"I wish I were dead!"
"I'm not being silly, kill me! I'ld do it myself but I'm too damn old"
ON KILLING ONE'S GRANDPA
"I killed my grandpa when I was your age!"
"What is America's youth coming to? Kids won't even kill their own grandparents!"
ON STAN'S REFUSAL TO KILL HIM
"Ingrate!"
"You pompous son of a whore!"
ON TRYING TO GET STAN TO KILL HIM
"Billy, help grandpa stick this fork in the outlet"
ON TRYING TO GET CARTMAN TO KILL HIM
"Well let me tell you something, Porky. Your mom was over here earlier and I humped her like a little bitch!"
"Then I dug up your great grandma's skeleton and had my way with her too"
"Choice piece of ass, your great grandma!"
"I ever tell you about the time I boofed your dad, Fatso?"
WHEN ASKED IF READY TO DIE
"Does a pup crap in the woods?"
"Oh, cut the damn rope already!"
ON THE GRIM REAPER AKA DEATH
"It's about time you lazy ass son of a whore! Come on, let's go!"
"Come back here you pompous som of a panzy!"
"Hey! You were suppose to kill me!"
"That's not fair, God damn it! My grandpa aked me to kill him and I did."
ON HOW TO DIE NATURALLY
"I'm planning a trip to Africa. Did you know over 400 people are eaten naturally by lions in Africa every year?"
