Microsoft introduces New Browser
Guest Reporter : Wabut
    Microsoft has announced that they will be releasing a new browser soon with a new name due to the lawsuit filed against them. I caught up with Microsoft head-hancho Bill Gates for a rare interview.

Wabut: Hello Mr. Gates. Gates: Who the Linux are you? Wabut: Interview....remember... $19 billion, free island... Gates: Right.. right.

At this point, Mr. Gates led me to his office. Or somewhere really big with lots of windows and dead penguins. Back to the interview....

Gates: Welcome to Microsoft, Mr....um.. Wabut: Wabut will do. Gates: Alright. Welcome Mr. Wabut.. Wabut: No dumbass, just Wabut Gates: Alright. Welcome Wabut. Happy? Wabut: Yes. Gates: I guess you want to hear about the new browser eh? Wabut: (sarcastically)No. I want to hear about your world domination plans. Gates: Oh. Well first I'm gonna slowly.... Wabut: (waving his head) Geez. Just tell me about the browser. Gates: Well, it all started with this new lawsuit against the name of my browser. So, I went to the R&D department and told my staff to redo the browser and create a new name. And then in only 3 hours, a new employee named VFatDan gave me a new browser. I couldn't believe it. He told me it was easy. He said something about just going through the code using a find and replace command or something. And he created a new name for his browser too. Wabut: Wow. 3 hours? Gates: I know. (snort, snort, laugh) He's my #1 man now. Care to see it run? Wabut: Start it up.

Gates starts up this new browser and a smaller window then pops up.

Gates: My R&D staff calls this a "User Profile Selection." It allows different users to use the browser. Keen, eh? Wabut: Ummm...

Gates selects his profile and starts the browser up. The next screen I saw said "Microsoft Internet Navigator". Gates turns away from the computer.

Gates: That new guy I hired is a god. He has such good ideas. He decided to not call them "favorites" anymore. I thought of the word "favorites" myself and it was going to take a really good suggestion to change it, Can you guess what he called it? Wabut: Um...Bookmarks? Gates: Wow. Great guess. Anyway. There is a whole lot of changes you will be seeing with this browser. One of these is the new icon in the corner. They created a new one, which i think is really cool. It involves a big letter N with comets and planets and stars... and they also decided on moving the stop button all the way to the right..

At this point his computer's screensaver went on. It was the Marquee screensaver. Being the curious type, I started jotting down what it said and just plain stopped listening to his BS. Here's what I got.

Hello my Name is Bill Gates. I've got more than what it takes I've got the power to conquer the world But I still can't get the girls. But, that's more than ok. Because I think I'm becoming...

Then all of a sudden, Mr Gates moves the mouse to show me something.

Gates :This is the coolest feature. Look! Look!

While Mr. Gates is laughing uncontrollably, I take a gander at the screen.

Wabut: Um. wow. it's blinking. Gates: Yeah! (long chuckle) This new tag they programmed in is called Blink! (laughs again) Its so cool! Wabut: Oh. Alright. Whatever. Well, nice meeting you or something Mr. Gates. Gates: You (stutters to pretend like he's talking like a blink tag) too! (laughs again)

Gates staff said to expect the new browser within a month.

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