VADER: (aloud) Obi-Wan is here. The Force is with him.

TARKIN: If you're right, he must not be allowed to escape.

VADER: Escape is not his plan. I must face him, alone.

(Vader stalks out of the room. Walking through the corridor outside, he shakes his head.)

V: Razza-frazzin, no good piece of--he *would* pick now to show up.

ANAKIN: What's the problem?

V: Obi-Wan! After all these years he finally pokes his head out, and now I'll have to waste time dueling him.

A: So? You like dueling.

V: Yes, but not now. The season finale of "Gil Iggan's Asteroid" is going to be on in a little while, and I'm probably going to miss it!

A: Ah. Well, you could always record it.

V: *sigh* It's not the same...

(Vader walks on.)

A: Well, since you brought it up, here's the eternal question: Gin-Jurr or Ma'Reeann?

V: Ma'Reeann.

A: See, I'm a Gin-Jurr guy myself.

V: Please. Gin-Jurr is a tramp.

A: You say that like it's a bad thing.

(Vader hops in a turbolift.)

A: The thing that I can never understand is why the Professor doesn't just fix the ship and get them off the asteroid. I mean, the guy can make a landspeeder out of toothpicks and mynock droppings, for crying out loud.

V: I thought that would be obvious. He's intentionally *keeping* them on the asteroid.

A: Really?

V: Really. Frankly, I have to admire his sinister resolve.

A: So what brought you to that conclusion?

V: Think about it. The Professor was a scientist, so he probably wasn't doing too well with the ladies.

A: So?

V: So, fate intervenes, and the Professor suddenly finds himself shipwrecked on an asteroid with both Gin-Jurr *and* Ma'Reeann. And his only competition is a fat starship captain, an idiot first mate and a middle-aged married man. The Professor's got it made! Of *course* he doesn't want to leave.

A: But Mr. How-El is rich. That's gotta be pretty attractive.

V: So? Credits don't mean a thing on that asteroid. The guy who can build a jacuzzi out of an old engine tube--*that's* the guy the chicks are going to flock to.

A: But what about Gil Iggan? It's usually *his* wacky antics that keep them on the asteroid, not anything the Professor does.

V: True. But I believe that *some* of Gil Iggan's ineptitude could be due to a post-hypnotic suggestion implanted by the Professor, causing him to unconsciously sabotage any rescue efforts.

A: Post-hypnotic suggestion. Really.

V: Indeed.

(Vader steps out of the turbolift and into a corridor. There he stops, waiting for Obi-Wan to show up.)

A: You know, you've put *way* too much thought into this.

V: That's nothing. You should hear my theories on "The Bray-Dee Bunch"...

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