Above Endor (8)


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Useless Ideas
For Babylon 5

Three Bald
Guys Review...

(Luke, Vader and the Emperor are watching the Rebel fleet battling outside.)

EMPEROR: Your fleet is lost, and your friends on the Endor moon will not survive. There is no escape, my young apprentice. The Alliance will die, as will your friends.

(Luke looks to Vader, then at the lightsaber sitting on the Emperor's arm-rest.)

EMPEROR: Good, I can feel your anger. I am defenseless. Take your weapon. Strike me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the Dark Side will be complete.

(Luke hesitates.)

ANAKIN: Dude, he's going to go for it.

VADER: So?

A: So?! What's that supposed to mean?

V: Just that I'm not seeing a down side here. I mean, if Luke strikes down Palpatine, he and I can rule the galaxy as father and son just like I wanted to in the first place.

A: But he'll turn to the Dark Side!

V: Well...yeah, I suppose.

A: Am I the only one seeing that as a bad thing?

V: Listen, if it makes you feel better, just think of it as the Not-Quite-As-Light Side of the Force. Doesn't that sound nicer?

A: And what if Palpatine kills Luke?

V: Then...I get to keep my job. Yeah, that's it. Go me!

A: You are so warped.

V: What can I say? I'm a "glass is half-full" kind of guy. Besides, I can always have other kids. I think.

A: You--

V: I mean, it'd probably involve some sort of extra attachments and wiring--and maybe a centrifuge of some sort--

A: That isn't--centrifuge?

V: Just throwing out ideas, here.

A: *sigh* You're going to make me play hardball, aren't you?

V: What are you talking about?

A: Let me lay it out for you. If you don't stop Luke from striking the Emperor...you'll spend the rest of your life listening to me singing "The Ballad of Jar Jar Binks". Over and over and over again...

V: You. Wouldn't. Dare.

A: Try me.

(Luke uses the Force to snatch up his lightsaber.)

A: "Oh, Jar Jar was a Guuuungan, with big, long floppy earrrs..."

V: Grrr...

(Luke ignites his saber.)

A: "He swam around on Nabooooo for many, many yeeeeeeears..."

V: Aaaargh! All right! Just this once!

(Luke brings his saber down toward the Emperor. Vader's blade is there to block it.)

A: There. Was that so hard?

V: Are your *sure* you're not the Dark Side half in this arrangement?







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