ANAKIN: Where do I know this guy from?

VADER: He's one of the rebels helping Skywalker in his attempts to overthrow the Empire.

A: No, no, I've seen him somewhere else....Wait a minute! Now I know! He was in that holovid we saw the other night!

V: What holovid?

A: You know--the one with the guy looking for the artifact, and when they opened it, the villain's face melted off? "Corellia Smith", or something like that.

V: I thought it was "Coruscant Jones".

A: Whatever.

SUZY: He's a hottie!

(pause)

V: Um...what the hell was that?

A: Hm? Oh, that was Suzy.

V: And who, pray tell, is "Suzy"?

A: She's your feminine side.

V: I don't *have* a feminine side.

SUZY: If you say so, cupcake.

V: Hey, I'm 100% man!

A: 'Fraid not. Remember back at the Jedi Temple, when they decided to start letting boy bands join the Jedi Order?

V: Yeah...

A: And you thought it was just the best idea EVER...?

V: That was temporary insanity! The doctors said so.

A: Nope. That was Suzy.

V: No way.

A: Way.

V: No chance. I got over that craziness, once the medication started working...and then I destroyed the Jedi for letting those punks in.

SUZY: You were just jealous, because they had all those cool coordinated lightsaber moves...

V: I'm not talking to you. You don't exist.

A: She does, man. You know all those ideas you've been having about redecorating your meditation chamber?

V: Yeah...

A: In pink polka-dot drapery?

V: Well, I think it'd add a nice decorative--holy crap! You're saying that's HER influence?

SUZY: *smooch*

V: Oh, man. I need some air. I need to go push somebody around...

A: That's it, dude. Re-assert your manliness!

(Vader leaves the room, and talks with Lando and Boba Fett in the corridor outside. When Lando protests giving Han to the bounty hunter, Vader--stepping into the turbolift--threatens him with the prospect of leaving a garrison in Cloud City. Lando backs off fearfully, and the door hisses closed.)

A: Feel better, now?

V: I do, yeah.

SUZY: Man, I'd love to share a Colt .45 with that hot slab of--

V: La la la--I can't hear you--la la la...

A: *snicker* Give it up, man. You don't know the power of the Suzy...*snort*

(pause)

V: Wait a minute. Wait just a minute--I know what's going on here. There is no "Suzy", is there? It's just you, trying to mess with my head!

A: Would I do a thing like that?

SUZY: You sure wouldn't!

V: Now cut that out!

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