Christmas time is here. That special time of year.
When we celebrate the birth of Chirst whom at the same time we love and fear.
Christmas time is here. What gayiety and cheer.
Not gay in a homo way. Let's drink eggnog and beer.
KYLE'S "I'M A JEW" SONG
It's hard to be a Jew on Chirtmas. My friends won't let me join in any Christmas games
And I can't sing Christmas songs or decorate a Christmas tree.
I can't leave water out for Rudolph cause there's something wrong with me
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's Divinity.
I'm a Jew, A lonely Jew on Christmas!
Hannakuh is nice but why is it that Santa passes over my house every year
and instead of eating ham I'm eating (Sings something in Hebrew)
And instead of Silent Night, I'm singing (Sings somthing in Hebrew)
And what the @%#$! is up with lighting all these @#$%! candles tell me please
I'm a Jew, A lonely Jew on Christmas!
I'ld be merry but I'm Hebrew on Christmas!
MR.HANKEY'S INTRO SONG
Santa Claus is on his way. He's loaded goodies on his sleigh.
He'll drop them off on Christmas Day and I'll say 'Howdy Ho'!
Folks will gather round the fire and listen to songs from a choir
Than they'll all retire and I'll say 'Howdy Ho'!
CARTMAN'S "KYLE'S MOM'S A BITCH" SONG
Kyle's mom's a bitch! She's a big fat bitch!
She's the biggest bitch on the whole wide world! She's a stupid bitch
If there ever was a bitch, She's a bitch to all the boys and girls
On Monday she's a bitch! On Tuesday she's a bitch!
And Wednesday through Saturday she's a bitch! And then on Sunday
just to be different she's a gigantor king kamamaayamaaya bitch!
If you ever met my friend Kyle's mom, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world
she's a mean old bitch and she has stupid hair
if there ever was a bitch! She's a bitch,bitch,bitch,bitch,bitch,bitch,bitch,bitch!
She's a stupid bitch! Kyle's mom's a bitch
and she's just a dirty bitch. Kyle's mom is a BITCH!
Mr. Hankey didn't like Cartman's song.
KYLE SINGS "THE DREIDEL SONG" IN MENTAL HOSPITAL
Drediel, dreidel, driedel, I made you out of clay.
Drediel, dreidel, driedel, with you I will play
Secound verse the same as the first!
CHEF'S CHRISTMAS SONG
I'm gonna lay you down by the yule long and I'm gonna love you right
Baby I'm gonna deck your halls and silent your night.
Let's drink some eggnog and vodka. We can partridge a pear or two.
Ther's a star, a star shimmering in the night and my little drummer boy is ready for you! It's Christmas!
THE SCHOOL'S NON-OFFENSIVE CHRISTMAS SONG
Death! Death! The turtle laughs!
The turtle sings! The turtle knows so many things!
Mock not the turtle! Merry Christmas! Mock not the turtle!
MR. HANKEY, THE CHRISTMAS POO SONG
Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo! He loves me! And I love you!
Therefore vicariously he loves you! Even if you're a Jew!
Sometimes he's nutty, sometimes he's corny!
He can be brown or greenish brown!
But if you eat fiber on Chirtmas Eve, he may come to your town!
If you believe in Mr. Hankey, sing into the toliet bowl
Cause on that very special day, the little guy just might show.
