ANAKIN: Bounty hunters? Are you sure about this?

VADER: Of course. A little extra help never hurt. I'm kind of curious to see who answered my call. No doubt the best of the best.

A: Oh, no doubt.

V: The bridge is probably full of cutthroats, eager to work for the one and only Darth Vader. Who wouldn't be?

A: You want the list? 'Cause I've been keeping a list...

V: Hey, my name on their resume is *gold*.

A: If you say so.

V: I do. I just hope there was enough room to fit all of them.

(Vader arrives on the bridge, looks at the assembled bounty hunters.)

V: That's...that's it? Six hunters?

A: Dude, I *told* you, you should have offered punch and pie. Would've drawn a much bigger crowd.

V: *sigh* Fine, fine. Let's see what I've got to work with. Who's first?

A: I think his name is Dengar, isn't it? Though "Head Trauma Boy" would probably be more appropriate.

V: True. Those bandages don't exactly speak volumes for his competence, do they?

A: And it looks like he's been hitting the pork rinds a little hard.

V: Indeed. Hmmm, there's IG-88. Not bad, not bad.

A: He's too skinny.

V: He's a droid; skinny doesn't matter.

A: Sure it does. I'm betting that he used to get picked on by those beefy Super Battle Droids, and that this whole bounty hunting thing is just IG-88's means of channelling his repressed rage.

V: Somehow, I doubt that.

A: You know what he needs, I bet?

V: What?

A: A hug. I think he'd be right as rain after that.

V: I am *not* hugging the droid.

A: No?

V: No.

A: All right. Just putting the thought on the table.

V: And I'm taking it off the table--and then smashing the table. Who's next--oh, no.

A: Hey, it's Fett! Rock on!

V: No, no, no. He's going to screw everything up again.

A: What do you mean, again?

V: You remember that scavenger hunt Palpatine threw a couple of years back? And he put me and Fett on the same team...?

A: Oh, yeah! And you had to go looking for things like a bald Ewok, and a toenail from a dewback, and--

V: And a Hutt who could speak Basic, among other things. And Fett thought it'd be easier, instead of lugging that Hutt all the way back, to disintegrate it and carry its ashes back in a little baggie. "Same difference," he said. And what happened?

A: You...got disqualified.

V: And we lost--to Snaggletooth.

A: Well--

V: Snaggletooth!

A: Well, just make sure to remind him not to do it again.

V: I'll do that, not that it'll help. Now, who else...? Ah, Zuckuss and 4-LOM.

A: Which is which?

V: I don't know, I keep mixing them up. And that must be Bossk. He looks decently ferocious, doesn't he? Maybe--oh, for the love of all that's holy, will you look at that?

A: What?

V: Barefoot. He is barefoot on my bridge! I'm not running a damn commune, here!

A: It's going to take forever to polish those footprints off the floor...

V: All right, okay, I can deal with this. I've worked with worse than these.

A: Not *much* worse...

(Vader starts to walk up the line of bounty hunters.)

VADER: (aloud) There will be a substantial reward for the one who finds the Millenium Falcon. You are free to use any methods necessary, but I want them alive. (He raises a warning finger at Boba Fett) *No* disintegrations.

FETT: As you wish.

(Piett comes up to Vader.)

PIETT: Lord Vader. My lord, we have them.

V: Oh, thank the Force. I won't have to deal with these losers, after all.

A: Don't get your hopes up. That Solo guy is pretty slippery.

V: I've got the finest soldiers in the fleet at my disposal. If they say they've got him, they've got him.

A: Care to place a wager? If they actually catch him...I'll leave you alone. Forever.

V: I'm liking this wager...

A: But if they escape...you have to hug IG-88. In front of everybody.

(pause)

V: All right, you're on. I have the utmost confidence in my people.

A: Oh, I *so* hope someone here's got a vidcam...

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