A: Hey, do you smell something?

(silence)

A: Hey! Wake up, D! Something's not right, here...

V: *snort* Huh? Wha--? Sorry, must have passed out, there.

A: Obviously. Now how about opening up those peepers of yours and having a look around?

V: Hang on...Okay, there we go. Hey, are those flames? That can't be good. And there's Luke!

A: Holy crap! The crazy bastard set you on fire!

V: Now, now. Let's not jump to conclusions. Maybe it's--

A: Conclusions? You're on fire, and he's standing there with a torch in his hand. Hello?

V: I'm sure there's a perfectly logical explanation.

A: Yeah--your son's a crazy psycho arsonist, that's the explanation. I *told* you he was gonna hold a grudge about that whole "chopping off the hand" thing.

V: But he looks so...wholesome.

A: That's how they get you, man....Uh-oh. There goes the codpiece. This is gonna sting.

V: He must have thought I was dead, and decided to give me a hero's send-off.

A: Hey, that's great. Really. But would it have been so hard for him to check for a PULSE before throwing you on the barbecue?!

V: You're being awfully hard on the boy. I thought you liked him. You were the one who convinced me to save him, after all...

A: Given the circumstances, maybe not one of my better ideas.

V: Ah.

(pause)

A: Feel free to climb *out* of the fire at any time, by the way.

V: Can't. Too weak...

A: Okay, then how about sending out a telepathic call to Luke? Get him to pull you out of here.

V: Can't focus enough energy for that, either.

A: Well, what *can* you do?

V: I think I can wiggle my left pinky toe.

A: Great. Just great. I'd like to go on record as saying that this officially *sucks*.

V: Duly noted.

A: How can you be so calm? I mean, have you noticed the part about being ON FIRE?! Because that's the part that's jumping right out at me...

V: There's nothing I can do about it. Besides, it seems rather...appropriate. My journey on the Jedi path kind of started with Qui-Gon on his funeral pyre, and now I'm ending the journey on my own pyre. Symmetry, you know?

A: Wow. That's pretty deep, coming from you.

V: Thanks.

(pause)

A: Still stings like a mutha, though, doesn't it?

V: Oh, yeah...

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