This sucks.  This sucks like a fucking Hoover.  At least before I had
privacy.  Now Hunter's  been really sweet today and all, but the evening
just went downhill from there with the announcement that we'd be sharing a
room.  I have no privacy now, and what's worse...

What's worse is that I get hard every time I roll over and see Hunter in the
next bed. And I can't even DO anything about it, because I know he's not
quite asleep yet and can see everything I do.  I just want to go home, to
get away from here...

"Mark?"  Hunter's voice cuts through my thoughts.

I froze in place.  "Yeah?"  I managed to choke out.

His voice held a note of amusement.  "Something wrong?  You keep tossing and
turning.."

Shit, he was watching me.  "Just...uhm...can't get comfortable...I'm fine,
really."

"Oh..."  Then, he was silent.  Ok, crisis avoided.  Now, if I could only
fall asleep...

No such luck.  Nearly an hour later, I was still trying to find some way of
resting while I could FEEL Hunter's presence on the other side of the room.
It was like tension filled the air, even if there was no reason for the
atmosphere to be so uncomfortable...

I'm so pathetic.  Any normal man wouldn't feel this way, any normal man
would either just fall asleep or go over and take charge of Hunter.  Both
options seemed lost to me.

I'm gonna kill Kane and Sean tomorrow.  I will kill them, mash them up, toss
them in my urn...I will make them suffer.  They may have thought this was a
really cute idea...let's see how cute they think it is when Sean finds his
underwear glued to the ceiling or something equally obnoxious.

And I still can't sleep.

"Still not comfortable?"

The voice startled me.  "No, I think it's the mattress..."

I could hear Hunter swallow.  "Why don't you come over to my bed then."

Fuckfuckfuckfuck.  I swing my legs out of bed  The room seems so small now,
and I'm about to panic, and Hunter is coming on to me and I have no idea
what to do.  I walk across the room and stand in front of his bed.

Hunter looks at me for a moment, obviously expecting something.  "Well?"  he
finally asks.

"Huh?"  Oh God, making an ass out of myself already.

Hunter rolled his eyes.  "You gonna do anything, Mark, or are you just gonna
stand there?"

Oh God, he wants me to do something.  Which makes sense but....this is why I
don't like control.  Because of that fear that the next thing I do is gonna
make people laugh at me or hate me or....  So I kiss him.  It's a clumsy,
pathetic sort of kiss.

Hunter pulls away from me, blinking in confusion.  "Mark...if you don't want
to do this, you don't have to..."

"No!"  I can't lose my chance, I have to try harder...  "I...I'm just...I'm
nervous."

"Nervous?"  Hunter smiled.  "I can't imagine you nervous..."

"There's a lot of things about me you probably can't imagine," I muttered.

Hunter tilted his head.  "What kinds of things?"

He heard me.  This just keeps getting better and better.  "Nothing.  It's
not important."

"Yes it is," he argued.  "Come on, you're not acting like yourself..."

"And how would you know what I'm supposed to be acting like?"  I was yelling
before I could stop myself.  "You don't know me, Hunter, you don't know what
I'm really like!"

Hunter paused for a moment, then stood and grabbed my shoulders.  "So show
me.  What are you really like, Mark?"

The blood drained from my face.  I can't show him...I can't tell him about
the things that are wrong with me, my...my submissiveness.  But the grip on
my shoulders was powerful, masterful.  Maybe....