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Sixth of May
I have redone the frontpage of my homepage.
I have also added a few comments about Sean.
Fifth of May, 1999
Uh, hi. I do not know how to begin this, but I first want to apologize profusely to all those concerned. And especially to Spoon. Spoon, if you can read this, believe me, I am sorry. Be well, where ever you are. Your memory will be with me, always.
I have been in convalescence for nearly half a year. I may be immortal, but I am not invulnerable. And it takes time to heal.
We were attacked in my apartment. All my brash talk about Vampires and Werewolves did irritate somebody. Amanda, Spoon, Constantine and I were beset by something intangible, I do not know what. The last thing I remember from that night was a darkness that came alive, writhing and slitering. Then everything became fire.
Constantine told me that Spoon took the full force of the blast trying to protect Constantine and Amanda. That saved them. I was thrown through a window by the force of the blast, falling some 13 stories down into the black and cold waters of the Thames. It was probably the water that saved me from burning to death.
How my friends found me and protected me before the sun emerged that morning I do not know. However, I do know that we owe Spoon a revenge. And it shall be bitter sweet.
Ninth of September
We're back from York now. I'll tell you later sometime about the stuff that happened to us.
Fourth of September
I wonder if I can become senile? Anyway, as promised yesterday: Amanda, Spoon and Constantine!
Constantine is a strange guy. (Look who's talking...) He has this compulsion about buying new clothes. I don't think I've ever seen him wear the same outfit twice. Yet he still never looks well groomed. As soon as his clothes enters his personal aura, or something, they turn wrinkly, seem slightly out of date and they look like he's worn them for a whole 14-hour non-stop flight from the Middle East. Very strange. He is really a very cool guy, though. And he always seems to remember everything that is important, if you have a somewhat weird idea of what is important, that is... He never bothers remembering trivial stuff, like 'where the train station is' or 'how to unlock his bicycle' or such like. Instead he seems to be able to recall things like 'what finger did Ramone Alvarez use to press the elevator button with, that night three years ago' or 'all actors who have ever appeared in a movie together with Ronald Reagan'. He has this incredible eye for strange details, without even trying! And he absolutely adores 'Backstreet Boys'.
Amanda is my sister. Not by blood, of course, but in spirit. It was a very long time ago that I felt such closeness to another person. She is this rather short tempered Pretorian girl with a past that almost defies description. Her family made it's fortunes in South African diamond mines during the apartheid regime. They remain unswervingly loyal to right extremist organisations that plot the downfall of the democratically elected heads of state. Amanda still gets a whopping allowance from them, though, so all family ties have not been severed since her first change. She is somewhat bothered about her past, especially in tight and extreme situations, as she sometimes acts impulsively apartheid-ish. In the beginning, when she first came to these sceptered Isles, she pretended to be from Holland. She has, however, shown time and time again that she really has changed for the better and she doesn't lie about her past any more. Not that often, anyway. Her style is immaculate, her timing is perfect and her attitude is outlandish. She would make a great Toreador. But, fortunately for Gaia, she is a werewolf.
(She is a lousy writer, though.)
Spoon. How can I start? Eats-with-Spoon is a wolf. Or, rather, is naturally a wolf. I do not know that much about him, really. When we first met I thought that I would have to explain myself and my position yet again, but he just stared into my eyes, sniffed a little in the air in front of me and to the sides, without saying a word. Until finally he looked me straight in the eyes again and said:
'I am Eats-with-Spoon. I have heard a lot about you. I know what parts are true.'
He has been with with our pack since then, performing impeccably at all times. He has an appetite for some things human, though. Especially ice-cream and Wrestling (the show/fake variant...). I think it is better not asking. Spoon has, as I said earlier, done some truly heroic things during the time he has been with us. I certainly hope that he wants to continue to be in our pack.
Third of September
It just struck me. I have started talking about 'Amanda', 'Constantine' and 'Eats-with-Spoon' and even linked in Amanda's own scribblings within my homepages. And yet I have never even once described who they are!
This disastrous little mistake must be corrected. Since I most probably already am on quite a few 'Kindred that needs to be given a severe lesson'-lists, I ought really to move over into the 'most-wanted'-lists immediatly. I am no longer affiliated with the Camarilla. Neither am I with the Sabbath. (Even though I do not know that great a deal about them). During the latter stages of the 19th century, me and my compatriots, Charles, Sean and Cherry, came into close contact with a pack of Werewolves. The pack of Squirrel. Among those brave and valiant warriors I found kindred spirits. (Pardon the pun). It brooded within me and finally, just before the second world war descended upon our world, I pledged allegiance and obediance to the Honourable Pack of Squirrel, as it then had begun to be called. I am still with them. I am not particularly trusted by their kind, but I suppose that I never will be that, no matter what I do. I have, however, found a lot of really good friends among these people. Amanda, Constantine and Spoon being the latest. I shall never forget Madelyn Beckett, either. For she was the one that first took my side back in those days. Her spirit lives on and I can never thank her enough. Not only did she accept me, she also performed the ritual that cleansed me from the Fomori that inhabited my body, the thing that made my presence deadly to flowers and grass.
