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Three Bald
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(Vader's shuttle lands in the docking bay of the new Death Star. He strides down the ramp, and is greeted by the sight of row upon row of troopers standing at attention.)

ANAKIN: Wow, quite a turnout, huh?

VADER: I deserve nothing less.

A: I don't think you've had a crowd this big turn out for you since...since...

V: My eleventh birthday party.

A: That's right! That was so wizard! They held it at the Jedi Temple, and there were all the balloons and cake and--

V: Yeah, it was really wizard--until Yoda's friends showed up.

(pause)

A: Oh. Yeah. Forgot about that.

V: I wish I could.

A: Who was it that crashed that party? I seem to remember a whole swarm of 'em.

V: I don't wish to discuss this. I have to make preparations for the Emperor's arrival. The Rebellion will soon--

A: Man, I really wish I cared. Oh! There was that one guy, I recall, who kept hugging all the five-year-old padawans--whether they wanted him to or not. What was his name?

V: Grover.

A: Right, right. Weird-lookin' guy. And those two others, Bert and Ernie--they got drunk and started pimp-slapping Mace Windu around...

V: Yaddle never let Mace live that one down...

A: And that Cookie Monster that attacked anyone who tried to get near the dessert table--until they finally had to tranquilize him. And we had to listen to Snuffleupagus yammering on and on and ON about how he was going to go to Tatooine and liberate his "bantha brethren" from the shackles of oppression...

V: Frankly, I don't know why they didn't drum Yoda out of the Jedi Order for that incident. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to be menacing...

(Moff Jerjerrod approaches Vader, and they discuss the progress of the station's construction. Vader informs Jerjerrod of the Emperor's impending arrival, threatens new ways to motivate the workers, and Jerjerrod vows that his crew will double their efforts. He and Vader then walk away together.)

JERJERROD: Oh, by the way, your associate arrived the other day.

VADER: (to Jerjerrod) Associate? What associate?

JERJERROD: He...said he was with you, m'lord. I had him wait over here while your shuttle was docking...

(They approach a door, which hisses open to reveal...The Count.)

THE COUNT: Two! Two Death Stars! Ah! Ah! Ah!

A: Uh-oh.

V: Hmmm. I wonder what a lightsaber will do to a foam body?

A: Oh, man. I can't watch...

*snap-hiss*...







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