: All right, fine. If it'll quiet you down, I'll go toss an Ewok.

A: Woo-hoo!

V: AFTER I deal with the shuttle.

A: But--

V: No buts. Shuttle first. Then Ewoks.

A: *sigh* One of these days, we're going to have to sit down and straighten out your priorities...







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