Thank you all.
I know that writing this estranges me from a lot of vampires out there and certainly signs my death warrant. But remember, I chose this side freely, and I have survived this far. And if I should go down because of my beliefs, I will die knowing that I have led a good life.
How many of you other Kindred out there can claim that?
-Helena 'Shines at Night' Mircalla
Ventrue Anti-tribu
Honourable and Ancient Pack of Squirrel
Second of September
I have started to write down my impressions on the new and 'improved' friends of mine. I have yet to finish them, but Sean is at least in a presentable state.
Twentyeighth of August
So here I am once more...
In the playground and so on. What hurt me the most was seeing my old abode having been torn down and the grounds having been converted into a large shopping mall. And that the graveyard of the garou had been emptied some time between the wars. They had at least built a beautiful park there, complete with a small pond, but Amanda said that she felt a great sense of loss walking on that common. It is not usual for her to go sentimental or to talk about her spiritual side - a side which all garou possess to a greater or lesser extent. She told me that the spirit world around the common was remarkably healed considering that it was located in the middle of a horrendous city with scars dating back to the 19th century's industrialism, but that the ground was permeated with the sense of grief and loss. Later, back at the hotel, I told her that I once had participated in a grave robbing at the site. When I said that, she just looked at me and answered:
'I know. But I'm glad you told me.'
Even later we were joined at the hotel by Constantine and Spoon. They had been "doin' York", as Spoon put it. I do not want to imagine what that means, but it probably involves a lot of ice cream.
Twentyfourth of August
To cheer me up Amanda has suggested that we would go away for awhile, leave the London area to take a tour of the south of England. I do tend to get rooted to a spot, so it took some persuasion until I agreed. On the condition that we went up north instead as I wanted to visit York. Those of you who don't know me ought perhaps to know that I have spent the better parts of five decades in that city. They weren't particularly pleasing decades either. (Not that I resented my stay there at the time, it is just recently that I have realised what kind of wyrm-hole that place was for ordinary humans back in middle of the 19th century).
But I want to go back there. My visit to Sean and his domain and seeing Cherry and Charles again has made me delirious with nostalgia, I think. I can almost hear the sound of horses and hearses, chariots and steam engines hurtling through the unlit nights. But, I digress. I want to see what Rollo's Jorvik has turned into.
Twentythird of August
Amanda told me the other night that as I was relic of the past, I could have no valid opinion on normal 'day to day' (night to night?) issues (Like what movie to see...). It was meant as a joke, I know that, but it still hurt me. I don't want to be hurt, so naturally I dominated her into neandertha... oops, just kidding. :) Seriously though, I do wonder sometimes what I am and what the point of 'me' is. Do I really make a difference? I am fighting a war that is not mine to fight really. I was drawn into the conflict by being on the other side. Unwittingly. Since then I have changed sides, I hope. I try my best, but I am still not trusted by my allies. Apart from a few, that is, and even they were hard earned. It doesn't come easily, as I am always seen as a traitor and an enemy when first meeting with new allies. I always have to prove myself before they are even willing to try trusting me. All those who ally with me, those few who are willing to enter my pack, always finish last in the garou status hierarchy. Am I really doing them a favour?
I care a lot about my friends. Amanda, Constantine and Eats-with-Spoon. And Sean, Charles and Cherry. The problem is that I have to choose between them. And the natural choice are the latter ones. But I have sacrificed a lot to even attain the rather lowly position that I enjoy among the garou. Their cause is my cause, whatever my enemies may say. I have the luxury of longevity. Even eternity, if I care to try. But still I choose the path of war. That *must* mean something.
Gaia, give me strength.
Nineteenth of August
Home sweet home! Finally we are home again. I have promised Sean to keep our doings in his little hamlet a secret for a time or two. Therefore the lapse in continuity. Oh well, if he wants to have his little secrets, let him. It is not very likely that I will wind up as his enemy more than I really am anyway, so why not?
Eighth of June
Finally a message from Sean! We are to meet with him at the University tonight. He cautioned me to not make scene. He does not want to loose 'status' among his precious Kindred neighbours. The irony of this must be immense! But I do understand the pressure he must be under and if it is made public that he is hosting a werewolf and a certified anti-camarilla vampire for dinner, things might just get out of hand. Oh, well. His problem.
