Obsession by Nic (stardestiny@bigfoot.com) 26 September 2000. Okay. Xena. Love her or hate her, you can't ignore her. And unfortunately, I seem to be in the "love her" category. I hate admitting it and I know how weak it makes me seem, but it's too late for that. The truth is out there. And I wonder how I became so weak. My life revolves around Xena lately, Xena and that cursed child of hers that's threatening to destroy every single one of us. It has me practically killing my own family (and I certainly wouldn't mind wiping Hercules off the face of the universe thank you very much). The child was fated, I can't deny that and neither can any of the other gods. Our death is staring us in the face. I plan to be the last one left standing. Preferably with Xena at my side. What we had in the past was so good. Okay, so maybe I drove her a little insane but you can't fault me for that, can you? I'm the God of War, it's what I do. She proved she was better, stronger than what I drove her to, she was the only one who ever managed to stand up to me. I love her all the more for that. She has fire, spirit, and I think we all know how beautiful she is. The strongest woman to ever exist and I am forever longing for the past we used to have, or the future that we could make together. She doesn't believe I love her like this, but I do. Only it's so hard to get past her defences. It sounds like an obsession. Believe me, I'm not obsessed. Okay, maybe a little. But don't tell anyone I said that. It was hard enough to admit to myself that I loved her, let alone admit it to her. And she feels something too, I know she does. She can say that she feels nothing all she wants, but I caught a hint of her dream. I know she liked it. And that day - when she offered herself to me for Eve's life - it can't have been a total set-up. If she really was disgusted with me then she wouldn't have been able to bring herself to touch me. Kiss me. Trust me, I've been kissed by a lot of women over the past few thousand years and no one kisses me like Xena does. The only problem is a little thing called forgiveness. As in can Xena ever forgive me for what I've done to her, and Gabrielle, and those she loved, in the past? I know I'm not the nicest guy that ever lived, but don't I deserve just a little slack? She can't stay mad forever, can she? Then again, she is Xena. My obsession. My Xena. - End.