ANAKIN: Man, what is the deal with those two guys over there?

VADER: What, you mean those useless, boot-licking toadies? They're harmless.

A: Maybe, but they're creeping me out. With them *and* Palpy, it's like an albino convention in here.

SUZY: Oh. My. God. Would you look at their clothes? It's like a rancor puked all over them.

A: Suzy! Where you been, babe?

V: Oh, no. No, no, no, no--

SUZY: Hey, Ani.

V: I am *not* having this conversation...

SUZY: I take it he's still in denial?

A: Afraid so.

(The Emperor begins to hobble toward Vader on his cane.)

VADER: (aloud) What is thy bidding, my master?

EMPEROR: Send the fleet to the far side of Endor. There it will wait until called for.

VADER: But what of reports of the Rebel fleet massing near Sullust?

EMPEROR: It is of no concern. Soon the Rebellion will be crushed, and young Skywalker will be one of us. Your work here is finished, my friend. Go out to the command ship and await my orders.

VADER: Yes, my master.

(Vader turns and walks away.)

V: Did you hear that?

A: What?

V: He called me his friend. *I* am the Emperor's *friend*.

A: How special for you.

V: Not a flunky, not a lackey. Not even a henchman. A friend--and you're always saying I don't have any. Ha!

A: All right, all right. We get the picture.

SUZY: Well, I think it's cute. Big V has a little buddy.

V: You don't exist. And it's not "cute".

SUZY: All right, it's not cute.

(pause)

SUZY: It's adorable.

V: Grrrrrr...

A: Speaking of Palpy--how much you want to bet he's not wearing anything under those robes?

SUZY and V: (in unison) EWWWWWWW!!!

A: What? If you were in charge of the galaxy, wouldn't *you* do it once in a while, just because you could?

V: What part of "EWWWWWW!!!" wasn't conveyed properly?

SUZY: Ani, that's just messed up on so many levels...

A: I'm just saying--

V: Oh, man...I'm never going to get that image out of my head, now.

SUZY: There, there, cupcake. There, there...

A: Sheesh. If I'd known it was this easy to torment you, I'd have done it a long time ago. I mean, it's not like we're talking about the nudist habits of the Hutts...

SUZY and V: (in unison) EEEEWWWWWWW!!!

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