"I'm gonna make love to ya woman, gonna lay you down by the fire and caress your womanly body, make ya moan and perspire. Gonna get those juices flowin' We making love baby, love baby, love baby, love baby, love."
FROM VOLCANO
"Mmmm, baby everytime that we kiss, hot lava. Everytime that we make love there's lava. Hot lava. Lava so hot it makes me sweat lava, so warm and red and wet."
FROM WEIGHT GAIN 4000
"You know Kathy Lee, you are a very special person, I don't mean special in a Mary Tyler Moore way, or...or special in an extra value meal at Happy Burger way, no! No! No! I mean special, like the songs of a hummingbird as it gets ready to find that female humingbird, and make sweet love to it all night long. Just two hummingbirds moaning and groaning. Oh Kathy Lee, how I'ld love to lay you down, and lick every inch of your body with my tongue. Kathy Lee, you're my sexual fantasy, how 'bout you and me get together, make sweet love."
FROM BIG GAY AL'S BIG GAY BOAT RIDE
"You've got to hold your football like you would hold your lover.Gently, yet firmly.That's right. You want to be both nurturing and clinging at the same time. Oh yeah, that's right, just like you're making sweet love to the football. Be naughty with the football! Now spank it ever so gently. Just enough to get the blood flowin'. Spank it! Spank it! Spank the football! Spank it!"
FROM AN ELEPHANT MAKES LOVE TO A PIG
"Tonight is a-right for love, you know. I want to touch you where the lights don't go. Tongiht is a-right for love, love gravy. Expressing love so sweet. I want to keep ya burning like a dog in heat. Tonight is a-right for love, love gravy. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Elton John..."
Elton: "With you tonight, oh it's a-right. Oh tonight is right for love, love gravy."
"Thank you elton! Tonight is right for love...love gravy"
FROM PINK EYE
"I'm gonna make love!Even when I'm dead. My body might get cold, but it's always hot in my bed. Make love! Don't you be afraid, just because my heart ain't beatin',
don't mean you won't get laid!"
FROM MR.HANKEY
I'm gonna lay you down by the yule long and I'm gonna love you right
Baby I'm gonna deck your halls and silent your night.
Let's drink some eggnog and vodka. We can partridge a pear or two.
Ther's a star, a star shimmering in the night and my little drummer boy is ready for you! It's Christmas!
QUOTES FROM CHEF
ON FOOTBALL
"That football is like making love to really beautiful women. You can't always score, but when you do it makes all the trying worht while."
ON PIP ASKING TO USE A HELMET
"Well that wouldn't be very fair to the other children now would it?"
ON TELLING PIP HE CAN FINAILLY HAVE A HELMET
"You bet, Pip! You bet your little cracker ass you can!"
ON SPARKY
"Well, you know what they say, you can't teach a gay dog straight tricks."
ON HOW TO GET AN ELEPHANT AND A PIG IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE
"Do what I do. Get 'em good an drunk."
"Oh, children, you just can't stick a drunk pig with a drunk elephant and expect them to do the matress mambo. You need to set the mood. Let me show you boys what I'm talking about."
ON LOVE THE NEXT MORNING
"Ya, there's nothing worse than getting all drunk and waking up the next morning next to a pig..or a big fat elephant!"
ON KILLING ONE'S GRANDPA
"You can't kill my Granpa, Stan. He's already passed on."
