2. TARDIS prop looks suspiciously like a Mr. Bob.*

3. K-9 looks suspiciously like an aging poodle.

4. William Shatner appears dressed as a Klingon.

5. Doctor Who theme, when played backwards over the PA system, says, "I'm half-human, on my mother's side..."

6. Colin Baker comes dressed as Mel.

7. Dealers specialize in TARDIS-shaped LSD tablets.

8. Lost episodes shown are actually re-runs of Laverne & Shirley.

9. Dalek prop really exterminates.

And the Top Ten Sign You're At A Bad Doctor Who Convention is...

10. Convention promoted as Dr. What.

*(Note: Mr. Bob is a brand of portable toilets.)