Note:  This story is for Kass, WHO BUGGED ME FOR P.S.  and Chris F. who
wanted a Eddie ficcy so bad.....hehehehehe......And I want to thank my two
beta-readers for this fic, Kas and Jai THANK YOU!
 

***Eddie POV***

I stand here looking at you from afar, seeing how you smile at some joke he's
telling you.  How you lean on him, putting your arms around his waist, and
kissing him lightly on the lips, wishing it was ME!  Me that you're doing
that to.  Me the one you hold, me the one you smile up to with a sparkle in
your eyes, me the one you kiss.  But then, that's all a fantasy.  Knowing
you'll never consider me nothing more than one of your close friends, one of
your brothers, one of the guys, but nothing more.  "Why?"  I asked myself a
million times.  Why did I have to fall in love with you, why?  And the stupid
thing is, I'm not doing anything, I'm not seducing you, flirting with you,
nothing, NADA!  Don't get me wrong, I would do it, HELL I want too, but I
won't cause I see you're happy.  Happy with him, and if you're happy then
I'm happy.  And him, I don't hate him, envy maybe, but not hate.  How can I,
he's Perry Saturn, MY friend, besides it's not his fault, I fell in love
with his lover.  Besides they been together for awhile, I can't just take his
lover away from him, even if I WANT TO.  It would destroy him, hurt him so
bad, and I could not, would not hurt someone for my personal gain.  So here I
am watching as you two cuddle with each other, seeing how my heart crumbles
each day.  Knowing you'll never be mine...

"Eddie?"

I hear my name in a concerned tone.  I turn around to find Joanie looking at me
weird, with a thoughtful gleam in her eyes.

"Hey Mamacita! What's up?" I reply in a happy tone.  She’s a sweetheart, I
love her with all my heart and I'll do anything to protect her from danger.
Don't get me wrong I do love her, I DO!  But not in the same way as I love
HIM!  That's two different types of love for me.

"Eddie are you all right?  You been standing here for awhile with a sad
look."

She saw me, oh THAT'S JUST GREAT!!! "Yeah, I'm fine."  I say, I don't like
lying to her, but what am I going to say to her, "No, Jo, what do you think
I'm standing here alone for, I'm watching the man I love, who's my friend,
be with another man, who is also my friend as well!"  I can't tell her that,
but some how, I know, she knows.  I don't know how, but she does.

"Okay Eddie, you at least should go back to your room and rest."  She says
with a faint smile, at least she's not pushing it, didn't I say she was a
sweetheart?  "Yeah, sure, I will, I promise." I tell her.

She nods, and waves bye to me and walks away.  I stay there for a moment,
wondering why couldn't I fall in love with her, instead of  you Jericho,
instead of you.  Damn I try to forget you Chris but it's no use dammit.  My
heart aches as I see him with another.  Aches at the thought that he, his
lover can't be me.  Why DID you have to make me fall in love with you.  God,
what did, I ever do to receive this punishment.  Punishment you say, yes
punishment.  Punishment of not able of going up to him and say I love you,
that I want to hold you, love you with all my heart.  A punishment of just
standing aside and watch your relationship with him grow.  Damn I never meant
to fall in love with you...never.  So why do you put me through so much.  You
were my friend, now why did my feelings for you have to change.  I never
meant to fall in love with you.

I start walking away, walking away from you two.  Walking toward the
elevator, reaching it getting inside and going up to my room.  As I reach my
room I enter and turn on the radio, trying to see if I can forget about you.
A song comes on and hell it tells ya how I'm feeling...

What am I supposed to do with all these blues
Everywhere no matter what I do
Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow
I can't let go
When will this night be over

I didn't mean to fall
In Love with you
And baby there's a name
For what you put me through
It isn't love it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

Seen a lot of broken hearts go sailing by
Phantom ships
Lost at sea and one of them is mine
Raising my glass I sing a toast to the midnight sky
I wonder why the stars don't seem to guide me

As I get up to turn it off, I won't for some reason I won't.  So I stand
here and let the song finish, listening to the words carefully seeing how it
shows and tells what I am feeling.

I didn't mean to fall
In love with you
And baby there's a name
For all the things you do
It isn't love
It's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

The ghost of you and me
When will it set me free
I hear the voices call following footsteps down the hall
Trying to save what's left of my heart and soul...
Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow
I can't let go
When will this night be over

I didn't mean to fall
In Love with you
And baby there's a name
For what you put me through
It isn't love it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

I didn't mean to fall
In Love with you
And baby there's a name
For what you put me through
It isn't love it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

After it's done, I notice I've been crying, tears rolling down my eyes, with
not even bothering to wipe them away, I turn off the radio and lights, and
jump into bed, trying to fall asleep, and not dream of you again.