ANAKIN: What's with the fiddling?

VADER: Huh?

A: The fiddling?

V: Oh. Well, I can't see this Rebel scum as posing much of a challenge, so I figured I'd take the time to catch up on a few projects--update my blog, check my e-mail, you know...

A: In the middle of a battle?!

V: It's called multi-tasking. Look into it.

A: I thought only chicks could multi-task...

(Vader and his wingmen dive into the trench, slipping in behind a trio of Y-wings that have begun their attack run.)

VADER: (to wingmen) I'll take them myself. Cover me.

WINGMAN: Yes, sir.

A: You know, this isn't terribly sporting, sneaking up from behind like this. It's like shooting womp rats in a barrel.

V: (chuckling) Isn't it? Thankfully, the Rebels haven't discovered the benefits of rear-mounted weaponry.

A: Neither have you, sport.

V: Yes, but I don't need it. The Force is my ally.

A: Ah.

V: And a powerful ally it is. Life creates it. Makes it grow. Luminous beings are--oh. Sorry. I was having a Yoda moment there, wasn't I?

A: Yep. You do his voice pretty well, though...

(Vader fiddles with the knobs again.)

V: Let's see, looks like just the usual nerf in my inbox. "Make thousands of credits a week working at home building superweapons in your spare time", blah, blah...

(Casually, Vader vaporizes the first Y-wing.)

V: ..."Jawa Webcams", blah, blah..."Refinance your space station mortgage"...

(Vader destroys the second Y-wing and closes in on the leader.)

A: Wow, you really are a multi-tasker...

V: Why do I even get this stuff? It's not like I sign up for it.

(Vader reaches out to empty the inbox.)

A: Whoa, hold up, there! What about that one?

V: Which one?

A: That one there--"Increase the size of your lightsaber by one to three inches, guaranteed"...

V: What about it?

A: Are you going to get it?

V: No, I most certainly am not.

A: Dude, it's guaranteed! And completely natural!

V: I've never had any complaints about the size of my lightsaber, thank you very much.

A: Yeah, but here's what I'm thinking. You get those types of offers all the time, right? So buy *all* of them. And if they each add one to three inches...then pretty soon your lightsaber's going to be fourteen feet long!

(The last Y-wing veers up out of the trench. Vader pursues and shoots it down, then heads off to find new prey.)

A: Well? Am I brilliant or what?

V: Or what.

A: Dude! Fourteen feet! Come on!

(Vader empties his inbox.)

A: *sigh* Man, you know what your problem is? You just have no vision...

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