Seventh of June
Now what can I say? We still haven't met with Sean yet and I absolutely loathe this place! It is such a rich and succulent haven of well fed Ventrue lackeys just sitting and oozing their contempt of the rest of the world. I know. I have been one of them. It still gives me the creeps. Amanda was out scouting during the wee hours of the night and she said that she couldn't make out any traces of other vampires around here. But only because the sense of utter wyrm-infestation was too great all around... Scary. The hotel we are staying at does at least seem to be one of the better in the city. It isn't all bad. They didn't even bat an eyelash when we came into the reception at three o'clock in the morning, me in sunglasses, Hotspurs cap, military slacks and tie-dyed T-shirt and Mandy in a pin striped business suit wielding her Asian VISA-Platinum card like she was born with it. We must have set off at least a dozen secret 'vampire-is-approaching' alarm bells but Sean still keeps his distance. I wonder if he is testing me or if he really is in control?
I have had to wear sunglasses these last few weeks, by the way, as my irises have begun to dilute or something. Unless I am chock full of blood they appear to shine with a yellowish tint that looks definitely unwholesome. Mandy suspects that I have contracted the yellow fever.
Sixth of June
The trip to the continent has this far been rather trite and disappointing. In spite of all my claims of having such 'vast powers' and 'impeccable influence' I have arrived in Strasbourg with no luggage. It is probably sitting in a transit terminal somewhere waiting to be flown to Iceland or something. Although I have no real moral qualms about wringing the brains out of corrupt and stupid airline employees, I must behave while I am in Sean's domain. We haven't met with him yet, but I suspect that he knows that we have arrived. Amanda has gone away to rent a car. (My advance booking had naturally not been registered. Grrr.) This will mean that she will rent one of those utterly horrible sportscars instead of a sensible and safe one. I do not plan to end my days being fried to a cinder in a stupid car accident! But I guess I will have to trust her.
First of June
The date draws nearer... Soon I will get to meet them again! (I am not telling any of you the actually date of our congregation, as I clearly would endanger some of my friends if I did that. Especially Sean, and I would not want that!) Amanda is, by the way, going somewhat crazy at my constant rantings of my 'old' friends. I cannot help but to be excited!
Eighteenth of May
My old friends, yes. I have been invited to Strasbourg by the residing prince there. And guess what? It is Sean Rathcliffe! I must confess my surprise at that; him having been the critic of our society, critisizing our bureaucracy, our tenacity of clinging to the past and our stuffy way of 'life'. And now he is the prince of Strasbourg. (And for those of you who do not know it; Strasbourg is one of the main centres of the European Union!) I cannot say how much I laughed at the notion of Sean being the prince there, but it certainly amused me a lot! (On the other hand, I suspect that he was having rather a good time when he got to know certain aspects of my present life.) I might tell you some other time...
Fifteenth of May
Oh how time flies, doesn't it! I have been somewhat preoccupied of late. Summer is fast approaching which means shorter waking hours and host of other problems barging in on me. I have been on a short 'vacation' into this secluded spot in the wilderness. The exact reason for being there can be left unwritten, but I must confess that I was taken aback by the sheer loveliness of the place. I have often seen certain of my friends fall into some kind of reverie when confronted with beautiful items or other things. I know the feeling now. Had I been alone I might have stayed all night and into the day gazing at the world.
Fifteenth of April
This night I had it pointed out to me that it isn't May yet... Gosh, I feel so sharp and intelligent! I also have proposed a meeting with my old Kindred friends. Hopefully, this will lead to something important and of lasting value!
Fourteenth of May
Great news have suddenly become abundant! I just heard from Charles again! It is definitely a wonderful thing and I cannot help but to look forward to the night on which we will meet!
I will have a few surprises up my sleeve for them, though! But I do not think that they will be too angry with me... In any case, they will be surprised...
Thirteenth of May
Other things that have happened in the last few nights includes me being stopped by the police and given a speeding ticket on the M1 just north of London! Talk about charming! Since I haven't recieved my new driver's license yet (it takes some time for the red tape to unwind... I have to get a new license every ten to fifteen years or so) we had a small argument at first. (And thanks to my partner in crime, Amanda van der Cleef, I had wagered not to use my vampiric skills to get me out of situations like these...). You can guess the results... £350 in fines for disobeyance and resisting a PC and for driving witout a licence etc. Gosh, what a great start for a new identity.
I have also refurbished my docklands flat. (And Amanda, if you read this, I *will* send the bills to you and if you ever drink in my apartment again, I will send the picture of you with that Moloké to your sister. I promise...)
I'm sorry if I get too chatty and too personal here, but if you do not get any of this, just skip it!
Eighth of May
I have decided to start including these 'what I have done lately' texts that are so popular on the net. You never know... someone might even read them.
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