I hear the irregular the irregular heartbeat
Of a city street
Thump, thunp Thump, Thump
Thump
Starting points and destinations
Seas of human
Menstruations
Flow and ebb
From place to place
Never even looking
One another in the face
"I'm too good" they think
"To look you in the eye"
In my Dolce & Gabbana suit
And my Movado watch
My fifty dollar hair cut and
Triple espresso, double mocha latte
Whip with caramel from Starbucks
"I'm too good for you"
Oh, you are?
Just because I wear Levi's and
A black t-shirt, a hooded sweatshirt
And Doc Martens
Clothing makes the man they say
But what do they make him?
No matter what you dress shit in
It's still shit
I grow tired of all
The neon-bright lights
Blinding us
Tempting us
We are but sheep to the shining
And all the while we reassure ourselves
That we are simple people
With good intentions
I rant and rave but I am no better
I'm just like you
I need to have my finger on the pulse of things
With a cell phone and e-mail and beeper
Not ever wanting to be disconnected
For then what would I be?
Unreachable to the throngs of the busy people
And the buzzing in my head is just like yours
I break down
I cry
My tears are no poorer than anybody else's
I just want to belong, feel wanted
And if the buzzing persists I will belong
To that wonderful, illustrious club
Whose only membership requirement is
A prescription to Prozac
The many, the proud
The insane
And when I'm inducted
They'll whisper and talk
"Did you hear?
"Did you hear?
"He's on meds now..."
Something new
Something to keep him
Keep him from dreaming
"I always knew."
They would say
Yeah, you knew
You knew me when I was down
And I was alone and scared
And filled with such feelings of self hatred
I don't need to you hate me
I do a good enough job of it on my own
And so time will pass
And the river of people who surround me will
Turn to a slow trickle
Represented by the handful of people
Who don't betray me in my dreams
So, I'll take my pills, for they'll be my reason
To keep my demons from further scheming
And in the end
When I'm in bed
And Luna's watching high
I'll slit my wrists
On an angel's kiss
And say that this is
Goodbye.....